About friends buying goods during covid?

[MozzchopsThirty]

I've had covid for over a week now, been in with 3 dcs, 2 of whom have also tested positive

A few friends have said 'if you need anything just let me know' and I've asked for a few bits.

My friend bought me £6 worth of stuff and said 'the receipt is in the bag can you put it in my account'
My other friend called over last night and I asked if she could bring some crisps & popcorn and she also said it was about £4 the receipt is in the bag

I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend (and I'm not well off, single parent nhs worker)
If it was a £20 shop upwards that would be different

Maybe I'm wrong, AIBU?

When they asked if you needed anything they probably meant essentials. You asked for them to get you treat stuff and they did, that was the favour. Going to a supermarket and coming to your house. Why on earth would getting ill mean you get things for free? If you’re NHS I presume you’re being paid whilst isolating / recovering? Why would this situation mean you get free food VS a month ago?

If you think we are being dramatic, then tell your friends that as a single, NHS worker, they should be paying for those small amounts of food for you and not expect money for it.

You must think you're right so tell them that. But you won't, because it's not right.

@MozzchopsThirty

I mentioned single parent & nhs worker so you knew I wasn't laughing all the way to the bank with no concept of money

Not because I think I should 'get free stuff' what an odd thing to say

I have a single parent NHS worker friend/colleague on a six figure salary. Likewise, I’ve got friends who are a couple and married who are both on minimum wage/zero hours contract.

LittleRa

I didn't say she should have treats. I said she shouldn't ask other to go out and get treats and bring them to her.

It's a crap thing to do.

You're lucky to have friends who are prepared to run around (and put themselves at risk) to help you. Keep treating them like that and next time they'll say no. I would only ask for essentials to ensure that my friends weren't coming into contact with others unnecessarily. I think you've been cheeky to expect them to treat you.

We had to isolate. I managed to get most bits in my online shop the day before we found out but no extra treats such as popcorn or things to make isolation less rubbish.
Friends also offered to help. I said no thank you until we ran low on nappies unexpectedly. Some friends had sent unexpected treats such as letterbox brownies as lovely (I requested) gifts and didn’t expect money. When I asked for nappies to be dropped I offered the money.

People are already going out of their way to collect abs drop things for you. Yabu to expect them to pay for it too, however “small” an amount it cost.

I’m going to be in the same position today, picking up a few things for a friend that has covid and family isolating. Second time in testing positive. If she wanted a fivers worth of course I would tell her forget about it or owe me when everything’s fine. If it was a big shop of course she’s pay me. I’m only on the min wage.

All the people saying they wouldn't ask for the money back- I hope you realise how lucky and privileged you are. £5 is an awful lot of money for food for a lot of people. Think about that.

Of course you should pay!

I'm the same as you OP- anything under £10 I wouldn't even think about asking for; anything over £20 I might

Same, but you and OP need to realise that just because you wouldn't ask doesn't mean its not normal or right for someone else to ask. Because it is.

If I was dropping off a few pounds of food for a sick friend I wouldn't ask for the money. On the otherhand I wouldn't ask anyone to drop off popcorn when there is a pandemic on. I suppose I'm on the fence.

Do you have form for lending money/not paying your way? Maybe this is a subtle hint from them?

Of course you should pay for your own shopping.

Do you have form for not paying people back? I'm just wondering because they seem quite insistent on getting the money back. Generally, when I've got bits and pieces for vulnerable neighbours, I haven't needed to ask because they've just paid me immediately (or they've added items for me to their online grocery shop, in the case of next door). One neighbour didn't pay in cash but let me know by text later that she was totting it up and would do a bank transfer at the end of the month (she's being very careful and thought handing over cash was too risky).

I'd never dream of not paying it back. How ridiculous. I pay 69p without fail to the person who buys my TV mag every week. Why wouldn't I?

Some people may know more than one person self isolating, should they pay of a bit of shopping for all of them? People who are desperate will end up with no offers of help because the CF have used up all the goodwill.

My lovely friend dropped about sixty quid worth of unasked for shopping at my door when we had covid. The bags were full of snacky easy to eat food that required no effort such as cold cooked chicken, salad, crusty bread, Humous, yoghurts
and fruit. She will
Not accept a penny for it. I am so grateful.

BUT a) she can afford it and b) we do things like this for each other c) I ordered her some waterproof trousers that cost about the same and won’t take a penny from her for them.

If you’ve asked for bits I don’t think you can expect them for free, really I don’t.

Just wondering OP if perhaps people generally have to ask you to pay them back when you owe them? I'm wondering if you have form for this sort of thing?

I absolutely HATE it if I have to ask for money I'm owed, Perhaps you're not very forthcoming?

I had a friend who time after time we'd meet for coffee and I'd end up paying and she would say I'll get it next time or that she'd transfer me the money. Dawned on me that this almost never happened. I truly think she always thought 'oh it's only as little amount' not turns out it really mounted up when you thought of it!!

YABU.

Huh you want free shopping how rude

@PurpleDaisies

“Offering to pay” for your own shopping kind of gives away your attitude here.

You should expect to pay. It’s your shopping.

This!

Maybe £4 is nothing to you but for someone else it might be the difference between being able to pay a bill or not.

"If it was a £20 shop upwards that would be different" So if your shopping came up to £19 you would STILL expect your friends to pay for it? How rude and grabby of you.

Not sure if this is a post to provoke. Of course you should pay for items you’ve asked for. If someone turned up with treats as a gift, then it’s free. Otherwise, they’ve done a chore for you

Don't be ridiculous, the favour was doing your shopping - not paying for it!

Hope you thanked them!

@FindHungrySamurai

NHS workers are working hard at the moment but they’re not particularly hard up - they’re one of the groups who have a guaranteed future income. And some of them are on a cosy six figure income.

Only a tiny minority are on six figures, a fraction of 1%.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

LittleRa

I didn't say she should have treats. I said she shouldn't ask other to go out and get treats and bring them to her.

It's a crap thing to do.

Why is it a crap thing to do? She’s got three kids. She’s trying to make a rubbish situation (isolating) a little bit more fun for them, having a movie night and snacks. Her friend asked if she wanted anything picking up. Why shouldn’t she ask for crisps and popcorn? It’s not like she asked for crack cocaine. This is of course a total aside to the issue if whether she should pay for them- which she of course should. Reminds me of the threads in the first lockdown where people said milk wasn’t an essential and to have butter in your coffee instead. If you had a friend who was isolating with three kids and you asked “can I get you any bits from the supermarket?” and she said “Oh the kids would love some crisps and popcorn for watching a film tonight” what would you say? No, I won’t be getting snacks, I’ll bring you round some pasta and bread and other things I deem to be essential.