About friends buying goods during covid?

[MozzchopsThirty]

I've had covid for over a week now, been in with 3 dcs, 2 of whom have also tested positive

A few friends have said 'if you need anything just let me know' and I've asked for a few bits.

My friend bought me £6 worth of stuff and said 'the receipt is in the bag can you put it in my account'
My other friend called over last night and I asked if she could bring some crisps & popcorn and she also said it was about £4 the receipt is in the bag

I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend (and I'm not well off, single parent nhs worker)
If it was a £20 shop upwards that would be different

Maybe I'm wrong, AIBU?

Sibling actually has a gross income 50% higher than mine, with no dependents, just lives differently.

This is so the wrong way around. If a friend went to the shops for me - it would be more likely that I’d be giving them a tenner for £6 worth of shopping.
I did shopping for people shielding during the first lockdown - and it was stressful. It’s not like getting your own shopping - you get paralysed with indescison when you have to sub something etc.

@moanieleminx

Rounding up is an excellent point

I did some shopping for my fried who literally paid me £7.76 or whatever but to the penny which I think is rude

I had tondrive to tesco to get her stuff too I wasn't expecting to make a huge profit but if that had been me I'd have rounded it up to a tenner

Blimey, I’ve seen it all now. First, you’re a stingy cow if you expect to be paid back for shopping that you pick up for someone. And then, to top it off, you’re a stingy fucker if you pay them back the correct amount rather than rounding it up! And then someone else further up thread with the £20 limit and widening network of friends so that anything under £20 is essentially a free shop.

Am just glad that the people I know irl are normal. Everyone asks what they owe and no one would have a problem with paying. And we all do thoughtful things for each other which don’t involve money changing hands - as it’s nice to surprise people if and when funds allow.

And then someone else further up thread with the £20 limit and widening network of friends so that anything under £20 is essentially a free shop.

I took the initial post as a joke about the £20 limit and my response was a joke in return, @Furries. Which was pretty obvious when read in conjunction with my other posts on here!

This is exactly how the Op, poor single parent affords the nice holidays, she gets her friends to pay for everything else her food shopping.

Yeah. The number of people who just don't get it, or apparently have comprehension issues is bonkers indeed

Yeah. You, for one.

@Fufumuji

Yeah. The number of people who just don't get it, or apparently have comprehension issues is bonkers indeed

Yeah. You, for one.

Nope! Actually, you're wrong.

Clearly you're another entitled CF chipping in!

You appeared to be agreeing with an epic cheeky fucker, if you weren't you should probably be clearer.

I've been very clear throughout the thread.

apparently not.

I can’t seem to quote so can’t reply to individual people, but I’m not changing the narrative I’m asking a question! I’ve read all the OP’s posts and I don’t get the impression she’s a lazy entitled cheeky fucker - apologies if I’m not contributing to a MN pile on! I’d pay friends for getting my shopping but I wouldn’t and haven’t expected money for picking up a few bits for friends when they’ve needed me to. Guess we’re all different.

@NoWordForFluffy

It's irrelevant as to whether you'd offer the goods without accepting payment. I probably wouldn't for a few quid either, depending on how close the friend is / how often I've got stuff for them. That's my prerogative.

What's relevant is whether it's cheeky to just assume somebody is as able to waive payment as I am, and be surprised if payment is requested. The answer to that question is yes, that position IS cheeky. It is never wrong to ask for payment of goods you've bought for somebody else, regardless of whether the person you've bought for would ask for the money if the roles are reversed.

@Fufumuji, did this not tell you how I thought?

Our village has been shopping for each other since first lockdown, with requests via the whatsapp group. There was an unspoken consensus right from the start that payment would always be made, even for tiny amounts. It felt a bit odd at first, but it means that everyone is entirely comfortable asking others to get things for them, as they know there won't be any awkward 'no, I insist, no, I insist more' over it. Items are dropped on the doorstep with a receipt, and money is dropped through the door later. The only exception is with some very elderly and much-loved neighbours who are shielding and have barely left the house. I know a fair few of us have found excuses not to take payment, or to drop extras round to them - fibbing about special offers or having bought something extra by mistake.

Not paying/taking payment just creates an imbalance, and makes it awkward for people to help out long-term.

personally if I had done a bit of shopping worth £5 I wouldn't bother asking for the money unless I was really broke but I would be surprised if someone didn't offer to pay for it especially if I had gone out of my way, I don't think it would overly bother me though!, and I would drop a home made casserole or something around too, definitely wouldn't expect money for that either

@OrangeSlices998

I can’t seem to quote so can’t reply to individual people, but I’m not changing the narrative I’m asking a question! I’ve read all the OP’s posts and I don’t get the impression she’s a lazy entitled cheeky fucker - apologies if I’m not contributing to a MN pile on! I’d pay friends for getting my shopping but I wouldn’t and haven’t expected money for picking up a few bits for friends when they’ve needed me to. Guess we’re all different.

It changes things that she posted about it though. I'm in the "wouldn't ask for payment but would always offer payment " camp. I'm not sure OP is or she wouldn't have posted.

I'd have mentioned paying when I asked for delivery to be fair!
"I'd really appreciate it, thank you. Pop me your bank details then I can give you the money back" sort of thing.

This thread is going round in circles.

People saying that they wouldn’t ask for payment.

People explaining that it’s basic common courtesy to offer payment for goods that you have asked someone to buy for you, without them having to ask for it. Whether they accept it or not is then up to them, but it is being a CF to just assume no payment is required.

People coming back who have failed to read or comprehend the above explanations, saying ‘I wouldn’t ask for payment’

It's quite bizarre how people can't see that the two positions ('I wouldn't ask for payment' and 'is it off to ask for payment?') aren't the same thing.

@kungfupannda that’s exactly it. This isn’t a usual situation of “oh are passing the shop on your way round, can you grab me something”. I’d never ask for there money in that situation.

But with covid - the OPs friend May well be shopping for lots of people and if she let all of them off payment could quickly be very out of pocket.
Also - yes by making paying a given - you get what you actually want, you don’t feel awkward asking someone to buy “finest range” or whatever.

And then someone else further up thread with the £20 limit and widening network of friends so that anything under £20 is essentially a free shop.

THIS WAS A JOKE

@gluteustothemaximus

And then someone else further up thread with the £20 limit and widening network of friends so that anything under £20 is essentially a free shop.

THIS WAS A JOKE

Phew. I thought I'd read the joke wrong then! 🙈😂

😂😂😂

I think I need to put in brackets (joke) when I'm joking.

I've seen plenty of stuff on twitter that I thought was a joke (because how could anyone think like that), and it turned out, they weren't joking

Rules .....if you ask you pay.

It's like the need for 'lighthearted' these days. Never used to be needed!

I mean...WHATTTT? Why on Earth would you think they should not include the receipt??? You asked for the items and you'd pay for them if you went to the shop yourself, it's just you can't because you are self isolating. The friends are already generous enough for going out of their way to deliver things. What if OP, you are not the only person they are doing a favour for? Little bits of £4 / £5 / £6 pounds quickly add up! You say you are not well off, fair enough, me either so I only buy things I can afford. Delivered or otherwise. Single Mum etc totally irrelevant as you asked for the items. Friends also don't take the piss...JESUS!!!!