"What? You?!" Sneery Teen

[PyongyangKipperbang]

He is 15 and literally NOTHING existed in the world until he heard of it, which I am sure he is not alone in.

He is into musical theatre. Goes on and on about various musicals he has found and likes. Ok, no problem there except he does it in a very sneery way as if I coudlnt possibly know about these things but I generally let it go.

When I was younger I planned to go into acting and part of my unofficial training when I was waiting to go to drama school was being trained in theatre production. There is a really good theatre nearish to me and I did some am-dram and got a lot of training in sound for stage productions and I really loved it. I decided that I would rather do sound than acting. Then life happened and I didnt go to school and blah blah but I did still do sound for am dram for a few years.

Last night I get "You probably wont have heard of it but there is this great musical called Blood Brothers which has great songs" and I said "yeah I know, they are good". "Oh you've heard of it?" and it just put my back up. So I said "Of course. Its been around for years and is very well known. I did the sound on it when it was on at X theatre about 20 years ago"

That was when I got "What? You?!" in an incredulous disbelieving sneery way. "You dont seem to me to be someone who could do that" And I got really annoyed and did shout that yes believe it or not I do actually know things, that I did have a life that didnt involve being a mother and to not look down his fucking nose at me. Oh and by the way, no he doesnt fucking know it all. I then asked him a few technical questions "do you know how to....." which he didnt and I could say "Well I do, so...." and he bogged off upstairs!

AIBU to think that sometimes it is justified to give them a smack round the earhole, because I have had the most incredible urge to do just that ever since.

YABU because it's funny when they do this. They reinvent the world. I remember doing it to my dad when he tried patiently to explain to me that some of the amazing music I was listening to were cover versions of songs from his youth.

It's fine that he thinks you are too ancient to have done anything interesting ever, and that you can't possibly ave heard of the things he's discovered. It's a phase they go through. Just grin and when he says, 'What? You?' just say, "Yes, ancient old me." He'll grow out of it. Not worth getting upset over.

I hear you! Dh sent me this tweet the other day.

My ds knows more than I do about absolutely everything...apparently

[quote PyongyangKipperbang]@Narniacalling

I honestly wouldnt have said it to my parents, I would have thought it (and did...often!) but I wouldnt have said it. But then there was the real possibility of consequences. The sort that hurt. Not in an abusive way but a slap round the chops for being fucking rude would have happened and in all honesty, if I had said some of the things I thought, I would have deserved it.[/quote]
I agree I wouldn't have dared be so rude.

So maybe that's you're answer. He can be a know it all little arse. But he needs to have manners and respect. How he's speaking to you isn't respectful. Unfortunately having to be polite and respectfully to people is an important part of adulthood. So if he thinks he so grown up he can have this bit of being an adult.

YANBU to remind him you know things. But honestly he shouldn't be so rude at this age he can do better.

*Yes it was more drawn out than that, and comes on the back of him being an arsehole for the last few weeks. He tends to do this every so often, and seems to be trying to Alpha over me as I am the only adult in the house. There is a definite trend of trying to put me down and assert his superiority over me.

I am normally quite controlled about it, but the incredulity of his reaction, that I couldnt possibly know something like that was what put my back up. I am human, shoot me.*

I'm sorry, @PyongyangKipperbang, it was a genuine question. I get how know it all duckers teenagers can be. Hopefully on reflection he may decide it's an interest you can share. It may take a few years.

I can't find it now, but there's a picture somewhere of Barack Obama's kids giving him the contemptuous teenage look as he addresses the nation that elected him the country's first black president.

Teenage scorn knows no limits. Laugh it off. They're children in nearly adult bodies.

And no, do not deal with it by hitting them in the face. I know you wouldn't, but you mention your parents and deserving it, and no you didn't. It was wrong then and it's wrong now. Teenagers can be twats but that's not the way to help them grow out of it. You're supposed to be wiser.

Every day DH and I thank the Goddess for Game of Thrones because if it wasn't for GOT we wouldn't be able to look at each other after DS 15 trumped in with some fucking nonsense and say 'You know nothing Jon Snow'. So we get to have a laugh and not get pissed off with him, and move on.

All parents are Jon Snow and it sucks. Teenagers are know it all dicks.

Aaah interesting. You weren’t unreasonable in the way you reacted, he sounds quite rude and dismissive to me

Funnily enough I have the opposite experience with my mum sneering and being surprised at the things l know. E.g. l started feeling ill at the start of a bank holiday weekend, my fiancé and l both agree l had X. I mention this to my mum, she openly laughed said what makes you think that, shouldn’t you go to the GP and get a diagnosis?! Laughing like we are a pair of malingering idiots. Well, l have a 1st class honours degree in nursing and my fiancé and l have over 30 years experience between us. So we’ve picked up a couple of things My mum for clarity has no healthcare experience or qualifications

Sounds like a typical teenager and YANBU.

My teen DS tried to school me in feminism the other month after doing some school work. This is after me talking about issues affecting women and providing a female slant on things for years. He’s always made jokes out of it but recently declared I know nothing and therefore am not actually a Proper feminist. Thanks DS

Reminded me of the (possibly apocryphal) quote from Mark Twain: "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

@icanboogieboogiewoogie OP wasn’t trying to humiliate her son she lost her temper at his disrespect and put him in his place. OP good for you, I’d have done the same.

I once tried to tell my mother in 1984 about this amazing new singer called David Bowie! And re a pp: I am a lone parent and my dd tells me I have no friends. I also enjoy being informed about feminism by my dd.

Teenage boys at 15 start competing for the top spot. They all do it. It’s painful watching my 16 year old stepson do it at the moment. 🙈 He’s such a knobber, just butting heads with his dad constantly. He doesn’t do it with me at all because I am academically’above’ him. 🙄 I’ve got two older boys so been here before.
Girls start at 13 and it’s more “I hate you” and slamming of doors

I think your response is totally reasonable.

I have similar from DD 15 like its amazing you got into Cambridge University as you are so stupid followed by was it a lot easier in your day? Then when I give her the look she adds I was only joking and I wasn't meaning to be rude.

I have to point out no it wasn't easier and I am not stupid. DS is 14 and really polite. Though now she keeps asking my advice so its starting to improve.

On the other hand she seems to think I'm an expert on teenage fashion advice and hairdye neither of which I know anything about.

Boys should always be reprimanded when talking down to their female relatives, in my opinion. Would do the same with my son if he said something like that.

Pretty much all 15 year olds are dickheads. I know I was He'll come out the other side of it and appreciate the stuff you know that he doesn't. It will just take a bit of time.

DS1 is 30 and he was like this too, but he wasnt anywhere near as rude. There was definitely the butting heads thing but he wasnt as foul as DS2 is being. I suspect because at the time there was an adult male in the house so he knew his limits but DS2 is about the same size as me and in a physical fight would probably beat me. I dont think he would ever get physical, and I certainly wouldnt, but it gives him added confidence to shout and be verbally abusive.

The girls were a different kind of arsehole! It very much was slamming doors and OTT reactions to the tiniest things. DD2 is now 23 and a working professional with her own place and more money than me, she was a right pain in the arse when she was 15!

Kipper.....you need this tea towel.

I particularly enjoy it when my 17-year-old niece tries to tell 41-year-old me about feminism.

In saying that, I was a massive dick as a teenager, so what goes around, comes around, neh?

Blood Brothers? Blood Brothers?! Blood Brothers is so mainstream it’s on the GCSE English literature set text list for AQA (the most popular exam board for eng lit).

Did you actually word it like that? And use that language? If so then it’s probably no surprise why he talks to you like that, or where he’s learned it from.

I don't think this is even the only time it happened

Pyon, I think you're right about the alpha male thing, btw- a close friend of mine had exactly the same issue. Fortunately, he grew out of it in a year or two, but she had to enlist his father's help. Is hs dad on the scene at all- could you talk to him?

I don't think you handled that well OP. You are after all the adult.
It's not a competition.