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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"What? You?!" Sneery Teen

360 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/01/2021 22:25

He is 15 and literally NOTHING existed in the world until he heard of it, which I am sure he is not alone in.

He is into musical theatre. Goes on and on about various musicals he has found and likes. Ok, no problem there except he does it in a very sneery way as if I coudlnt possibly know about these things but I generally let it go.

When I was younger I planned to go into acting and part of my unofficial training when I was waiting to go to drama school was being trained in theatre production. There is a really good theatre nearish to me and I did some am-dram and got a lot of training in sound for stage productions and I really loved it. I decided that I would rather do sound than acting. Then life happened and I didnt go to school and blah blah but I did still do sound for am dram for a few years.

Last night I get "You probably wont have heard of it but there is this great musical called Blood Brothers which has great songs" and I said "yeah I know, they are good". "Oh you've heard of it?" and it just put my back up. So I said "Of course. Its been around for years and is very well known. I did the sound on it when it was on at X theatre about 20 years ago"

That was when I got "What? You?!" in an incredulous disbelieving sneery way. "You dont seem to me to be someone who could do that" And I got really annoyed and did shout that yes believe it or not I do actually know things, that I did have a life that didnt involve being a mother and to not look down his fucking nose at me. Oh and by the way, no he doesnt fucking know it all. I then asked him a few technical questions "do you know how to....." which he didnt and I could say "Well I do, so...." and he bogged off upstairs!

AIBU to think that sometimes it is justified to give them a smack round the earhole, because I have had the most incredible urge to do just that ever since.

OP posts:
MrDarcysMa · 25/01/2021 11:45

Op I (embarrassingly) used to speak to my mum a bit like this when I was younger. I saw her as a bit of an annoying old fussy doormat.

I honestly think if she had ever turned around to me and said 'yeah you might think I'm a dinosaur and that's fine but don't be so fucking rude and unpleasant all the time' I would have instantly stopped.

CarpeVitam · 25/01/2021 12:16

@BornIn78

This thread is hilarious. Grin

It takes me back to when DS was 14, DH and I were discussing an article in the paper (feminism related) and DH said something about mansplaining...

To which DS turned to me and said “so, mum, mansplaining is when....”

🤣🤣🤣
Royalbloo · 25/01/2021 16:52

I think I'd record him and explain why it upsets you.

I'd also cover the fridge with photos of you doing cool stuff when you were younger. And certificates for ALL the things you've ever done!

OhioOhioOhio · 25/01/2021 17:01

MrDarcysMa

I am so using that.

MasterBeth · 25/01/2021 17:10

I find this story hugely problematic, not least the fact that you son calls you a “fucking bitch.” That’s grotesque and needs to be dealt with before you start worrying about his knowledge of musical theatre.

ThatIsNotMyUsername · 25/01/2021 17:13

Yes - there’s no way I’d let that lie.

MasterBeth · 25/01/2021 17:16

@Sethy38

* Also yes, especially given you're a single parent, I suspect there's a big dollop of sexism in there, that he may or may not grow out of. *

Sexism? Highly unlikely given his mother is a single parent so he would have seen over many years his mother do everything and anything a man can. Added to which, sexism really is not prevalent amongst teens. I have worked extensively with this age a group.

Great news, everyone! Sexism is over!
Whenigrowupiwanttobea · 25/01/2021 17:40

Bit unrelated but my 13 year old is studying medieval medicine and asked me what it was like to nurse patients with Cholera??? No I was not part of Flo Nightingale's little band!!!!!

LisaD76 · 25/01/2021 17:47

My daughter was singing flowers in the shower, when she got out I asked where she had heard it.... she honestly thought she had made it up (she only knew I line or so) and was flabbergasted when I said it was a popular dance song. A year or so on and it’s in the charts again.... has also happened with songs from popular modern artists, she goes on about a song, I have a listen and then she flounces off in a huff when I say it was first released when I was young.

RootyT00t · 25/01/2021 17:55

God he sounds annoying.

ERFFER · 25/01/2021 17:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lweji · 25/01/2021 18:01

I don't get being competitive about things like this, or doing anything other than laughing it off.
DS(16) and I often end up teasing each other and laughing about it. Better than huffs and puffs and name calling.
And yes, he likes to see what reaction he gets from me. He says Greenday are horrible, but then shows me songs he likes and I can see that he is actually pleased if I (kind of) like them.

Dreamscomingtrue · 25/01/2021 18:05

My son discovered the Monkees when he was about 12 in the 90’s.
Told me about this new programme on tv and how great this new band were. I said yes I know, I grew up with them in the late 60’s, they were one of my favourite bands and I saw them at Wembley. I’m sure he didn’t believe me and thought that I was making it up! It was nice to know that we enjoyed the same music tough.

Lweji · 25/01/2021 18:08

@AuntyMabelandPippin

I can remember telling mine at least once each, 'Do you know exactly how horrible you sound talking to me like that? Go upstairs and have a think about how you'd like it if I spoke to you in that tone.'

They're extremely good lads now, and have as many female friends as male.

I've done the same maybe a couple of times when DS has crossed a line, not even name calling. Just attitude.

I made it very clear that I could talk to him like that too, but that both of us are happier if none of us does.

CecilyP · 25/01/2021 18:11

Bit unrelated but my 13 year old is studying medieval medicine and asked me what it was like to nurse patients with Cholera??? No I was not part of Flo Nightingale's little band!!!!!

But you could have nursed cholera sufferers if you had worked in a third world country. It has not been eradicated throughout the whole world!

HippoOnMyRoofEatingCake · 25/01/2021 18:11

Getting really annoyed and shouting "don't look down your fucking nose at me. No you don't fucking know it all" and then trying to one-up him by quizzing him... Well that all sounds like a terrible response. You're just teaching him to grow up from a sneery teenager into an angry/aggressive adult.

Phoenixrising1 · 25/01/2021 18:13

A few years ago DS and I were on a train full of teenagers going to the Reading Festival, one of them was wearing a Nirvana tshirt. I told DS I saw Nirvana at Reading, the look of horror mixed with disbelief. And as I don't have a selfie to prove it it didn't happen!

amispeakingenglish · 25/01/2021 18:17

Footle

Sorry had to do this by screenshot. Ironically I'm very old and still can't do links.

This, me too, I have problems with all tech.

You are not alone, how do people get the other posters name in dark so it links to their email & lets them know???

amispeakingenglish · 25/01/2021 18:18

Footle

forgot to say, I have seen that before LOL.....

Lweji · 25/01/2021 18:20

@amispeakingenglish
@ amispeakingenglish (no space)

also amispeakingenglish (no email, also used to quote)
amispeakingenglish (no spaces)

rtft - Read The Fucking Thread

HTH
("Hope that helps" or "Happy to help")

CharlieFarnsbarns123 · 25/01/2021 18:21

To slightly mis-quote Mark Twain

"When I was 15 my Mum knew absolutely nothing. It was amazing how much she had learned by the time I was 21".

CecilyP · 25/01/2021 18:21

I wonder what on Earth has given him the thought that you had no aspirations? You mayve done this by accident and are now annoyed with him AND yourself.

Probably because OP never even mentioned it despite his interest in musical theatre. I'd have thought it would have come up before now. Different than if he spent all his spare time playing football! It's very likely that when things have calmed down, he'll be bigging up OP to all his theatre mates when he tells them she did indeed train in theatre production. It's hardly the sort of thing you'd make up!

Fatredwitch · 25/01/2021 18:23

15 seems to be the age when boys can become fairly vile. (Girls seem to start earlier.) My grandson became very rude, around that age, to his parents - particularly his mum, whom he used to reduce to tears and despair. By 17, he had grown out of it. Now he is a lovely man and is respectful to women, which you wouldn't have predicted if you had seen the rows he had with his mum at 15.

My theory is that adolescents becoming unbearable is nature's way of making it possible for you to set them free. How could you bear this adorable child to leave home, you think when they are small. After a few years with a teenager, you think that you can maybe bear it after all.

Lweji · 25/01/2021 18:24

Links: copy from top of browser, or, on phone, select function or button to share, then copy.

Paste on MN. All done.

Paste: right click on mouse and choose paste. Control+V on keyboard. On phone, click on window and choose paste.

amispeakingenglish · 25/01/2021 18:36

@Lweji still not black?

Thanks anyway.

Someone thought my name was racist, but it comes from when they were younger and didn't listen to me and I would say........ Not my idea, it was something that was around when I was young.