To ask why we struggle with money so much.

[whatismyusername29]

Hi all, probably not the right place but guess posting here for traffic.

I am SAHP. I have two dc with additional needs. My partner works and brings home around £500 a week after tax plus he usually does overtime so can be more. He gets paid monthly so usually around £2000 take home maybe a little more with overtime. . Up until last year he was paid weekly so we have struggled with this transition and making it stretch.

We also get child benefit, I get £30 a week for my son from his father. DS also gets DLA (low rate mobility and middle rate care) and I receive Carers allowance for DS as his needs are quite significant. Despite Dd having additional needs too we do not claim for her yet.

We own our own home. Our mortgage is just a little less than £400 a month on our home worth around £200,000 We do run two cars which is quite a big expense. Our bills tend to be quite high - gas/electric/water. We do spend quite a lot on food. We have some debt (maybe around 2 grand).

We don’t have many luxuries. Haven’t had a holiday in several years, neither of us drink alcohol so that isn’t an added cost.

But why are we skint? Our mortgage is low, we aren’t in a huge amount of debt, don’t have luxuries. We do have subscriptions for Netflix, prime etc but who doesn’t?! Both have phone contracts but again who doesn’t?!

DS’s school lunches are costing me a fortune normally. Around £45 a month but he won’t eat a packed lunch. Dd is younger and gets free lunches in infants.

A holiday (covid allowing) would be nice but how?!

Aibu to think we really shouldn’t struggle so much?!

We are overdrawn by the end of the month always.

Advice? Best ways to save money? How to cut down on food costs.

I appreciate we are in a better position then some. Are bills are paid and we have food but there just isn’t a lot left. I cannot remember the last time I bought clothes for myself!

We need new carpet but how?! Unless we put it on credit but want to avoid that.

We want to get married but not sure how we could possibly avoid it?!

We do have some savings but only around 2 grand. It’s saved for a rainy day - cars going wrong, stuff going wrong in the house etc.

We’ve just spend £700 getting out heating system fixed!

I know many people will tell me to get a job. I want to but that easy with my two and the unsociable hours dp works!

Open excel, your bank accounts and list all your outgoings from a usual month (use November probably as December is always a bit weird).

Then put in your income and reduce the outgoings to suit the income.

Why are people saying to cancel Netflix, it’s about £8 a month it isn’t going to make a difference 😂
You are on a low income, and you have a few children, which is why you’re always skint. I think you’re doing really well on the income you receive and it seems like your family don’t do without so well done, OP.
If you do want a bit of spare cash to pay off debts, save for a holiday etc, I would recommend switching utility providers, go onto a sim only deal when your phone contract is up etc and save the difference.
It’s surprising when you look at your bank statement and see where the money goes. I spent £150 in takeaways in November😓

Posters advising you to pay off the debt with your savings - please don’t do this without making sure it’s the best thing for you. I’ve got some debt and some savings - but my debt is on 0%. Similarly you could be happily making payments on a loan that’s relatively low interest (less than 5%, maybe) and if you paid that off and had no savings for an emergency you’d be stuffed.

Yes, in general it’s good advice but you need to look at your specific situation.

List your full outgoings and people can advise better. But I’d say on your income you’re not doing badly.

£2000 per month would be a salary of about £30k wouldn't it? Which is average as a salary but as a whole household income for a family of 4 it's very low. I only have one child but would still massively struggle on that.

Do you need a landline if you have mobiles?
When the £50 sofa payment ends you could continue to deduct this amount from your account and put it into a savings account.
I sympathise with the water bill. I also live in the south west.

Your mortgage is very low so you should be able to live ok on that income. But sounds as if you want a lifestyle you can't really afford if you're skint every month. You could easily cut out some of that food budget, one of the subscriptions (you really don't need both Prime and Netflix, pick one), and when your phone contracts are up switch to a cheap sim only deal. If you want to keep all that and have holidays then yes you really need to get a job to fund it, even something part time whilst your DC are at school or in the evenings would help.

The cars will be a huge part of your outgoings I'm sure. If you can't get rid of a car, as others have said, make sure you're getting the best deal on all your utilities, and start meal planning if you're not doing so already.

Can you switch to a lower cost supermarket? I find just going to lidl or Aldi twice a month has massively reduced my food bill. I still have to top up at tescos, but I must be saving about 50 quid a month just on that alone.
Write out all your incoming and outgoings, only you can know where its possible to trim. Good luck!

Two cars are needed really.. We live rurally. No decent public transport and he works early and late shifts (sometimes starts at 5am or on a late shift works til the early hours. There’s about 3 buses a day living here! I use my car for dc - hospital apps etc. I’d love to go down to one car though!

Dp bought his car brand new before we met and thankfully has done him well. My car is newish (4 years old when we bought it). Doing okay so far! Fingers crossed. Both are pretty reliable thankfully!

My biggest scrimping advice is to pay your bills as soon as you get paid. Strictly meal plan and do a months worth of shopping and then put everything into a different bank account. If you need more money only allow yourself a certain amount.

The more we have in our accounts the more we seem to spend, so if you really try and scrimp then you will only buy things that are absolutely necessary and you’ll be able to see where the rest of your money is going better.

I would also write down every incoming and outgoings for one month to see where you can cut back/see if you can get a cheaper deal.

I just posted but can't see it!

Unless I'm missing something I think you should be entitled to about £400 UC going off the info you've given.

www.uceplus.co.uk/how-much-will-my-payment-be.html

We used to live off much less many years ago. After rent (london zone 3), family of 3.
What I did (and still do)

1. calculate how much money you can spend daily. At the lowest for us it was about £14 per day.
2. do meal planning. And very sensibly. Priority: meat and veggies. then carbohydrates, then chocolate. Use the 2for1,... offers and put stuff in the freezer
3. to have the feeling of actual shopping I used to put the basket full with things I like, then put them back. Sounds really silly, but this almost shopping worked for me. I still do this with yarn. Haven't ordered any in many months, but many times I comply a nice online basket worth £100-200, marvel at the lovely colors and then close the window :)
4. whatever was left over at the end of the day would go into a sub account. Even if it was 50p.

Thanks all for your advice 💗💗

@toocold54 generally our bills are all paid by direct debit. We do manage to pay our bills they are just quite high!

I appreciate that we are in a better situation than. Some families right now! But it’s just rubbish that we haven’t managed a holiday in about 7 years.. lol! Would love a holiday - once covid is better of course!

We do have subscriptions for Netflix, prime etc but who doesn’t?!
I share a subscription with three other households for Netflix. No TV licence or Prime.

Both have phone contracts but again who doesn’t?!
£16 a month covers myself and my teen, £100 phones bought outright.

@ShanghaiDiva

Do you need a landline if you have mobiles? When the £50 sofa payment ends you could continue to deduct this amount from your account and put it into a savings account. I sympathise with the water bill. I also live in the south west.

Yes landline is needed as signal is a bit hit and miss here so needed unfortunately. 😭

OP.

As others have said. With online banking now, there's no reason to ask 'where does my money go?'. All it takes is a bit of time to sit down and find out.

You only need to add in clothes, Christmas, birthdays, birthday presents for school friend birthdays (maybe not now), hair cuts, school
Shoes, wrapping paper, school photographs, phone case, new blanket for the bed, new duvet cover for the kids, and you've added £££ to a monthly budget.

Your £2k debt could be costing around £100 per month or so too.. that's 5% of your monthly household income which would be a great extra if when you're debt free.

Haven't read the full thread but depending on the disabilities your children have you can apply for something called watersure. It caps your bills at £35 per month regardless of usage I've just don't this due to autistic ds and it saves me £70 per month.

We were in a similar position to you but during lockdown1 I went through everything and managed to reduce our outgoings to the point we feel quite flush now.
Others have said write a list of everything you spend, - not one of the top of your head but a proper list using statements etc. From the list above I can see your missing car insurance, car tax, home insurance and council tax. There’s bound to more. Next go through the list and work out what you can reduce.
Good luck, it can be done, if fact I’m very competitive now about spending less each month.

@kowari

We do have subscriptions for Netflix, prime etc but who doesn’t?! I share a subscription with three other households for Netflix. No TV licence or Prime.

Both have phone contracts but again who doesn’t?!
£16 a month covers myself and my teen, £100 phones bought outright.

We share our Netflix with our in laws 😀 prime is more for deliveries and most are essential especially when leading up to kids birthdays and Christmas 😀

Netflix is the only way we can watch tv upstairs. No antenna 😩

Because you have two kids and one (low) salary?

Yes I was going to suggest the money saving expert budget spreadsheet . It’s very useful .

Start from there .

My mother used to put her money up into tins for electric , rent , life assurance etc so she knew how much she had left to spend and I now replicate that with a car account , bills account etc. And a spending account .

But I think on your income you are actually doing very well tbh .

Have you asked South West Water about a discount due to your child getting DLA? I read about it once and there was a significant saving to be had.

If you dont work why cant you drive him to and from work so you can ditch the second car?

@CrotchBurn but what about the kids?

You should definitely be claiming UC, that's what it's there for - to support families like yours.