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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want any more babies because I am lazy and have no patience

51 replies

mesaloca · 30/10/2007 10:50

DH has lots of siblings so wants lots of kids. DD is 12 months and has been hard hard work, she was an awful sleeper (still not great) and very demanding. The whole sleep thing has affecting me a great deal and tests the small amount of patience that I have. I love DD she is fabulous but I don't want to do it all again, ever. The thought of having another one like her makes me shudder and I really dont think that I would be able to cope.

DH cannot come to terms with this and says I am being selfish and mean. I agree I am being selfish but am I being mean to him and DD? I was an only child and don't have any problems because of that but he thinks DD needs siblings.

DH's family also think I am unreasonable and say that we did it 'the hard way' with DD (slings, BF, co-sleeping) and that if we were more sensible and did it the easy way (crying, bottles, buggies, schedules and cots) then everyone would be happy and it wouldn't be as hard. The thing is I really couldn't raise a child like that and if I did the guilt would drive me crazy.

I really believe that I am in the right for not bringing a child into the world that I couldn't give 100% to and that might send me potty. DH is acting like this threatens our relationship in some way though which is very worrying.

So what do you think AIBU and if not can I have some good things to say to DH and his family in my defence?

OP posts:
lailasmum · 31/10/2007 15:38

I would just say you are not ready yet, at 12 months you are still in the thick of all the hard core baby stuff. I wasn't ready until my daughter was 3 and she will be nearly four when baby number 2 arrives. She is so much more independent now and its made a huge difference to me and my desire for another one.

Just let your husband know that its a bit early but maybe in the future you will be ready, its just a bit soon.

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