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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About friends buying goods during covid?

918 replies

MozzchopsThirty · 22/01/2021 15:40

I've had covid for over a week now, been in with 3 dcs, 2 of whom have also tested positive

A few friends have said 'if you need anything just let me know' and I've asked for a few bits.

My friend bought me £6 worth of stuff and said 'the receipt is in the bag can you put it in my account'
My other friend called over last night and I asked if she could bring some crisps & popcorn and she also said it was about £4 the receipt is in the bag

I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend (and I'm not well off, single parent nhs worker)
If it was a £20 shop upwards that would be different

Maybe I'm wrong, AIBU?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 24/01/2021 10:02

@OrangeSlices998

This thread is bonkers. For those that missed it - the OP did pay the money back. So all those calling her stingy or a cheeky fucker are incorrect.
Being stingy is more than not paying your way. It’s not wanting to.
AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 24/01/2021 10:03

@OrangeSlices998

This thread is bonkers. For those that missed it - the OP did pay the money back. So all those calling her stingy or a cheeky fucker are incorrect.
Yeah because she was ASKED for it (she didnt offer) and is now so pissy about it, she's posting about it online
Russellbrandshair · 24/01/2021 10:06

@OrangeSlices998

This thread is bonkers. For those that missed it - the OP did pay the money back. So all those calling her stingy or a cheeky fucker are incorrect.
Um.... the OP has come online to moan and whine about having to pay her friend back £6. This is after said friend did her a favour.

OP then claims she’s poor yet her posting history is all about her multiple holidays to Italy, Dubai and other places.

Yes, I think she’s stingy AF

NoWordForFluffy · 24/01/2021 10:09

@OrangeSlices998

This thread is bonkers. For those that missed it - the OP did pay the money back. So all those calling her stingy or a cheeky fucker are incorrect.
Yeah. The number of people who just don't get it, or apparently have comprehension issues is bonkers indeed.
kowari · 24/01/2021 10:09

OP then claims she’s poor yet her posting history is all about her multiple holidays to Italy, Dubai and other places. Yes, there's a reason some people can afford expensive overseas holidays, every £4 or £6 helps Angry.

Pinkfluff76 · 24/01/2021 10:20

I wouldn’t expect someone to pay me back for such small amounts and all the rude people going on here about it. A single mum with ill kids as well, of course her friends should be helping with the shopping for those who are saying they’re doing her a huge favour. Honestly they were probably at the shops anyway. She didn’t ask them to cook them a home cooked meal. But OP if you’re all ill with covid you shouldn’t be eating crap like popcorn and crisps. Even bread and pasta is bad for you. I don’t know when people are going to get it through their head that you can’t expect your body to be ok when you feed it crap?!

NoWordForFluffy · 24/01/2021 10:27

@Pinkfluff76, it is NEVER rude to expect payment for items you've kindly bought for another person. Never. It is rude to expect somebody to fund your lifestyle, however.

moanieleminx · 24/01/2021 10:45

Wow!!!! I understand what OP says, when I have shopped for friends and it's just one or two bits, I usually waive it off. However, these costs do add up and as a friend I am never responsible for someone else's financial situation. Even my best friends. I am isolating now as DH is positive. I completely understand the need for snacks or little things to cheer you up, but I would never ever dream of anything other than offering payment. In fact, our friends who dropped round fruit and eggs gave me an estimate of costs and I rounded it up to £10 before transferring it, because I did not want to transfer £8.75.

So I can understand your train of thought OP, even though I think YABU.

Ddot · 24/01/2021 11:02

My friend went on holiday and just incase she needed to quarantine, handed me £20 for vegan milk and a few bits she may or may not need. If she hadn't I would have used my own money and she being a friend would have given me it back. My friends mam died and I intended on getting her some flowers but instead got her tea, coffee, cat food, milk, butter, bread, biscuits, sugar. Because she had family over before covid I might add. That was a gift I thought she really wouldnt feel upto shopping. If she had asked for shopping I would have expected the money. The difference is op asked.

Inpersuitofhappiness · 24/01/2021 11:15

YABU to think that they shouldn't ask for the money, you're a little YABU to ask for snacky bits but no real food from one friend.

But also I can understand and appreciate that you'd act one way, and are disappointed your friends wouldn't do the same for you.

I'd also not ask for the money either. I can't think of how many times I've paid for things for friends and just written it off as equal to a cup of coffee and a slice of cake.

Do you think that maybe thats the root of the way you're feeling? That maybe you're realising that people aren't being as generous to you when unwell as you'd be to them in the same position?

Twistered · 24/01/2021 11:23

Yeah you're being unreasonable.
And ungrateful

Eleganz · 24/01/2021 11:29

I would always offer to pay back any amount and never assume that I shouldn't. I would expect any decent person to do the same. I think the OPs attitude stinks.

NoWordForFluffy · 24/01/2021 11:34

@Eleganz

I would always offer to pay back any amount and never assume that I shouldn't. I would expect any decent person to do the same. I think the OPs attitude stinks.
It's not just the OP, there are loads of entitled CFs on the thread!
HomeSliceKnowsBest · 24/01/2021 11:39

A contender for CF 2021... Unbelievable.

CorianderBee · 24/01/2021 11:43

£4 here and £6 there adds up. It's unreasonable to think you're owed free stuff. They might not have the cash to spare. They might have the cash to spare but want to spend it on their own children.

Just pay them as you would have to if you could get to the shop.

OrangeSlices998 · 24/01/2021 11:51

If someone drops the shopping off and then I presume texts or something to let you know it’s outside (as OP is isolating) and says ‘receipt is in the bag’ how exactly was OP meant to say ‘what did it cost I’ll send the money now?’

Bluntness100 · 24/01/2021 11:57

@OrangeSlices998

If someone drops the shopping off and then I presume texts or something to let you know it’s outside (as OP is isolating) and says ‘receipt is in the bag’ how exactly was OP meant to say ‘what did it cost I’ll send the money now?’
Blimey, you’re really reaching, trying to find a way to excuse her

Do you not offer to pay your friends either?

NoWordForFluffy · 24/01/2021 12:03

@OrangeSlices998

If someone drops the shopping off and then I presume texts or something to let you know it’s outside (as OP is isolating) and says ‘receipt is in the bag’ how exactly was OP meant to say ‘what did it cost I’ll send the money now?’
Why are you trying to change history to suit your narrative?! Weird indeed.
Hope4theBestPlan4theWorst · 24/01/2021 12:16

Firstly - I'm so sorry you've been poorly

However; it's important to understand that People maybe can't afford to do free shopping for people I know we certainly couldn't. It's been a difficult year for lots of people loosing jobs, being furloughed etc.......

If you aren't prepared to pay for stuff then don't ask or maybe go online and organise a delivery for all the bits you need. Crisps and popcorn definately are not essentials and could have waited a couple of days for deliver

nimbuscloud · 24/01/2021 12:16

If someone drops the shopping off and then I presume texts or something to let you know it’s outside (as OP is isolating) and says ‘receipt is in the bag’ how exactly was OP meant to say ‘what did it cost I’ll send the money now?’
The op is pissed off that 2 different people didn’t give her stuff for free. That is the issue. She had no intention of paying for it if she could get away with it.

Bluntness100 · 24/01/2021 12:17

Why are you trying to change history to suit your narrative?! Weird indeed

The only thing I can think of is the poster doesn’t like to pay either, and likes her friends to pay for her, I can’t think of any other reason anyone would twist themselves in knots in this manner to justify not wishing to offer your friends thr few quid to pay for the shopping you asked them to get for you.

MrsSmith2021 · 24/01/2021 12:18

I wouldn’t ask for the money personally (have stopped off essentials to friends who have been in the same situation) but that’s me. I wouldn’t ever let anyone not take the money if it was the other way around though. Like I’d hound them until they took it. Maybe because it’s not essential they assume you’ve got the cash for it? Idk.

AliceinBunniland · 24/01/2021 12:26

I don't disagree with the basic idea that some of us might not ask a friend for the money if it's "just" a few £z

They could have dropped things off for other people isolating eg elderly neighbours and it's become standard for them to put the goods outside the door and the receipt in the bag.

In some circumstances I might not ask for the money either but it really depends - are they a good friend / family, do I have the spare money, am I making other trips like this for them and others, are they a friend who does things for us or are they known to me as a CF who won't pay unless I ask...

You say you wouldn't ask but have you actually down something similar for these particular friends or do you have from for expecting them to pay for things because you are an nhs worker and single parent?

kowari · 24/01/2021 12:28

It doesn't always all even out either. I am very organised and lucky that I am not living week to week financially so am unlikely to ask for even essentials. I have a milk and more account so could get that delivered if needed, but we have food for a fortnight. My sibling typically has enough for a few days at a time. So a fiver here and there can end up flowing one way.

AliceinBunniland · 24/01/2021 12:28

Also it's not just the fact that it occurred to you that they asked you for the money but you actually started a thread about it, which makes it seem like you are annoyed that you had to pay.

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