To ask why we struggle with money so much.

[whatismyusername29]

Hi all, probably not the right place but guess posting here for traffic.

I am SAHP. I have two dc with additional needs. My partner works and brings home around £500 a week after tax plus he usually does overtime so can be more. He gets paid monthly so usually around £2000 take home maybe a little more with overtime. . Up until last year he was paid weekly so we have struggled with this transition and making it stretch.

We also get child benefit, I get £30 a week for my son from his father. DS also gets DLA (low rate mobility and middle rate care) and I receive Carers allowance for DS as his needs are quite significant. Despite Dd having additional needs too we do not claim for her yet.

We own our own home. Our mortgage is just a little less than £400 a month on our home worth around £200,000 We do run two cars which is quite a big expense. Our bills tend to be quite high - gas/electric/water. We do spend quite a lot on food. We have some debt (maybe around 2 grand).

We don’t have many luxuries. Haven’t had a holiday in several years, neither of us drink alcohol so that isn’t an added cost.

But why are we skint? Our mortgage is low, we aren’t in a huge amount of debt, don’t have luxuries. We do have subscriptions for Netflix, prime etc but who doesn’t?! Both have phone contracts but again who doesn’t?!

DS’s school lunches are costing me a fortune normally. Around £45 a month but he won’t eat a packed lunch. Dd is younger and gets free lunches in infants.

A holiday (covid allowing) would be nice but how?!

Aibu to think we really shouldn’t struggle so much?!

We are overdrawn by the end of the month always.

Advice? Best ways to save money? How to cut down on food costs.

I appreciate we are in a better position then some. Are bills are paid and we have food but there just isn’t a lot left. I cannot remember the last time I bought clothes for myself!

We need new carpet but how?! Unless we put it on credit but want to avoid that.

We want to get married but not sure how we could possibly avoid it?!

We do have some savings but only around 2 grand. It’s saved for a rainy day - cars going wrong, stuff going wrong in the house etc.

We’ve just spend £700 getting out heating system fixed!

I know many people will tell me to get a job. I want to but that easy with my two and the unsociable hours dp works!

Money Saving Expert has a brilliant bills buster and budgeting tool to help you reduce your bills and make the most of your income

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/

Also. Freeze bread and milk. You won’t need the top ups.

We want to get married but not sure how we could possibly avoid it?!

Unless it’s an arranged marriage you just... don’t do it until you can afford it.

Do you really need 2 cars if you could manage get rid of one
Your son would eat a packed lunch he just prefers dinners ! Try and go Aldi food shopping it's much cheaper than Tesco etc. See if you can claim anything for your sons additional needs

I really do recommend sign up to the free trial of Youneedabudget and export a few months of online banking transactions. A couple of hours and you will have a lovely but possibly surprising chart of your outgoings. Don't faff around with finding and re typing paper statements.

To cut your food shopping go in the evening at the time items are being reduced.

I do Morrisons, followed by Tesco, then Asda and then for everything else Aldi. You will find, bread, meat, fresh fruit and veg, yoghurt, milk, etc reduced to pennies. Most things can be frozen. Look at the aisle where the dented tins, etc are kept and there is usually a freezer cabinet with reduced items too.

We have a fridge freezer and a very large chest freezer. Learn to freeze things when they are in season such as windfall apples and anything you grow in the garden. Make big batches of soups, dahl, ratatouille, Bolognese and freeze them. The trick is to keep your cupboards full so that you never to run low on things and are forced into buying them at full price or thinking there is nothing to eat and ordering in a takeaway. We never have takeaways!

My weekly budget is half of yours with more mouths to feed and our household income is very considerably higher than yours. It's not a necessity, but a bit of a hobby and a challenge and makes shopping fun and it leaves more money to spend on other things.

In all honesty, people manage on a lot less income than that and can afford reasonably regular treats. I think you need to look carefully at your spending and be honest with yourself. Think about every penny that you are spending because a 'few quid here and there' soon adds up

In all honesty the Netflix would be bottom of my list to cancel as you're likely at home all of the time so it's probably really worth the money.

What pp said. :-)

We had a (free) appointment with a financial advisor through dh's work - op, look into whether that is something you can access. I'd been trawling through bills to see where to cut back and whereas that was the top luxury on my list of things to cull, he really advised against it. We don't smoke, gamble, drink much, splurge on clothes, rarely have nights out due to small children...he told us to keep this one small thing as a treat else it would be so dry and miserable that we'd really hate it. And in his words, on a basic package at £6 per month, why make life rubbish for the sake of £80 savings over a year?

The man made sense! And he got is on the property ladder and with a pension pot going when we thought we couldn't manage much.

people's largest outgoings are usually housing and transport. Sounds like you need the second car, so can you look at your housing costs? is it possible to remortgage to a lower rate? Interest rates are rock bottom at the moment, this could save you some real money long term, worth looking into it if you're on a fixed rate.

Secondly, I would look at food spending. You say you use Tesco. would it be possible to do the big shop at Aldi or Lidl instead, once the kids are asleep perhaps? You could save around 30% on groceries, so around £30 a month... which adds up.

Regarding bills, look up water saving strategies (like toilet flush limiters, water saving devices for shower heads, flushing after several wees and not every time, timing showers), and maybe see if there are any energy efficiency grants you could get for the house.

Obviously, you can save £20-35 a month on your phone, so change that as soon as you can

Then, need to maximise income... defo see if you can get anything for your DD, and see what other benefits and credits you are eligible for. Sounds like life is a bit too busy for you to consider a job right now, but when the time is right, Covid has opened up remote working and flexible working, so perhaps there will be something for you in the future. worth keeping an eye out for those opportunities, for future reference. That's assuming there's no possibility of your family relocating somewhere with more job options.

Oh hold on, re: groceries, I think you said you spend £100 a week, not a month... so by using aldi/lidl you could save something like £30 a week, or £120 a month making that change alone

The first thing I would focus on is getting the overdraft paid off.
With risk based pricing you will more than likely be either paying 19.9, 29.9, 39.9 interest.
All banks have to be seen to be helping customers exit high cost credit.
You may be able to negotiate a lower interest- if you have more than 1000 convert it to a loan etc
You use the words £150 overdrawn - is this unarranged? Or do you mean you are going 150 into an arranged overdraft?
If it’s unarranged this May be affecting your credit file

If you need stuff for the house, then look at Freecycle or Trash Nothing. Two of our sofas came from Freecycle; one's a Laura Ashley one! And we've had loads of other stuff too. If you need a new kitchen, then you can often pick up one on eBay at a fraction of the cost.

Also, look at selling on any unwanted items. Ebay is great, even if you don't make a fortune, at least it will help towards something else that you need.

You need to decide what is important. If a holiday is a priority, then you either need to bring in more money or cut back, and there have been lots of suggestions on here.

www.aldi.co.uk/customer-services/delivery

Delivery charge - get organised and you won't need multiple shops (or multiple opportunities to lose more money on extras)

click and collect is cheaper and has lower min spend

overdraft - free or incurring fees? all debt is a service you pay for

council tax - can you get a disability reduction?

Check if you are eligible for warm home discount, cold weather payment etc,

www.turn2us.org.uk/

Some local charities are helping fund things like internet for home schooling etc during lockdown, if you aren't already then register with your local carer support network and find out about any grants or funding you may be eligible for. To do this you will probably have to show full financial budget so DO YOUR SPREADSHEET!

As PP said "In all honesty, people manage on a lot less income than that and can afford reasonably regular treats. I think you need to look carefully at your spending and be honest with yourself. Think about every penny that you are spending because a 'few quid here and there' soon adds up."
You have a phone contract ( presumably 2 years) that means that phone could be costing £1080 !
Your DP ( admittedly when single) brought a brand new car ( presumably prioritising it over eg house deposit as the house is yours). Your debit is through PayPal ( £100's spent online from your previous posts).

NRTFT but starting point has to be to list and analysis your current spending for, say, the last 3 months, to see exactly what you're spending the money on. Work from your bank and credit card statements and list every last item. Then you can see how all the small things add up, such as monthly subscriptions, takeaways, etc. Most bank online systems allow you do a download of transactions which you can easily import into a spreadsheet and then analyse into categories, so it needed take a long time. Then check what you both pay out in cash, i.e. coffees and snacks when out and about, which is another area where people spend far more than they think. Once you know what you're spending the money on, you can make changes to reduce/eliminate some of that spending.

@user1497207191

NRTFT but starting point has to be to list and analysis your current spending for, say, the last 3 months, to see exactly what you're spending the money on. Work from your bank and credit card statements and list every last item. Then you can see how all the small things add up, such as monthly subscriptions, takeaways, etc. Most bank online systems allow you do a download of transactions which you can easily import into a spreadsheet and then analyse into categories, so it needed take a long time. Then check what you both pay out in cash, i.e. coffees and snacks when out and about, which is another area where people spend far more than they think. Once you know what you're spending the money on, you can make changes to reduce/eliminate some of that spending.

Correct and said 15 pages ago. Presume op is on it and if they come back and are prepared to share that, they’ll get some good advice

Anything before that is just guessing

I can hear you saying ‘But I need....’.

You really don’t.

I agree. Many things the OP has mentioned as things she needs are things that others, including those on a higher income, still wouldn’t bother with, even as a treat or luxury e.g. new kitchen, tv subscriptions, regular take-aways, shopping delivered etc. You can do without these, or at least some of them, and if you can’t afford them you ‘need’ to do without them. You won’t save otherwise - it all adds up. Very few people have carefully assessed their outgoings and found they spend less than they thought - it’s pretty much always more! You need to check carefully and be honest with yourself.

You should put it all down on a spreadsheet like my example here

@Littleposh

In all honesty, people manage on a lot less income than that and can afford reasonably regular treats. I think you need to look carefully at your spending and be honest with yourself. Think about every penny that you are spending because a 'few quid here and there' soon adds up

Yes, exactly. It's the small £5 purchases that add up. It's so easy to think "oh, it's only a fiver" but if you do it everyday, that's £50 a week gone in a flash.

As mentioned above, go to MSE Debt Free Wannabe.

Here's a link forums.moneysavingexpert.com/categories/debt-free-wannabe

From what I've read, they're inspirational!

Good luck

I think you are doing well if you manage to keep a tight handle on your budget and just tread water for now. It is tough for now but when your children are in school and things have settled down a bit any work you can get will make life a little easier and pay for some treats or a holiday.

That could be a job in the school day/working from home/ night work at home such as “call centre” type work for example or even the sunday that you mentioned you could work. If you are only part time you are quite likely to be under the tax threshold and so you will keep the vast majority of everything you earn so it should be well worth it.Even a couple of hundred a month will make a big difference added to your disposable income.

Hang on in there.

How about taking on a couple of cleaning jobs during school time, maybe 6-8 hours a week. Saving even £20 a month can make a difference for Christmas or a holiday.

Get rid of Netflix use Prime get yourself a non contract phone or a very cheap contract See if you qualify for a cap on your water DLA for your son should pay for his school meals as it's to pay for his needs Ditch the takeaways Look at new providers for all your utilities Shop at Aldi batchcook and meal plan

And you say you want to get married that costs £130 so do it What you probably want is a " wedding"they are expensive though not so much at the moment

We meal plan and shop according to the meal plan. That way I stick to what we need and it reduces waste (we were terrible for things going off or mouldy in the fridge).
We get our fruit and veg from the market, and meat and other bits from lidl, I have a milkman for milk and bread always fresh twice a week. We spend on average £40 per week total (not sure what other couples spend?).

Some of recipes I follow are for 4 people, so the remaining portions I use for lunches or freeze them for meals later the following week, if we've not got time to cook from fresh (shift work) which is usually all planned out. Definitely saves us money as we do not need top up shopping.