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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this response to a hospital complaint isn’t good enough ?

229 replies

famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 11:01

Dd had been unwell for some months in 2019. Repeated trips to gp. Nothing found.
Stomach aches, cold all the time, not growing well feeling sick etc etc all those sorts of symptoms and worsening. Kept being told ‘viral’

One week she was so unwell we took her to a and e as I suspected anaemia maybe as she was sleeping a lot and had no energy?
I was very worried we were seen and a dr said she probably needs some bloods done which I agreed with and we went to wait for the emla cream etc.

Then we were called through by a diff dr and agressively questioned then said she actually didn’t actually think bloods were needed i said I wanted her to have them done she kept shouting at me in front of dd ‘why do you want me to hurt her by putting needles in her ?’ And ‘I won’t stick needles in a child for no reason ‘
She was absolutely horrible told us dd was ‘fine ‘ That she looked fine I tried to explain she looked so much healthier a year before and had now become paler and thinner but she said no she looked fine to her

She was aggressive and was telling me I wanted to have my child hurt for no reason with a needle ??

I decided to walk out and we then went private. Waited a couple of weeks had bloods and dd was anaemic and had coeliacs.
I complained to the hospital and this has taken months to investigate then again as they said nothing had been found the first time that the dr hasn’t done anything wrong so i said no look at this again and theybe come back with ‘sorry that you felt this way’ basically. No apology no admittance that dd had needed bloods nothing and I’m so cross we were treated like we wanted to hurt our child!
I don’t know what to do now all I’ve been able to do is leave an online review for this dr to warn others but she was abominable and I’m really upset that we don’t even get an apology

OP posts:
greatpopcorn · 27/01/2021 11:57

A&E is not there to deal with non emergencies just because GP is not doing what you want them to do.

Shmithecat2 · 27/01/2021 11:57

So, countless GPs missed it for months and that's ok, but you wasted the time of an A and E doctor, they gave you short shrift and you want to complain about her? Hmm

saffire · 27/01/2021 11:58

You need to complain about your GP really. They are the ones that should've followed this up and investigated further.

Lass67 · 27/01/2021 11:59

I understand your frustration but you’re complaining about the wrong place.
If you want an answer from the GP fine, but though I understand the doctor was a bit harsh A&E does not do bloods on children for no apparent acute complaint.
Also depending on age of child these things can legitimately be hard to diagnose.

Original poster
famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 11:59

@greatpopcorn

A&E is not there to deal with non emergencies just because GP is not doing what you want them to do.
It was an emergency she started sleeping all the time - that to me is an emergency. We had to see someone privately and get bloods and in the 2 weeks from then till getting results I was terrified
OP posts:
LiJo2015 · 27/01/2021 12:00

As an ex medic - a missed coeliac diagnosis is a common story. I also know that the training path of medicine and too many docs suffer pathologically with a god complex. I too had a recent bad experience with NHS 'care'. I complained and some degree of an apology was given. Sadly though, a paternalistic and archaic approach to medicine combined with gross understaffing with stress levels at an all time high at the moment will always render the NHS limited in terms of holistic and empathic care.

whenthestarsgoblue · 27/01/2021 12:00

Suspected anoemia isn't an a&e issue, or to demand bloods. That's a gp appointment. A&E costs millions per year in unnecessary walk ins. The hospital probably sees that it wasn't an accident nor an emergency. Was she a little rude? Absolutely. Did she have the right to refuse bloods when it wasn't necessary? Absolutely. They are over worked and over utilised, and you were using the service incorrectly. I'm not sure what more you want from the situation? You've been told by almost all pp that you are in the wrong, but clearly won't accept that - so why ask in the first place ??

RhubarbAndRoses · 27/01/2021 12:01

OP, if my child was sleeping all day, seemed very unwell and I wasn’t getting anywhere with the GP I would’ve done the same thing. Actually, I have been in a similar position and my DD was hospitalised for a week with a kidney infection. Have you looked up the NHS complaints procedure? After PALS there are other steps you can take.

greatpopcorn · 27/01/2021 12:01

@famedThesaurusofTheforgotten I'm going by the A&E doctors assessment of emergency, not yours.

If the a&e doctor did not feel it was an emergency, they were right to not investigate just because your GP has been difficulty

Original poster
famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 12:02

So would everyone else just accept a child who had been unwell for months just sleeping all the time ? And what keep on at the gp because I was worried dd could have been really ill
I thought maybe anaemia from some kind of serious underlying reason
I worried about diabetes or leukaemia with the sleeping I think I was justified to take her when I’d seen the gp thst day and been told ‘it’s viral and she may have post viral fatigue come back again if no better’ and I’d been going back so much and getting fobbed off and I was scared

OP posts:
luxxlisbon · 27/01/2021 12:03

I really don't see why you are so insistent on placing the entire blame on your daughter's missed diagnosis on this one A&E doctor not waiting to do bloods in A&E but seem to completely gloss over your own GP.

They are who you should be having an issue with, although chronic things like coeliac are often very difficult and lengthy to diagnose particularly when lesser obvious symptoms present themselves.

Original poster
famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 12:04

@whenthestarsgoblue

Suspected anoemia isn't an a&e issue, or to demand bloods. That's a gp appointment. A&E costs millions per year in unnecessary walk ins. The hospital probably sees that it wasn't an accident nor an emergency. Was she a little rude? Absolutely. Did she have the right to refuse bloods when it wasn't necessary? Absolutely. They are over worked and over utilised, and you were using the service incorrectly. I'm not sure what more you want from the situation? You've been told by almost all pp that you are in the wrong, but clearly won't accept that - so why ask in the first place ??
I didn’t demand the bloods one dr suggested they I agreed then suddenly I was being told there was nothing wrong that to the second dr my dd looked fine
OP posts:
Indecisive12 · 27/01/2021 12:04

I understand what you are saying, she deteriorated and was sleeping a lot so you took her to A&E. This i get. The thing is she would have been assessed in A&E and deemed that it was nothing that imminently needed treating, if it was she would have been admitted. So in this case the thing to so would be to go back to your GP and request a paediatrician referral. A&E will have different ideas of what requires urgent treatment as they are trained. They will have assessed your child and deemed she was in no imminent danger. Yes the sooner your Dd’s coeliac was picked up the better for her but I agree that is not A&E’s role. It should have been GP then paediatrician.

Original poster
famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 12:05

@luxxlisbon

I really don't see why you are so insistent on placing the entire blame on your daughter's missed diagnosis on this one A&E doctor not waiting to do bloods in A&E but seem to completely gloss over your own GP.

They are who you should be having an issue with, although chronic things like coeliac are often very difficult and lengthy to diagnose particularly when lesser obvious symptoms present themselves.

Because she was shouting at me that i wanted her to hurt my daughter with a need for no reason That my dd was fine That she looked fine That the gp was right there was nothing wrong
OP posts:
whenthestarsgoblue · 27/01/2021 12:05

I wouldn't take a child to a&e for sleeping no. I would keep going back to the gp and push a referral. Even call 111 for an out of hours appointment to see a different doctor for an opinion.

Original poster
famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 12:06

@Indecisive12

I understand what you are saying, she deteriorated and was sleeping a lot so you took her to A&E. This i get. The thing is she would have been assessed in A&E and deemed that it was nothing that imminently needed treating, if it was she would have been admitted. So in this case the thing to so would be to go back to your GP and request a paediatrician referral. A&E will have different ideas of what requires urgent treatment as they are trained. They will have assessed your child and deemed she was in no imminent danger. Yes the sooner your Dd’s coeliac was picked up the better for her but I agree that is not A&E’s role. It should have been GP then paediatrician.
But surely in deeming that nothing needed treating they needed to do some tests ?
OP posts:
Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 27/01/2021 12:07

Your complaint, surely is with your GP?

I'm glad your DD has her diagnosis, and hope you are all doing ok, this shouldn't have happened.

I don't know what purpose pursuing a complaint with the hospital at this time, in a pandemic would serve though.

LiJo2015 · 27/01/2021 12:08

@famedThesaurusofTheforgotten

I totally get why you feel angry at the a and e doc and agree 100% she should be pulled up for it. She demonstrated zero empathy. However the hospital will cover for her owing to the risk of being sued. As hard as it may be, just hope that your complaint gives this doc insight into how inappropriate and unempthetic the consultation was.

shouldistop · 27/01/2021 12:08

If my child had been ill for a long time and started sleeping all day and the gp wouldn't help then I'd probably take them to A&E out of desperation too.
Ok it didn't turn out to be an issue for A&E but the doctor spoke to you in a horrible manner.
Personally I'd just leave it as what can they actually do to make it better now?

Backbee · 27/01/2021 12:08

I would complain about the GPs who were dismissive, rather than one doctor in A&E whose job is primarily to assess the most appropriate immediate care for someone, the clue is in the name. I don't think you were unreasonable as you were worried and not getting answers elsewhere, but the crux of your issue was the GPs not listening or taking it seriously, no?

Original poster
famedThesaurusofTheforgotten · 27/01/2021 12:08

@Ihatemyseleffordoingthis

Your complaint, surely is with your GP?

I'm glad your DD has her diagnosis, and hope you are all doing ok, this shouldn't have happened.

I don't know what purpose pursuing a complaint with the hospital at this time, in a pandemic would serve though.

Yes maybe you’re right i will put in a complaint to the gp and take the hospital one further to the ombudsman
OP posts:
luxxlisbon · 27/01/2021 12:09

@famedThesaurusofTheforgotten. That my dd was fine
That she looked fine
That the gp was right there was nothing wrong

A&E is there for immediate emergencies and accidents, it is literally in the name. They aren't there to diagnose chronic conditions, so as far as A&E goes she was fine as she was in no danger and in need of treatment at that time.

Everyone understands you were worried about your daughter but it is not the place for suspected anaemia, coeliac or diabetes!

If there is no current emergency then there is nothing for them to do and frankly all you have done is make someone with an actual emergency wait longer.

Backbee · 27/01/2021 12:09

take the hospital one further to the ombudsman

Because someone spoke to you a bit rudely? Wow...

LiJo2015 · 27/01/2021 12:10

@famedThesaurusofTheforgotten

I absolitely understand why you went to a and e - are you complaining to the gp too? As they should definately reflect on this missed diagnosis.

Jobsharenightmare · 27/01/2021 12:10

Hi OP,

Two issues here to me

  1. the manner of the A&E doctor re the needles comments in front of your daughter. Have you made it clear via PALS that your issue is how you were dealt with from a bedside manner POV not the clinical reasoning?

  2. your useless GP. This warrants a complaint as you should never have ended up going to A&E. The second day your 5 year old couldn't get up you should have requested an urgent GP appointment so it never became something you felt so worried about you went to A&E. If you did, but the GP did not see your daughter after you requested this, I'd make a complaint about that. I would also complain about the "viral" diagnosis without comprehensive investigations.