AIBU in thinking I can afford to move to Dubai?

[Partygirl2021]

I’m a single mum of a 15 month old, divorce should be finalised in a couple of months. It was always my dream to move abroad and Dubai is my first choice. My ex always refused to relocate. I earn £46k in London in a resourcing job. AIB unrealistic in thinking I could afford to live there? I know accommodation and school fees are high but I would love anyone’s experience.

Surprised no one's mentioned Porta Potties yet.

That's what they think of women.

DH works a lot in Dubai (pre covid) he always comments that it's great but not a safe place for women of any nationality and they definitely aren't treated as equals.

I'm Not sure what kind of expat lifestyle you can have with a toddler tbh

Also doesn't your ex have to agree to it?

Why would you want to live in a country like that? You can’t just take a child away from the father he has as many rights as you do to see the child

@Yousef123

MY parents lived in Dubai for 30-35 years? And I’m pleased to tell you there is NO place nicer.

What generation are your parents from? It’s like saying I bought a house in London 30 years ago. I’m sure you did the prices were a lot cheaper..compared to today.

My brother has been living in Dubai for about 10 years, he’s coming home in the next few months as the cost of health care and school fees is just too much. He says it was great when he was single/ young couple but for a family bit so much. The economy out there isn’t great either so not as many jobs around as there used to be and the employment laws are not very good. He has lost his job a couple of times basically because he was too expensive, they used him to get new businesses set up then once they were up and running they ditched him. It is a fabulous place but I don’t think I would want to be heading over there with a young child.

Surprised no one's mentioned Porta Potties yet

That's what they think of women

Intrigued?
I want to know but simultaneously don't want to know lol
I remember a thread on Dubai a while back, can't find it now but someone was saying how the women even have their own carriage, like it's a good thing, to keep you safe, treat you right
Me fuck no sounds too much like segregation to me!
Is that even a thing, or was the poster spouting bollocks?

And 100k is only 20k

The only people I know who've been able to properly make it work there are those who's company is paying for school fees, accommodation and company car. I don't think these jobs are easy to come by. For example, one was an emirates pilot, the other was the COO for a travel company. But I do know people on your salary who've done a year or so and then come back, you can still have it on your CV.

I knew there would be a kid of lists saying about OP taking child abroad presumably these people also think her ex should live close and not move anywhere too? Or is this just classic let’s shit on an ambitious woman because she happens to have a child. I don’t know anything about it but hope you can pursue it :-)

ton of posts
Typing in bath

I visit Dubai 3-4 times a year and have never felt unsafe or experienced sexism.

One of my ex colleagues works over there. When I worked with him he earned about 35k a year, I don’t know what salary he is on, but he has the exact same job title and can afford a gorgeous townhouse, 2 kids in international (private) school, a pt maid / nanny, nice car and plenty of holidays. There’s no way you could afford that on 35k here!

Yes groceries are more expensive, but I don’t think they seem more expensive than in the USA, for example.

Yes of course no woman should strike out and take a risk for herself and her kid!

Sure men fuck off with the army, or drag their desperate housewives from pillar to post, or just disappear.

But this woman! Wont she think of the father! The community! The family! You guys are right. She should just stay in her semi on the off chance the father sees the daughter once a month. Because in Dubai they have housemaids.

My friends lived in Dubai for a while, I went to visit.

It's a godawful, soulless place. The epitome of the phrase more money than sense.

It's built on modern slavery and the distribution of wealth is shockingly immoral.

There is fuck all to do unless you like shopping malls and buying designer shit. Food and drink is ridiculously expensive.

I love travel and it's the worst place I've ever been, hands down.

My daughter’s maid lived in, had her medical and dental covered by and sent most of her salary home to the Philippines- where it put her two children through high school, as well as supporting her husband and parents. She was pleased to be in Dubai. Trafficked people are all over the world sadly, including the UK.

@goody2shooz

My daughter’s maid lived in, had her medical and dental covered by and sent most of her salary home to the Philippines- where it put her two children through high school, as well as supporting her husband and parents. She was pleased to be in Dubai. Trafficked people are all over the world sadly, including the UK.

Did she have a bedroom? Did she keep her own passport? Did she have a return plane ticket?

Hi. I lived in Dubai for many years. Went out there single in 2000. Got married and divorced there and moved back to UK in 2019.

Its a great place to live if you are in a secure well paid job. I am professionally qualified and and did consulting and finance work out there. Salaries are higher than UK but cost of living is also very high. Supermarket shopping is v expensive.

I was a single parent last few years and relied heavily on my nanny as schools are typically 730am until 230pm so you need cover til you finish work. Nobody goes home from work at 5pm. It is very much a work hard and play hard mentality.

I had colleagues who came to the country as single parents and it is tough to sponsor your child. You really need written consent from the father. Even then you have to go and plead your case to immigration. They don't make it easy. Visas are renewed every 2 or 3 years usually. You must be in work to sponsor.

So yes Dubai can be nice. But you will work long hours, spend a lot of money and rely on nursery or nanny a lot. Go and visit and make sure you have a secure job in place before making a move.

@WTAFIhavelosttheferret I'm not sure why you're calling people stupid!

That wasn't me- I quoted a previous post by NoOneOwnsTheRainbow that said God the amount of PPs who have no idea that when you move to Dubai/Singapore/etc you get paid MORE than you would in the UK to do the same job.

You can't quote if the previous post quoted and so I followed the etiquette of cut and bold.

Of course there are pavements, it’s not a 3rd world country out in the middle of nowhere. There are lots of open spaces to go for walks like parks etc. It’s not all about the shopping malls.

Have they moved Dubai?
When did it become halfway round the world?

It’s very very expensive

@Scoobydoobydo

Have they moved Dubai? When did it become halfway round the world?

I'm so glad someone finally said it!

My husband has spent a lot of time in Dubai and Abu Dhabi with work, I've joined him on a few occasions.
Both cities have some lovely places, prefer Abu Dhabi (Yas Island more so), but would i live there? Hell no.
But its your life, you'll need more than £45k pet year, a lot more.

@Kitty2019 I said the same to the OP a few pages back about sponsoring your child as a single mum. I lived out in Qatar and it was a nightmare for that there too.

I would never live out there as a single mum again.

Have they moved Dubai? When did it become halfway round the world?

Well surely that depends on where you live lol

@Chilver

Women's Rights, Human Rights?

This! I was offered a job there a few years ago (head hunted) and turned it down. As a single female living there, I wouldn't have felt protected in the eyes of the law.