To ask how you and OH manage finances?

[Strawberryfelineforever]

Just wondering how to go about organising financial responsibilities when I move in with future husband later this year. I earn about half of what FH earns at the moment but he has more expenses than me eg he has a car to pay off whereas I don't drive. We have no children and he is covering more than I am for the wedding as I earn significantly less. He suggested he could cover rent/mortgage and I could cover the food shop and bills? We didn't talk about what specific bills just yet. We both agreed we would set up a joint account whilst still having our own separate accounts (I think it's important to have your own account as well). Does this sound reasonable? Should I be putting the same amount in the joint account if I earn less? Just wondering if anyone has tips on splitting things and what is fair. Thanks!

We have no concept of my money and his money it is our money. I find it out that you say he has more outgoing because he has a car and you don’t drive, presumably you drive places together don’t you? So it is your shared car and shared expense.

At the moment we have separate current accounts for historical reasons, but when we lived overseas for a few years we opened a joint account and everything went into one pot. We effectively run our accounts as one pot now, DH puts most of his spends on an Amex for which I am the primary card holder but he maintains a small amount in his current account in case Amex is not accepted.

There is no concept of having equal amounts of spending money we both spent what we want but discuss the larger purchases.

We did the percentage thing (and pay it into a joint account which all the bills come from)

We set it up like that before we had children and when our salaries were much closer. I was very happy with the arrangement then, but since having children I find that he has more disposable income than me and he doesnt spend it how i think he should. We have lots of gadgets.

He earns it
I spend it
We have a joint account and I have my own account which has a certain amount paid in monthly from dh's company.

We have our own accounts and two joint accounts. We get paid into our own accounts and move some money into the 'bills' account (him slightly more than me as he earns more), and an equal amount into the 'funsies' account (this is for meals out, stuff for the baby etc.) What is left in our accounts is ours to spend/save.
Certain bills we share, e.g. mortgage, council tax etc. And certain bills are our own responsibility e.g. We each have a car, he pays for his, I pay for mine. He pays for his phone and I pay for mine.

@Aquamarine1029

You should do whatever you feel comfortable with. In my 24+ year marriage, there is no "your money and my money." All money belongs equally to both of us and who earns more is totally irrelevant. There is no "his car and my car", they are both our cars equally. We have never once had disagreements about money because everything is both of ours equally. To me, that is how a marriage should be, but everyone is entitled to do whatever they wish.

We have this approach. It works well for us

We worked out ratios at the beginning, so started with him putting about 60% into joint account and me 40%. But now I earn the same we both just do 60% of our salaries into joint pot. This covers bills, food, joint activities like holidays and meals out.

Then 40% is for personal spending.. though we often end up putting more into joint account from this for bigger expenditures (e.g renovations, presents for people)

We did contemplate a complete joint pot but in the end we decided that we like having our own individual spending money.

My partner and I worked out our average monthly joint expenses (mortgage, insurance, utilities, food, meals out etc) and then split that between us based on our after take income.

As I earn more that means we contribute ~70/30 into the pot. If we run out of money in a given month, we’ll then top it up in the same proportions.

I would probably include a car in joint expenses if it’s for joint use e.g you go to the supermarket etc together in it.

I’ve found it works really well.

After tax*

Before children, DH and I both paid the same amount into a joint account to cover all bills and expenses. Whatever was left was ours to keep, we earned roughly the same.

Post children, we both pay our salaries into a joint account (DH earns over 3x what I do). Everything comes out of the joint account, including all personal spending. If either of us are spending more than £50 or so, we'll let the other know.

We have various savings pots and save throughout the year for Christmas, holidays, car maintenance, etc. We still have access to personal accounts so at Christmas time, I transfer money to our personal accounts to buy gifts for each other.

I manage the accounts and savings and if we're running low on cash, I simply let DH know not to spend anything.

In your situation, I would be inclined to say that both of you pay your salaries into a joint account with an equal amount of personal spending transferred to your own accounts. You leave enough in the joint account to cover your bills and groceries and then transfer the remainder into your joint savings pots to go towards your wedding, rainy day fund, etc... Obviously this requires a huge amount of trust from both of you but if you're planning on marrying this man, then hopefully you do trust him!

We just put all our money together and share it.

My fiance and I both earn the same amount (or thereabouts he earns about 2k more than me). We both put in the same amount into a joint account that covers all our bills, fun money, food shop etc.

Our wages go into our personal accounts. We have our own saving accounts but we are planning on getting a joint one soon to make life easier. This is savings for our wedding and to do up our house.

Anything left over is our own money. I have roughly £300 fun money each month to spend on whatever. I have no idea where it goes though.

At the moment I'm the sole earner but when we first got together I earned about £10k pa more than DH. We added up all the household outgoings (bills, average spend on groceries and household stuff, pets) and worked out a proportion each that would leave us with roughly the same amount of 'play' money each month. Then both of us would pay the relevant amount into one separate account on pay day. We both had access to the money in that account.

His credit rating was shit, so I had the only credit card, but that was treated as a joint emergency bailout option if we had an unplanned big expense.

Everything into joint account. Joint account pays all living costs including both cars.
Each have exactly equal amount into personal accounts per month for personal expenses - clothes, hair, going out separately.

Across our marriage we’ve both had turns as main earner and it’s stayed the same arrangement throughout. We are income blind and it’s lovely.

Previous marriage was financially abusive hence this as a non negotiable arrangement for me.

We have a joint account into which we both pay a share of all bills (including mortgage and savings). The share is proportionate to our respective incomes. We then keep what remains in our accounts. But we both see all the money we have as joint money - there’s no ‘his’ and ‘mine’, even though we have separate accounts.

Each have separate accounts plus have a joint account, also each have savings accounts.

We each contribute equally to the joint account from which all shared expenses are paid, and each retain our own spending money. DH earns more than me so has more retained, but we both have enough for everything we want & savings besides. Savings get pooled to pay mortgage/use both our ISA allowances.

This works for us because we are both high earners, so neither one of us has at any point (including during my maternity leaves) not been able to contribute equally to all the bills & have plenty left over. Relative to our income we are quite prudent financially.

But the key principals underlying it that make it work are:

1. have a detailed and clearly agreed budget
2. be broadly on the same page about spending patterns/savings goals.
3. each contribute a relative proportion of income that allows each person to have a fair share of any spending money left over.
4. be on the same page about earnings decisions. If I were to consider reducing my working hours to a point where I could no longer financially contribute to the household, I would only take that decision with DH full agreement that he was happy to shoulder the financial burden alone & that it was the best decision for us as a family.

@Aquamarine1029

You should do whatever you feel comfortable with. In my 24+ year marriage, there is no "your money and my money." All money belongs equally to both of us and who earns more is totally irrelevant. There is no "his car and my car", they are both our cars equally. We have never once had disagreements about money because everything is both of ours equally. To me, that is how a marriage should be, but everyone is entitled to do whatever they wish.

Absolutely this in my marriage!

I would suggest:
Put all your income in a joint account. Work out your monthly spend on bills, rent, food, all overheads.
An amount for a joint savings account
An amount to spend individually as ‘disposable’, in your sole accounts. And both have the same.

You are getting married, forming a partnership.

We completely share everything. We have two cars between us, rather than his and my car. We can both access each others online banking (not that we need to) and we kind of shift money about between us as and when we need to. The only time it can get a little awks is buying presents for eachother, but we usually just agree a budget so neither of us goes over the top.

We have our own money. DH has more income than me, so he pays more bills. We are then left with a similar amount to have as our own. We pay the same into an account to save for holidays and house repairs.

DH has (mostly) earned more than me, but since we've been married, all finance has been joint, and I've had full access to all 'his' money (and vice versa).

This works well for us, but it comes with some caveats: we're both naturally frugal, so neither of us irritate the other with our spending. Plus we usually have more coming in than we need, so if one of us does buy something expensive (or pays a big bill without telling the other), the other can still spend as they'd planned. If one of you is a spender and the other a saver, or money is very tight, our approach may well not work.

My dh moved in with me when I was a single mum to 3 , I had 2 accounts , one for my wages plus maintenance which just covered all the bills and one for tax credits which I lived off. When he moved in we decided to keep my account as it was and treat his wages as joint money . It's worked really well , he has never said I'm spending too much of his money and I've never said well I'm keeping a roof over your head ! I can't imagine couples lending each other money or having totally separate personal accounts.

I suggest joint account for all bills, including food etc. Work out totals and pay proportionally to your salary

I would also suggest any loans etc are paid for by the person who has them,

Rev the car if he will be driving you everywhere then that could come from the joint account

Technically dh pays all the bills from his wages and my wages are for saving and treating ourselves with but in our house the money is all joint money. We’ve done this since we got engaged, before we moved in with each other. Dh earned 3 times as much as me for the majority of our relationship. From this year he’s earning approx 7k more than me but we still do our money the same way.

I would not have set bills to take responsibility for as it could be unnecessarily complicated should the price of some things change. Also if he "pays the mortgage" that's a dangerous mindset to get into in case you ever split. If you're paying for food and he has Tesco finest taste whilst you're more of a redmere farm kinda girl it could lead to conflict too.

I would.
Keep your own accounts, get wages paid into them and have a joint account for bills. Keep a budget for those bills and include payments to a small monthly joint savings account.
Once you have a total decide between yourselves how to split the payments. A few different options above, I don't think it matters if you have different amounts left over. Remind him (and yourself) during the process that if you have kids it will change completely in order to be fair to whoever takes leave etc.

How exciting to be taking this step. Good luck!

DH and I earn similar amounts, so it is easier. We have our own accounts but put in an agreed matching amount into a housekeeping account, and an agreed matching amount into our joint savings. What is left, is ours to do what we like with. He never questions me and I never question him.