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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About friends buying goods during covid?

918 replies

MozzchopsThirty · 22/01/2021 15:40

I've had covid for over a week now, been in with 3 dcs, 2 of whom have also tested positive

A few friends have said 'if you need anything just let me know' and I've asked for a few bits.

My friend bought me £6 worth of stuff and said 'the receipt is in the bag can you put it in my account'
My other friend called over last night and I asked if she could bring some crisps & popcorn and she also said it was about £4 the receipt is in the bag

I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend (and I'm not well off, single parent nhs worker)
If it was a £20 shop upwards that would be different

Maybe I'm wrong, AIBU?

OP posts:
Ddot · 24/01/2021 06:29

Your being ungrateful and rude. Your good friends helped YOU out pay them

WTFSandra · 24/01/2021 06:30

I have nothing to add other than to say I hope you’re feeling better better OP. I have had Covid for the last 10 days and it is truly horrid and you deserve every small kindness available, especially if you’ve been looking after others while being unwell yourself. If one of my friends gets it anytime soon I will be taking a full shop round to their home and definitely won’t be asking for anything in return. Covid is the pits. Hope you’re now on the mend Flowers Smile

Ryvt · 24/01/2021 06:53

We are isolating and many offer to shop for us. I’m very embarrassed if they won’t take payment and don’t feel I can ask again.

Doris86 · 24/01/2021 06:57

@SparklyPyjamas

I would have not asked, you would have asked and many others wouldnt for a one off small purchase but unfortunately OP most people in this world are as stingy AF....as you can see.
Yes some people are stingy. Asking a friend to buy something and then not offering to pay them for it.
NoWordForFluffy · 24/01/2021 07:00

@SparklyPyjamas

I would have not asked, you would have asked and many others wouldnt for a one off small purchase but unfortunately OP most people in this world are as stingy AF....as you can see.
And some people are cheeky, entitled twats with no consideration for others' financial considerations and worries.
Doris86 · 24/01/2021 07:13

@SparklyPyjamas

I would have not asked, you would have asked and many others wouldnt for a one off small purchase but unfortunately OP most people in this world are as stingy AF....as you can see.
I would not have asked, but I would have expected payment to be offered whether or not I chose to accept it.
ekidmxcl · 24/01/2021 07:13

I would not have asked a single parent with covid for £4, I’d have happily given them the snacks. This website is weird.

NoWordForFluffy · 24/01/2021 07:17

@ekidmxcl

I would not have asked a single parent with covid for £4, I’d have happily given them the snacks. This website is weird.
Yeah. The amount of people that don't consider whether others can afford to buy their treats for them is unbelievable.
Bluntness100 · 24/01/2021 07:19

@SparklyPyjamas

I would have not asked, you would have asked and many others wouldnt for a one off small purchase but unfortunately OP most people in this world are as stingy AF....as you can see.
Are you referring to the op, asking friends to buy her stuff and then not offering to pay?
Doris86 · 24/01/2021 07:24

@ekidmxcl

I would not have asked a single parent with covid for £4, I’d have happily given them the snacks. This website is weird.
Yes it is weird how some people continue to entirely miss the point.

IF YOU ASK SOMEONE TO BUY YOU SOMETHING YOU SHOULD OFFER THEM PAYMENT.

IF THEY DONT ACCEPT THE PAYMENT THEN ITS NICE THEY ARE BEING GENEROUS. HOWEVER IT SHOULD BE THEIR CHOICE NOT TO ACCEPT THE PAYMENT, NOT YOURS TO ASSUME YOU DONT NEED TO BOTHER PAYING THEM.

NoWordForFluffy · 24/01/2021 07:25

Bravo, @Doris86! (They still won't get it!)

ekidmxcl · 24/01/2021 07:30

Thanks for the caps Doris, but the OP didn’t have a chance to “offer” payment. Payment was immediately requested by saying that the receipt was in the bag. That means: pay it.

Bluntness100 · 24/01/2021 07:32

@ekidmxcl

Thanks for the caps Doris, but the OP didn’t have a chance to “offer” payment. Payment was immediately requested by saying that the receipt was in the bag. That means: pay it.
Bit of a leap there don’t you think? Since the op didn’t indicate such a thing. You’re really tying yourself in knots trying to justify not paying your mates what you owe.

Conversation should be like this,

Here’s the shopping
Thanks, what do I owe you
No, don’t worry/receipts in the bag

Not,

Here’s the shopping
Thanks mate, see you later

NoWordForFluffy · 24/01/2021 07:33

@ekidmxcl

Thanks for the caps Doris, but the OP didn’t have a chance to “offer” payment. Payment was immediately requested by saying that the receipt was in the bag. That means: pay it.
It's the buyer's choice as to whether they get paid or not. Nothing wrong with asking for money at all.

And, actually, OP's story changed slightly after being called out, to say she didn't get a chance to offer. So I'm not going to trust that part of it!

redtshirt50 · 24/01/2021 07:37

I have a friend who is a stickler for budgets, saving, spreadsheets etc.

She reads money diaries and just generally enjoys watching her money.

Her and a DP have a decent job so she doesn't need to be so strict she just enjoys it.

As part of her personality, she would 100% ask for the £4 back. In fact, she'd tell me it was £4.32. I don't mind though because I know it's just her personality, and she would also pay me back the exact amount if roles were reversed.

Some people just like things to be fair and square. And next time you do your friend a favour you can ask her for the money and she probably wont bat an eyelid.

Doris86 · 24/01/2021 07:47

@ekidmxcl

Thanks for the caps Doris, but the OP didn’t have a chance to “offer” payment. Payment was immediately requested by saying that the receipt was in the bag. That means: pay it.
No problem. I thought the caps might help in sink in for some people as nothing else seems to be working.

Nothing wrong with saying receipt in bag . That’s just pre empting the question of ‘what do I owe you?’, which most people would expect to be asked when shopping for someone.

Ddot · 24/01/2021 07:51

If you didnt pay for your shopping, how can you ask again. Be careful, you could land yourself in it. And lose your friends to top it off. Small things can escalate.
Did read you like your expensive holidays

ekidmxcl · 24/01/2021 07:56

To me, the receipt’s in the bag most definitely means: pay that amount. What is does is remove the opportunity to say “how much do I owe you?”
And if you remove the opportunity to say that, the option of the buyer to say “oh it’s only £4 so don’t worry about it” is also removed. That is what I thought the OP was getting at.

NoWordForFluffy · 24/01/2021 08:05

But the buyer clearly wanted the money, so would never have said to forget it!

We only have the OP's changed story word for it that she didn't get the chance to ask how much it was.

The OP was surprised she was asked to pay, as she anticipated free stuff, that was her point. The buyers didn't want to give free stuff, as is their prerogative.

Fallingrain · 24/01/2021 08:20

They have gone to the effort of getting it for you and dropping it round. They wouldn’t ask if they didn’t need it.

Doris86 · 24/01/2021 08:22

@ekidmxcl

To me, the receipt’s in the bag most definitely means: pay that amount. What is does is remove the opportunity to say “how much do I owe you?” And if you remove the opportunity to say that, the option of the buyer to say “oh it’s only £4 so don’t worry about it” is also removed. That is what I thought the OP was getting at.
What’s wrong with ‘receipt is in the bag, pay that amount’ Surely if you ask someone to buy something the assumption is always that you will pay them for it?
Purplepinks · 24/01/2021 08:57

I think, as was mentioned earlier in the thread, 'the receipt is in the bag' is often said either because the person needs the money back, or because the receiver has proven themselves to be a CF who never repays your generosity, either with cash or kindness.

beautifulstranger101 · 24/01/2021 09:14

@SparklyPyjamas

I would have not asked, you would have asked and many others wouldnt for a one off small purchase but unfortunately OP most people in this world are as stingy AF....as you can see.
I agree- the OP IS stingy as fck.

Did you see her previous posts about going on multiple holidays - in the summer, with two planned for Sept that had to be cancelled? She FAR from poor yet wont even reimburse her friend £6?

Stingy as fck.

lemartin · 24/01/2021 09:51

Worldwide pandemic. People dying. You're annoyed you have to pay for your popcorn? Get some perspective

OrangeSlices998 · 24/01/2021 09:59

This thread is bonkers. For those that missed it - the OP did pay the money back. So all those calling her stingy or a cheeky fucker are incorrect.

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