AIBU in thinking I can afford to move to Dubai?

[Partygirl2021]

I’m a single mum of a 15 month old, divorce should be finalised in a couple of months. It was always my dream to move abroad and Dubai is my first choice. My ex always refused to relocate. I earn £46k in London in a resourcing job. AIB unrealistic in thinking I could afford to live there? I know accommodation and school fees are high but I would love anyone’s experience.

it was just an example of something that was a comparable price.
And by "it", I meant my mention of a CS not your mention of NICU @Cheongfan

I lived in the UAE for 8 years and loved it!
The advice I always gave to family or friends who thought about moving there us that it needs careful planning. First, have a look at dubizzle.com or propertyfinder.ae so you can familiarise yourself with (very high) rental prices. Then, research how much your nursery/school fees are going to be ( if your employer isn't paying for it), your car lease and also your electricity and water bills (very high). The big supermarket chains are quite expensive as well, there are no Aldi or Lidl supermarkets to keep costs down.
Living to Dubai will mean most social activities will be done indoors, and this comes at a cost.
When I lived there, you had to pay your yearly rent upfront in 1 or 2 cheques, so that was a big chunk of money you have to have before moving there.
Yes, the culture is different, but if you are open-minded, you will love it. I never had a problem "as a woman", but I was very respectful of the culture. DM me if you'd like more info, I'm happy to help!

My brother and family live there it's crazy expensive. Small example £3 tub of strawberries here costs £10. If you have children you need a lot for education, health insurance etc. I've know many going out but gone back because the quality of life was low then here due to finances.

My niece lives in Dubai . She arrived as a single young woman working for Emirates and stayed on after she married. She has two children one still at an excellent nursery and one at the international school. She has always had nice accommodation and enjoyed a reasonable social life. Now that child No2 is about to go to school they are considering returning to the west. (They tried once before but returned to Dubai) This time they have bought a house near ber mother. I would say your child is at an ideal age to go to to Dubai. Childcare is plentiful and live in is a definite option. Consider a two year Vvisa renewable for another three. There are many jobs available for smart well educated women. Talk to some agencies who specialise in recruiting ex pats. They can usually help with a package of support if you meet their needs. Dubai is full of people like you. Good luck.

When you say Dubai, do tmyou mean the emirate or the UAE?

I used to live in Sharjah.

I wouldnt recommend UAE to anyone let alone a lone female.

Schools are very expensive and rents are paid a year in advance.

I thought it was a shithole if im honest.

@NoOneOwnsTheRainbow

I apologize for misreading your post and thinking you'd costed up Singapore. The misattribution was corrected in the next post as soon as I realized.

God the amount of PPs who have no idea that when you move to Dubai/Singapore/etc you get paid MORE than you would in the UK to do the same job. hmm I wonder if people are really this thick or if they have to make an effort to come up with these silly naysays.

You called people dense for talking about the OP's current salary. It is fundamentally relevant for the reasons described. I'm not a naysayer, I'm giving the information OP needs to answer her question.

I'm glad you know about salary packages in your/your husband's industry. I think you missed that I live in the UAE. I've been here for five years.

From my job I have awareness of the packages offered over a range of different industries. There is no one standard - it varies widely. I also am anal about budgeting (I YNAB for anyone who knows it). I know how much it costs to live here and what of those costs can realistically be reduced. The OP would need to double her UK gross realistically. I don't know enough about what she does to be able to comment if that's possible but it's not likely in most of the industries I know. Maybe if she is in a high demand area and is underpaid in the UK.

The point on NICU is relevant because the OP may not well have family medical insurance. It's not a legal obligation to prove this in Dubai (it is in Abu Dhabi) and not all employers do. Great that you would have had it but it's one of the things that is being dropped as part of cost cutting. Things like family flights have already gone in all but the best packages. At the salary the OP would be looking for, I would say most employers probably do still offer but you only have to go two job grades below mine at my international company for it not to be paid (and I am not low paid in anyone's book).

I’ve had a few friends move there. Men got work easy, women not so much. They are still a very traditional country. Not sure how well you’ll get on as a single mum there. Very different culturally to here. Also very different to live there then to go on holiday. Everyone I know who have moved there we’re back within 2 years and very happy to be back, reason being the lack of employment opportunities for the female half of the couple. I do know a couple that moved there in 2019 with 2 kids. But it was for his job and meant she could be a SHM. So not same situation as you would be in. It’s working well for them as they can rent their house here so she has some pocket money if her own. It’s also never going to be a permanent move just 5 years.

Hi op,

You can’t take a child out of the country without the dads consent. You need to apply for sole custody. In order for you to move you need to show proof of accommodation, school placement, funds to live off, and you need a job offer to qualify for a work visa too. I visit every year to watch the Grand Prix and I really can’t tolerate it for more than 3 days max! It’s a very fast paced lifestyle and whilst glamorous and not doable on a £50k. A glass of wine is about £20! Do you speak Arabic? Does your child?

@Greenmarmalade - not true. Weather in Dubai is delightful for almost 6 months of the year. And there are plenty of pavements! My daughter has lived in Dubai for 10 years, as a single and got married to a local. Now with children she misses the uk weather a LOT . Like anywhere it depends where you live - and there’s always the beaches as many nice parks etc. and loads of stuff to do with children. Obv covid is an issue but you can pay for a vaccine - either Pfizer or Sinopharm. You will need a car I’d say, wherever you live in Dubai. Rents are coming down, but schools/nursery etc aren’t cheap. It all depends on the package from your employer really.

God the amount of PPs who have no idea that when you move to Dubai/Singapore/etc you get paid MORE than you would in the UK to do the same job. hmm I wonder if people are really this thick or if they have to make an effort to come up with these silly naysay

Imagine being so thick you don't understand that getting paid more isn't worth anything when the cost of living is as high or higher, relative to your income?

Your visa will only be granted fully once your HIV and TB tests come back as negative.

Not sure on legalities of taking his child to live abroad, do you have to get his permission, or have i watched too many films?

MY parents lived in Dubai for 30-35 years? And I’m pleased to tell you there is NO place nicer.

I have lived in Dubai for 20+ years and would agree that it is expensive. There are plenty of single mothers but be aware that you won't have any family support. That said it's a great place to raise children and the schools are very good but the fees are AED 45,000 plus for primary and AED 80,000 plus for secondary, then AED 100,000 for a small house. Add on more expensive food, car and as a single parent you would need a helper (AED 3,500 a month plus sponsorship)to collect your child from school, as primary finishes at 2.30ish, medical insurance for you, your child and your helper, and so the list goes on. I think you would be better off in the UK without the stress of paying for education and health and putting your salary towards a mortgage and pension rather than wasted on rent. The job market is pretty bad at the moment too. I can understand that people are negative about the disparities in the labour market here, but remember everyone is here by choice.

But you can’t make this decision based on your current salary in London. You need to make it based on what salary you’d get in Dubai if you actually secured a job that was also going to pay for education for your child?

Everyone is here by choice apart from those forced, sold and trafficked there to be servants or "helpers" it doesn't take a lot to google how prevalent this is in Dubai and the UAE as a whole.

And I’m pleased to tell you there is NO place nicer

The servants that make it so nice for you would disagree. As would the vast majority of other people.
I can only assume someone who thinks Dubai the nicest place in the world has never been anywhere except Dubai. Nothing else makes sense.

@August1980

Hi op,

You can’t take a child out of the country without the dads consent. You need to apply for sole custody. In order for you to move you need to show proof of accommodation, school placement, funds to live off, and you need a job offer to qualify for a work visa too. I visit every year to watch the Grand Prix and I really can’t tolerate it for more than 3 days max! It’s a very fast paced lifestyle and whilst glamorous and not doable on a £50k. A glass of wine is about £20! Do you speak Arabic? Does your child?

Whilst its always good to at least attempt to learn the native language, why does it matter if she or her child speaks Arabic?

I have read too many scary stories of people moving there and finding themselves in prison when they have did nothing wrong. Read about people's experiences via Detained In Dubai. My cousins husband was one of them, she had to grab her passport and fly home immediately and then fought hard for his release but he lost a fortune and it was a really scary time for them both. It is one place I wouldn't even consider for a holiday with my children never mind take them to live. Could you afford it..no idea im just concerned for you as a single woman out there with a child.

@Macieb

I have read too many scary stories of people moving there and finding themselves in prison when they have did nothing wrong. Read about people's experiences via Detained In Dubai. My cousins husband was one of them, she had to grab her passport and fly home immediately and then fought hard for his release but he lost a fortune and it was a really scary time for them both. It is one place I wouldn't even consider for a holiday with my children never mind take them to live. Could you afford it..no idea im just concerned for you as a single woman out there with a child.

What was he accused of?

Have you got a job there ? A work visa ? Friends there ?

Sounds to me like you want to get as far from your ex as possible and hack him off, to be honest.

I’m really sorry but a single mum in Dubai? Not in a million years.

Maybe to see if that’s their heritage.

@threatmatrix

I’m really sorry but a single mum in Dubai? Not in a million years.

Why not?

Your question doesn’t translate. What you earn in London isn’t what you would be earning there so you need the going rate for your role in Dubai. And to consider how competitive the market is.

You would obviously have a LOT of outgoings.

Also bear in mind it is not culturally acceptable to be a single mum out there. You need to explore how viable life as a single mum. What barriers would you encounter etc.

My husband earns a 6 figure salary. If he earns the same out there it’s just viable. But only just.