To ask how you and OH manage finances?

[Strawberryfelineforever]

Just wondering how to go about organising financial responsibilities when I move in with future husband later this year. I earn about half of what FH earns at the moment but he has more expenses than me eg he has a car to pay off whereas I don't drive. We have no children and he is covering more than I am for the wedding as I earn significantly less. He suggested he could cover rent/mortgage and I could cover the food shop and bills? We didn't talk about what specific bills just yet. We both agreed we would set up a joint account whilst still having our own separate accounts (I think it's important to have your own account as well). Does this sound reasonable? Should I be putting the same amount in the joint account if I earn less? Just wondering if anyone has tips on splitting things and what is fair. Thanks!

@londonscalling that's sad for your friend but it's not our situation. My DP buys stuff all the time, there are always things arriving at the house. I don't want to police him in that but I also don't want to fund it. He can afford it, so it's up to him.

I could buy lots of stuff if I wanted as I earn more than him, but I prefer to save, and go on expensive holidays with my mates or do courses, or pay off my mortgage.

We have different approaches to how we spend our money and that suits us fine. I have no interest in how he spends his and vice versa. That's the way we like it.

@ThornAmongstRoses ok well great that works for you, but if my DP decided he was going to give up his 50k job and go back to college I'd assume he'd worked out a plan to pay for it and what he was going to do after. Same as me - I am planning on going back to uni and getting another masters but to do that I've saved.

I don't want to be financially beholden to someone else. I like knowing I can take care of myself financially. I have since I was 15.

...but if my DP decided he was going to give up his 50k job and go back to college I'd assume he'd worked out a plan to pay for it and what he was going to do after.

Well that’s a very different situation to mine so it’s not comparable.

We put 50% each of our salary into a joint account for mortgage, bills, food and kids activities and clothes.

DH earns double what I do so he puts twice as much in. The rest of my money is for me to spend as I like and I also save a bit. I think it's really important to have your own cash and your own independence. When he earnt x 4 what I did as I was working part time to cover childcare he put proportionally more in. He goes on expensive snow holidays that he needs to fund I go on city breaks that I need to fund. The crunch comes when we need a new big thing like a carpet or a family holiday as we have to find the cash for it. We disagree on holidays unfortunately, I think he views them as a bit of an unnecessary expense whereas they're one of the reasons I'm continuing to earn what I do. It does cause arguments, in hindsight I would have insisted on a joint holiday account to cover this with set amounts going in each month as it's an ongoing source of friction.

We combined our wages and workout out what ratio I earn and what ratio he earns (take home pay), comes out about 40:60 me to him. We then worked out how much we spend on house expenses a month (mortgage, council tax, bills, pet stuff, food, takeaways etc) and I put in 40% and he puts in 60%. I actually have more expenses than him (I have a horse which doesn't cost much less than the mortgage each month!) but that's my decision so we don't take that into account.

We have a joint bank account. We pay all the bills from that account. We discuss big purchases. We are both good about spending within our means so don’t really have to follow a strict budget. We also have a joint savings account. All earnings are shared earnings.

You can also set up separate savings accounts in just your name. Put the same amount in each. That way you each have a protected fund in case the other tries to abscond with the money and you have to resort to the courts to resolve the financial dispute.

All money is our money here. Both salaries go into joint account then some money each month transferred to our own accounts to pay for gifts, nonessential bits etc. It has worked well over the years when I have been at home with dc. We never argue about money.

We have been married for over 40 years but always preferred independent finances.

We decided for me to pay for all the food shopping plus gas/electric bills and DH paid for everything else. We always earned pretty similar.

Worked great for us and still does although we have been mortgage free for 11 years so DH saves most of his money now into a joint savings account. Never had any issues at all but we are both very open about money.

Nowadays I like the sound of each keeping their own account but paying a % each - relevant to salary - into a joint account for bills.