To think inherited money is not family money

[Viviennemary]

There have been a lot of threads about partners not sharing their earnings when the other person earns less or is a SAHP. And of course money needs to be dealt with in a fair way and shared with the other person having access.

But what about inherited money. I think that belongs totally to the person inheriting. Of course if it was a huge sum you would probably give something to your partner but I certainly wouldn't think it was half theirs.

I think it's not healthy to have an "his" and "hers" money pot once you have children together.

We work on a 'one pit' system in our house, joint account, etc. However, If DH inherited then I'd leave it to him with regards to what he wanted to spend it on as I'd view it as HIS money (he would see it as family money, as would I if I inherited but I wouldn't expect it from him). In the case of divorce, I would make no claim against monies that he had inherited. IMO, that's very wrong!

All money, including inheritance is shared in our family.

flour how sad. That's how PIL think and they live miserably with pots of money stashed away. No-one enjoying it. No one benefitting from it.
Someone down the line will spend it all it one day. I wouldn't just pass it on and cross my fingers it wouldn't be wasted.

One pot*

Definitely joint money. ALL money that me and DH get apart from for a birthday present is OUR money. We opened a joint account when we got married 40 years ago and closed our separate accounts.

DH inherited a substantial amount 3 years ago. We discussed what to do with it and bought a house outright and had a nice holiday. I did say that he should buy himself something even if only a small something but he did not want to

@SimonJT you spend the interest you pass on the capital. I don’t see money coming from my grandparents to my parents and then to me as something I can spend. I hold it for much children only spending interest if I need to. Not fair the chain ends with me!

@cptartapp not sad at all - it’s lovely to feel you are passing on security.

If you expect any kind of inheritance, be sure to make a will, and keep it up to date.

[quote flourandeggs]@SimonJT you spend the interest you pass on the capital. I don’t see money coming from my grandparents to my parents and then to me as something I can spend. I hold it for much children only spending interest if I need to. Not fair the chain ends with me![/quote]
But you’re children also can’t spend it either.

I used my inheritance to pay off our joint mortgage. I don't think I'd have handed DH a lump sum just for him to spend but I wanted to use it to give us both, and now also our children, financial security and a mortgage free home.

@mintbiscuit

It’s accumulated assets within marriage. So joint. You divorce it all goes in the pot with your pension, wider savings and property to be divided appropriately. That’s the law

Not strictly true. Depends on many things.

My DH inherited 200k which he put in an account in both of our names. I didn’t consider it ‘my’ money but I would be very upset if he hadn’t considered it ‘our’ money. Luckily he’s a good guy and ascribes to the ‘what’s mine is yours’ view of marriage..

Its joint money in our household.

My husbands uncle died recently and his inheritance will just go into the 'pot'. We have already discussed how it will be used - we're putting a large amount of it into savings for the kids education, which is what we think his uncle would have wanted, and is a massive relief for us.
DH desperately needs a new car and has done for years, and I got the last 'new' car, so we've agreed that that is the second thing on the list. The rest we will put towards the mortgage/house improvments/joint savings.

Likewise if my DM died, my 'share' (as its split between 3 sisters)
would also be family money. DH would probably suggest I get myself something 'nice' in the same way I said he should invest in a decent car.

However as others have said, it very much depends on circumstances. Right now our family unit is very 2.4 kids (without the 0.4!) - we've been married 16 years, and there are no blended families or anyone else to consider, so its pretty straightforward. Whats mine is yours and vice versa.

@AStudyinPink

In our house, inherited money is the same as other money: joint and shared. That’s what we said in our marriage vows so that’s what we do.

Same here.

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer why would I be the one to break the chain? I am comfortable, housed, happy - why wouldn’t I rather pass it on to my children and them to their children with interest to enjoy a few bits and bobs but with capital to pass on.

I've recently inherited from my grandma, some money and jewellery. Money is for family pot (will go towards paying off our mortgage). Jewellery is mine to decide what to do with.

I don't see why any spouse would keep money from their own immediate family whether income or inherited. If income is viewed as "our" money it seems weird to me to have a windfall as purely "mine".

Maybe if you were just partners and had no children or met much later in life I could understand the whole this is mine that is yours, but married with young children together it just goes into the pot. We don’t have separate money we merged everything pretty much as soon as we were engaged (I guess neither of us had millions in the bank and had similar earnings and savings, no other children etc). How exactly would you keep the money to yourself if you were married with kids? Buy yourself a fancy car and go on nice holidays alone? Or leave it sat in a separate bank account and when you can’t afford a holiday as a family from your normal pot say “sorry this is my inherited money, only I can spend it on me”. Utterly bizarre way to think or live if you are married.

@SimonJT they spend the interest on the capital too. More than enough to embellish life a little knowing that they can then pass it on to their kids, it’s the loveliest feeling in the world.

It’s complicated and I think it depends on how wealthy you are to start with.
Most normal people probably have a mortgage and bills and a small amount of spending money a month, any inheritance would probably be used to pay off mortgage, debts, new car and a nice holiday. That is joint benefit to the whole family.
If however you already have millions, several properties etc then it is probably easier to ‘own’ your inheritance and keep it to your self but most plebs don’t have that luxury so like me any money is just joint and used to the benefit of the family.

I don't understand the logic that inheritance only has one person's name on it so isn't family money. My payslip only has my name on it, and I graft for every penny, and that is family money so why would inheritance be different?
DH inherited a little bit (a bequeath from extended family), he opened up a conversation about what "we" would do with it. Fairly mundane boring things that families do but it was definitely our decision not just his.

Family money but with a view to benefiting any children.

It's all hypothetical in out case!

flour my DC will (hopefully) have a great inheritance from our assets alone.
If someone gives me money I'm going to enjoy it. Someone will likely fritter it one day, or spend it in a way previous benefactors wouldn't approve of. DH Is very secure without inheritance from PIL. Yet they live on the cheap and have never left the country. What a waste.

We used my inheritance as a deposit to move from a 2 bed house to a 4 bed house (we have 3 DC) so it benefitted the whole family