Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this response to a hospital complaint isn’t good enough ?

229 replies

famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 11:01

Dd had been unwell for some months in 2019. Repeated trips to gp. Nothing found.
Stomach aches, cold all the time, not growing well feeling sick etc etc all those sorts of symptoms and worsening. Kept being told ‘viral’

One week she was so unwell we took her to a and e as I suspected anaemia maybe as she was sleeping a lot and had no energy?
I was very worried we were seen and a dr said she probably needs some bloods done which I agreed with and we went to wait for the emla cream etc.

Then we were called through by a diff dr and agressively questioned then said she actually didn’t actually think bloods were needed i said I wanted her to have them done she kept shouting at me in front of dd ‘why do you want me to hurt her by putting needles in her ?’ And ‘I won’t stick needles in a child for no reason ‘
She was absolutely horrible told us dd was ‘fine ‘ That she looked fine I tried to explain she looked so much healthier a year before and had now become paler and thinner but she said no she looked fine to her

She was aggressive and was telling me I wanted to have my child hurt for no reason with a needle ??

I decided to walk out and we then went private. Waited a couple of weeks had bloods and dd was anaemic and had coeliacs.
I complained to the hospital and this has taken months to investigate then again as they said nothing had been found the first time that the dr hasn’t done anything wrong so i said no look at this again and theybe come back with ‘sorry that you felt this way’ basically. No apology no admittance that dd had needed bloods nothing and I’m so cross we were treated like we wanted to hurt our child!
I don’t know what to do now all I’ve been able to do is leave an online review for this dr to warn others but she was abominable and I’m really upset that we don’t even get an apology

OP posts:
shouldistop · 27/01/2021 12:21

If you had called 111 and said your small child was suddenly sleeping all day they'd probably say A&E too

Indecisive12 · 27/01/2021 12:21

You aren’t taking on board anyone’s comments here. No point in responding again. I can imagine the doctor getting frustrated if you also did not take on board what she was saying.

Bollss · 27/01/2021 12:21

@shouldistop

If you had called 111 and said your small child was suddenly sleeping all day they'd probably say A&E too
ime, they'd send an ambulance.
Fleurty · 27/01/2021 12:21

No it wouldn't. You're diagnosed with diabetes through your GP who refers you to the hospital clinical team.

You would only be admitted through A&E if you were in advanced diabetic ketoacidosis (and therefore unconscious) and then it would be an emergency.

greatpopcorn · 27/01/2021 12:21

@LiJo2015 great, I'll bite. What is your evidence that medical school encourages arrogance?

Shmithecat2 · 27/01/2021 12:22

Christ, you're hard work OP.

OP - AIBU?

Most pp - a bit, yes. You need to complain about the GPs, not the A and E dr, who you shouldn't have seen at all.

OP - OK, well, I'll complain about the GP and take the Hospital to the Ombudsman.

Hmm
Fleurty · 27/01/2021 12:22

Sorry meant to quote your post where you said if your daughter had diabetes it would have been an emergency

Original poster
famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 12:23

@Couchbettato

Op I probably would have taken my son to A&E as well if he was sleeping days at a time.

It could have been completely unrelated to the symptoms she was previously presenting, and extreme fatigue is a symptom of many conditions, some which are considered critical.

How are you to know which condition that is? You're not a doctor (presumably).

I do think you should complain about the GP too. And perhaps anxiety is preventing you from deciding the right path to take. But I absolutely would have done the same in your shoes.

This was the thing - i didn’t know what she had but I knew she had something and some of the possibilities absolutely could have warranted a and e What then - if we had been sent away . We were lucky it wasn’t something with similar symptoms - for example diabetes or leukaemia or some kind of internal bleeding or a child in and out of actual consciousness rather than just sleeping due to exhaustion

I wasn’t prepared to wait I was scared !

OP posts:
Original poster
famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 12:24

@Fleurty

No it wouldn't. You're diagnosed with diabetes through your GP who refers you to the hospital clinical team.

You would only be admitted through A&E if you were in advanced diabetic ketoacidosis (and therefore unconscious) and then it would be an emergency.

No you’re wrong many are diagnosed through a and e
OP posts:
LiJo2015 · 27/01/2021 12:24

@greatpopcorn

I went to southanpton and bristol med school. I also have experience of medics at KCL. Too many stories.

MrsWindass · 27/01/2021 12:25

My advice to you having initiated an NHS complaint before is to concentrate on your daughter and moving forwards with this . It is unlikely that you will achieve any satisfaction and your time will be spent more positively on her.

Indecisive12 · 27/01/2021 12:25

@famedThesaurusofTheforgotten are you a medical or health professional?

YesMeLady · 27/01/2021 12:26

sorry to hear about your daughter, hope she is feeling better. I think the issue is that your gp didn't take your concerns seriously, that should be your first complaint, they could have ordered blood tests and investigations.

If you felt the A&E doctor was rude and dismissive then that's a complaint against that individual doctor, you don't know what treatment or investigations they may have ordered as you walked out
and the rude manner, although unacceptable, is something that should be addressed.

Who did you complain to? I would have written to PALS or the A&E Director, what action do you want taken if you take it further?
An apology from the individual doctor? that won't happen, its your word against theirs, they may just say that you walked out of the department.
If you feel that your daughters condition was missed and treatment delayed then the first start is the gp who didn't seem to do anything.

Iwouldratherbemuckingout · 27/01/2021 12:27

Your next recourse is to the Parliamentary and Health Services Ombudsman, who are the last tier in the health complaints system. The NHS complaint handler should have given you this information!

Clarinsmum · 27/01/2021 12:29

OP save your energy and just leave this. My DS was 6 when diagnosed as coeliac privately. The GP refused to do anything, even though I am a coeliac and so is my dad. We have family insurance through work so went private immediately. The private gastro then had to hassle the GP for any action once diagnosed for him to be added to the NHS kid’s coeliac service for monitoring etc. The NHS is crap at dealing with chronic illness and can never be wrong. Just don’t waste brain space on this, it isn’t worth it and you won’t get anywhere.

viques · 27/01/2021 12:31

This happened in 2019! Why are you only beginning to think about complaining now? Have you been proactive about your child’s health by changing to a better GP?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 27/01/2021 12:31

"Sorry you felt this way" is not an apology, its another way of telling someone it didnt happen

Indeed - but sadly, all too often, it's the go-to reaction

Or to put it another way, "Phew - she won't be able to prove it so we're off the hook"

Staffy1 · 27/01/2021 12:35

I'm sorry I have no advice, but your post made me so angry for you. What a disgrace, but sadly too common. Have experienced similar attitudes myself when my DS has symptoms and I know he's not right and they refuse to do tests. Unfortunately we have also had this from some of the private consultants. It's so annoying that we have to suggest tests to do to them as well as they often don't seem to have a clue. E.g. my DS had very noticeable increase in thirst and urinating and much more subdued, less lively. I had to ask for a diabetes check as it didn't seem to occur and then had to argue about it as got told they were sure he didn't have it as he didn't look half dead. So sick of having to fight for basic medical service.

Fleurty · 27/01/2021 12:36

"No you’re wrong many are diagnosed through a and e"

No, you're wrong. Type 1 diabetes is only diagnosed through A&E if the patient is taken in as an emergency with DKA. If you're such an expert on diabetes then you would have known that your child couldn't have been having the symptoms of untreated diabetes for a year. It generally takes 1-2 weeks from the pancreas shutting down to a DKA emergency.

You shouldn't be taking your child to A&E because you incorrectly think they might possibly be showing some symptoms of diabetes. That is what the GP I'd for, and if you had the means to go private then you should have done that instead of going to A&E.

Lorieandrews · 27/01/2021 12:36

Oh bless you!

My dd was very poorly. Over the space of 2 years I took her to the gp over 50 times. I took her to a and e. She was having fevers. Every single 10 days. Her teeth disintegrated. Because she vomited so much. She was screaming in agony

I was told it was viral. When I was at a and e. They said they’d give her morphine. Which helped. They said to get something stronger than calpol. (The a and e trip was a nightmare). They said they’d sent a report to my gp explains this the next day.

Great. So rang my gp. They told me they’d got the report. Great. Can I have an appointment. Yes. Fab

I get into the gp office. Which at this point all my child is doing is screaming hysterically in pain. She’s also not one who gets sick. So I said before her fevers. You’ll see. She was never sick. She agreed. I said about what the dr had said. About pain relief. Seeing as she’s just screaming snd crying saying mummy it hurts. Mummy is so bad. Mummy make the pain stop. The dr tells me they haven’t got the report and how bad a mother I was for asking for morphine for my child. First off. I didn’t ask for morphine. Not once. I didn’t even tell her she’d had it the night before. I said eh? Where did you get that from. She said it was obvious that’s what I was asking for.....I said ok right....I said you can see for yourself. She’s screaming. She’s been like this for a week....all I’m asking for is something better than calpol. She said she’s refusing to do so because the next step for a child would be morphine. I said so you’re telling me. There’s nothing pain relief wise in between calpol and morphine?!?? It’s one or the other? That’s it??? I don’t want her to have it. But what she’s having now isn’t working....which was both calpol and ibuprofen...

Long story short. I walked out of there crying. My daughter still in agony. I rang the private hospital when I got home and made an app the next day.

Turns out she had a really rare condition

I made an official complaint against that gp. Not for what she said to me. Or how she treated me. But for leaving a screaming little child in agony.....

I got the same as you. Sorry for that. Won’t happen again. That’s it.

Fieldofyellowflowers · 27/01/2021 12:36

Whether or not A&E was the right place it is where you ended up. Your daughter should have been given proper care. With those symptoms, the doctor should have ordered a blood test, not tried to diagnose her by sight.

Original poster
famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 12:37

@viques

This happened in 2019! Why are you only beginning to think about complaining now? Have you been proactive about your child’s health by changing to a better GP?
It was dec 19 We then had a few weeks after that visit tests appts etc and then I complained in feb 20 and it took months and months for the first response then another 6 weeks after I said the first wasn’t good enough as didn’t address any of the issues raised
OP posts:
destructogirl · 27/01/2021 12:39

I think some people are being a bit too harsh. I'd have been scared and desperate enough to go to a&e too, it could easily have been something way worse than coeliac .
I think it was your GP who has mainly let you down but the a&e person was unnecessarily rude, you must have been so worried.

At least now you have the diagnosis you can help her, I hope she feels better soon.

Dogonahottinroof · 27/01/2021 12:40

What did the out of hours GP say before you went to A&E?

Bollss · 27/01/2021 12:40

@Puzzledandpissedoff

"Sorry you felt this way" is not an apology, its another way of telling someone it didnt happen

Indeed - but sadly, all too often, it's the go-to reaction

Or to put it another way, "Phew - she won't be able to prove it so we're off the hook"

yep, it is. Rude doctors arent a rarity ime either. We took DS to a&e when he was about 9 months old as he appeared to be struggling to breathe, they saw him straight away, and the doctor said to me "well what did you expect - did you not know he has oversize tonsils?"

eerrrrrrm, no?! i am not a HCP! I know the square route of fuck all about how big a 9 month olds tonsils are! he was such a twat.