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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About friends buying goods during covid?

918 replies

MozzchopsThirty · 22/01/2021 15:40

I've had covid for over a week now, been in with 3 dcs, 2 of whom have also tested positive

A few friends have said 'if you need anything just let me know' and I've asked for a few bits.

My friend bought me £6 worth of stuff and said 'the receipt is in the bag can you put it in my account'
My other friend called over last night and I asked if she could bring some crisps & popcorn and she also said it was about £4 the receipt is in the bag

I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend (and I'm not well off, single parent nhs worker)
If it was a £20 shop upwards that would be different

Maybe I'm wrong, AIBU?

OP posts:
billyt · 22/01/2021 15:57

Wasn't there a thread recently where someone had asked via Facebook if someone would get some shopping for them? The OP did and the other person never paid the money back (think that was £6 as well)

Mozzchops. You haven't answered as to why you wouldn't repay sums paid out on your behalf? I suppose you could get a whole weeks shopping for free if loads of people only bought a few pounds worth each Grin

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 22/01/2021 15:58

@MozzchopsThirty

Well I have well and truly been told

At no point have I said I expect shopping for free. And I would absolutely say 'how much do I owe you'

But if it was me I would say 'oh don't worry it was only x amount'. Unless it was a weeks shop

Friend who bought goodies was dropping off books for dd, she didn't come specifically for that

Maybe if I've got covid I should only be expecting bread and pasta and not anything that might cheer us up whilst we watch a movie

It's fine for you to want nice stuff while you watch a movie, it's just not fine for you to expect friends to go out, get it for you, drop it off and then absorb the cost of the items for you as well.

They've done you a favour just doing the fetching and dropping off, you should definitely expect to pay for the goods.

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 22/01/2021 15:58

@EggyPegg that's me exactly

I would just say 'oh forget it' or 'buy me a drink if we ever go out again'

I'd be embarrassed to say 'that's £4.40 you owe me'

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 22/01/2021 15:59

But not all “nhs workers” are on low income so no need to mention that......

You could just have just said you were on low income rather than try tug on the old heart strings.

Comefromaway · 22/01/2021 15:59

If it was up to £1 or so I wouldn't expect it back or if it was my parents or brother.

But anyone else and more than about £2 then of course I would expect them to pay me back.

sofiaaaaaa · 22/01/2021 16:00

It would be different if they just randomly dropped off a bag of crisps and popcorn without asking you, and then demanded you pay them even though you didn’t want them. But here you asked them to get you them, it’s completely fair for them to ask to be reimbursed.

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 22/01/2021 16:00

🙄 nice to see MN over dramatic as always today 😂

I ABU

OP posts:
Goawayquickly · 22/01/2021 16:00

@PurpleDaisies

Maybe if I've got covid I should only be expecting bread and pasta and not anything that might cheer us up whilst we watch a movie

You can ask for whatever you want but you need to pay. That’s what everyone is saying.

You really don’t get it.

Well, exactly- whether you ask for value beans or lobster you pay.
purpledagger · 22/01/2021 16:00

Times are hard for many people, so I wouldn't expect anyone to sub me. You need to prepare to pay for it and anything else is a bonus.

You have also asked two friends to buy items for you in a short space of time Hmm

Cynara · 22/01/2021 16:00

I'm sorry OP but that's really cheeky. Friends shopping for and delivering essentials (bread/milk/pet food if required) is one thing (and of course you should pay) but asking for popcorn is a bit of a pisstake. And expecting free popcorn is something else.

Nicknacky · 22/01/2021 16:01

No one is being over dramatic at all. What a daft thing to say just because people don’t agree with you.

LuckyAmy1986 · 22/01/2021 16:01

I personally wouldn't ask for the money back for such small things, but I wouldn't assume that others would do the same

lljkk · 22/01/2021 16:01

Come on, OP. You're not a charity. Pay your way.

XenoBitch · 22/01/2021 16:02

YABU
Your friends are already taking the time to pick you up some bits and drop them round.. and if you want some nice things to cheer you up then you still need to pay for it all.

TwirpingBird · 22/01/2021 16:02

Maybe if I've got covid I should only be expecting bread and pasta and not anything that might cheer us up whilst we watch a movie

Eh ..... well surely you 'expect' what you pay for, or were you thinking basics like pasta and bread should be free? Surely if you ask for chocolate you pay for chocolate, or if you want pasta you pay for pasta. I am confused.

YouJustDoYou · 22/01/2021 16:02

The fact you don't understand says a lot about you.

dottiedaisee · 22/01/2021 16:02

I actually had the opposite problem. My friends did odd bits of shopping for me and all refused any payment...one shop was over £40 and friend earns minimum wage !! She refused to give me her bank details so I posted cash in through her door after I had self isolated for 14 days and I dropped wine and flowers to the other friends!
I most definitely would not accept freebies unless it was a specific gift.

bloodyhairy · 22/01/2021 16:02

OP, I would never charge a friend for that. YANBU and hope you recover swiftly.

IHaveBrilloHair · 22/01/2021 16:02

Tenerife and Dubai were on your list if I remember correctly.

booandbumpp · 22/01/2021 16:03

I would probably say don’t worry about it with friends and family where we regularly pick something up for the other as it balances out in the end. However if someone got me something I’d ask for I wouldn’t be fussed if they asked for the money back.
No one is really being unreasonable in their attitudes, but I think you’re being a little unreasonable to be shocked at someone’s behaviour just because it doesn’t match how you would act.

Jeschara · 22/01/2021 16:03

Is this a wind up OP of course you should pay, you should have enough sence to know this.
I really cant believe you need to ask.

ivfbabymomma1 · 22/01/2021 16:03

I wouldn't ask for it back if it was under £10 or for example if I bought extra treats or something to cheer them up, but I'd always always pay for anything I'd asked for! If they say don't worry about it then that's fine but at least assume your paying them back!

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 22/01/2021 16:03

I have paid, I just wouldn't accept or ask if it was me but hey we're all different

OP posts:
Ch3rish · 22/01/2021 16:04

But you must know that not everyone is the same, are you sure you aren't being slightly disingenuous? Clearly from the fact that this has happened twice you know that it's totally normal.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 22/01/2021 16:04

The 'favour' bit is the going and getting of the shopping, not the payment.

But that said, I wouldn't have asked for that back either and I probably would have chucked in some chocolate as well. I suppose the lesson is that everyone is different.

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