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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to send DD back to preschool?

153 replies

Smurftastic · 22/01/2021 12:41

I kept my 3yo daughter at home since Christmas half-term. AIBU to consider sending her back to preschool in February?
The preschool is small with nice outdoor area. I know she'd like to go as she's getting bored at home.

I don't really NEED to send her in, I'm a SAHM. At the same time I recently found out I'm pregnant, so it's putting me at higher risk of the virus but also makes me very very tired and quite sick.
I don't think I've been taking great care of her because of this, but not sure if it really matters if she gets a few more weeks watching lots of My Little Pony versus getting us all ill?

Rates in my town are about 390 per 100k

YABU- keep her at home until after Feb half-term
YANBU- send her in now, go have a nap

OP posts:

Rowenasemolina · 27/01/2021 11:35

@IndecentFeminist

Especially when no-one has actually appealed to that better nature. Nurseries are open as normal.

Nurseries are open with the request from the government that nursery children are kept home whenever possible

Rowenasemolina · 27/01/2021 11:36

You know, for the sake of the rest of humanity. If that’s not an appeal to people’s better nature, what is?

IndecentFeminist · 27/01/2021 11:39

There haven't been any requests from the government to not use nurseries.

IndecentFeminist · 27/01/2021 11:41

Yes Tessa, but school guidance is very clear. If a parent can be at home they should be. You can be, so you should be. The same can't be said for nurseries.

And why would someone give notice on a nursery place they want to keep using? And risk losing that place?

This is ridiculous. The stats show that nurseries are not particular hubs of infection. They are beneficial places for kids. So why this rush to shame people legitimately using a place?

Original poster

Smurftastic · 27/01/2021 11:44

@Rowenasemolina 'Nurseries are for the benefit of parents, not children. Ive used nurseries in the past so I could work. There is no reason for a parent at home to send their child in.'
Most children at my daughter's preschool are still in. I'd argue 3 year old do indeed need socialization with other children, but I only read one book about it so I am not an expert . They are more than happy to have my daughter back on March 1st if government doesn't change their stance. Funnily enough I know the preschool is doing well and staff are fine as I am on the board of trustees, involved with their internal affairs. You are scaremongering quite a bit. Sorry you're so bitter. I am happy about my decision.

OP posts:

Backbee · 27/01/2021 11:52

@Tessabelle1 ah yes let's hope everyone does that so they can never afford to reopen, eh.

Bumblebee1980a · 27/01/2021 12:27

@Rowenasemolina

but why should my daughter and her colleagues be risking their health for parents who just can’t be bothered. The self justification on here is insane. Nurseries are for the benefit of parents, not children.

Never in my life have I heard this much utter bollocks!!!!!!

So nurseries are only beneficial for parents and not the children? 😂😂😂 Sod all the research that's been done on the Early Years ( just because it isn't consistent with the stupid point you're trying to make).

So the EYFS is for parents? So communication and language; personal, social and emotional development isn't important either.

My DS is in upper nursery (preschool) and I can assure you he is in for his own benefit.

You sound uneducated. 👋🏼

Original poster

Smurftastic · 27/01/2021 12:32

@Bumblebee1980a
I agree with you. Preschool send us a list of things to concentrate on for the next 4 weeks, to make sure my daughter is on track with her learning!

OP posts:

Tessabelle1 · 27/01/2021 12:37

@IndecentFeminist the OP can be at home so why is it ok for her child to attend but not mine? Are you genuinely trying to say that preschool is more beneficial than ACTUAL school for children?

IndecentFeminist · 27/01/2021 12:38

I by no means think that nurseries are essential, as my older two children didn't go to them or preschool and are perfectly normal kids, but to try to sell them as being purely for the parents does your arguement a disservice as it is so clearly rooted in emotion and not logic.

I'm sure you're worried for your daughter. My mum is worried for me working in a school. But not so much that she thinks I should resign and that all people who legitimately use a service for its designed and advertised purpose are somehow selfish and lesser parents.

TheOtherMaryBerry · 27/01/2021 14:38

I by no means think that nurseries are essential, as my older two children didn't go to them or preschool and are perfectly normal kids

I don't disagree with you, however, in this day and age, with no toddler groups, no visiting family allowed, no soft play or anything a nursery is the only place many small children can see other children at all. I would argue that they're essential right now as otherwise children aren't able to do the socialising that is so essential for their development.

Tessabelle1 · 27/01/2021 15:12

@TheOtherMaryBerry children in the outback in Australia and similar places go to school remotely all the time, they're not all stunted psychopaths because they don't go to preschool

loretta81 · 27/01/2021 15:12

I think it must be awful for school-aged children right now. I don't think anybody is arguing that nursery kids are any more in need of time with other children than school kids.

But there is absolutely no reason to not send your child to nursery right now. They're not closed. Parents haven't been told they must keep them home if they can. And there's no evidence nurseries are contributing to infections in the massive way that schools unfortunately do.

The government provides 15 hours of free nursery care to 3 and 4 year olds. This is not contingent on parents working. Because nursery does help children!

whenthestarsgoblue · 27/01/2021 15:46

@Rowenasemolina

My daughter and every other member of staff have now resigned. The manager says he completely understands why. He would never have allowed this situation if it had been in his power to turn away the parents that were just taking the piss. I know how utterly devastated many nursery managers were not to be closed when schools closed, and how much they relied on lower numbers of children to make the place safer. Everyone was prepared to work for vulnerable children and key workers parents, but why should my daughter and her colleagues be risking their health for parents who just can’t be bothered. The self justification on here is insane. Nurseries are for the benefit of parents, not children. Ive used nurseries in the past so I could work. There is no reason for a parent at home to send their child in. Now do many have, the outcome of that is that the nursery will no longer be there for the people who do need it. My daughter has just given a weeks notice, and i fully support her in that. I don’t know if she will work the week or not. Probably not. I don’t know what will happen to the nursery, whether it will find new staff or not. ( every one on my daughters shift resigned this morning- the number of parents dumping their children off so they could enjoy some ‘me time’ at the risk of the whole of the rest of society just got too much) so if no one works tomorrow, the nursery closes as of tomorrow, and may not reopen

Nurseries don't benefit children? So your dd just looked after the kids then? Didn't do activities? Prep for school? Cognitive and physical development? Follow the EYFS scheme?

Everything that comes out of your mouth is complete and utter rubbish.
I don't believe for one second all the staff resigned, and if they do - they all need to grow the f up.

You should honestly leave it there hun, you are embarrassing yourself with your uneducated waffling.

Toocold · 27/01/2021 16:59

This thread is bonkers... not you OP, perfectly reasonable question. Do what is right for you and your family, just because someone else feels their life is harder doesn’t mean you can’t make yours easier, also to the poster that said it is keeping her high school student off of school, will you be keeping your child home if secondaries go back before primaries... I very much doubt it. I have a preschooler and two in secondary, I also work, so my preschooler is off to apologise to her siblings for keeping them off of school as she attends preschool so I can work...

hammeringinmyhead · 27/01/2021 18:56

Oh aye? A whole nursery staff resigned in a pandemic with high unemployment? Shall I expect my local Sainsbury's staff to resign in disgust because of all those customers not shopping alone?

Rowenasemolina · 28/01/2021 13:31

@hammeringinmyhead

Oh aye? A whole nursery staff resigned in a pandemic with high unemployment? Shall I expect my local Sainsbury's staff to resign in disgust because of all those customers not shopping alone?

Sirry, I didn’t mean the whole staff. I meant the whole shift. Absolute final straw was mother bounding in , off loading perfectly normal healthy child, chatting gleefully about getting some ‘me time’. Not the first time she had done this. Totally oblivious to everyone else’s feelings in the room around her

Backbee · 28/01/2021 13:36

Wow that woman dropping her child off at nursery sounds atrocious. I can see why they would all quit.

Backbee · 28/01/2021 13:36

That was sarcasm by the way in case it wasn't clear.

Bumblebee1980a · 28/01/2021 14:06

@Backbee

Wow that woman dropping her child off at nursery sounds atrocious. I can see why they would all quit.

😂

IndecentFeminist · 28/01/2021 14:08

Heaven forbid these mothers offloading their perfectly healthy child to a room full of people paid and trained to care for them. Would you have rathered said child was ill?

You're totally making this up. Either that or your daughter and colleagues aren't very bright.

BeaTea · 28/01/2021 14:11

Just do it OP. My DD is going back to her childminder next week.

Original poster

Smurftastic · 28/01/2021 14:24

@BeaTea There's only two weeks before half term so I'm sending her back after. The manager sounded happy to have her back soon, but she's a lovely person. I'm thinking about getting them some flowers as a thank you for not screaming me down for daring to use their service . This thread just keeps on giving.

OP posts:

Bumblebee1980a · 28/01/2021 14:29

@Smurftastic

"This thread just keeps on giving"

😂😂😂

I think I'll miss this thread when it eventually stops. It's become part of my daily activity.

Rowenasemolina · 28/01/2021 15:32

[quote Smurftastic]**@BeaTea There's only two weeks before half term so I'm sending her back after. The manager sounded happy to have her back soon, but she's a lovely person. I'm thinking about getting them some flowers as a thank you for not screaming me down for daring to use their service . This thread just keeps on giving.[/quote]
Nobody screamed anybody down in the nursery, did they. Just smiled and nodded in public and sobbed and cursed in private

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