AIBU to send DD back to preschool?

[Smurftastic]

I kept my 3yo daughter at home since Christmas half-term. AIBU to consider sending her back to preschool in February?
The preschool is small with nice outdoor area. I know she'd like to go as she's getting bored at home.

I don't really NEED to send her in, I'm a SAHM. At the same time I recently found out I'm pregnant, so it's putting me at higher risk of the virus but also makes me very very tired and quite sick.
I don't think I've been taking great care of her because of this, but not sure if it really matters if she gets a few more weeks watching lots of My Little Pony versus getting us all ill?

Rates in my town are about 390 per 100k

YABU- keep her at home until after Feb half-term
YANBU- send her in now, go have a nap

[quote Rainb0wDrops]@Iminaglasscaseofemotion you are entitled to your opinion about nurseries but telling someone they don't have it as hard as others and should basically toughen up is unfair. Everyone deals with things differently and it's ok not to cope even if we have things 'easier' than others. [/quote]
I disagree that it's unfair. OP asked for opinions, thats mine. Why bother asking?

I asked for opinions and I got them, luckily most people seem to be respectful in giving them! I'm not sending my daughter now, but only because she'd only go for 3 weeks before the half term so I don't think it's worth the risk. Nothing to do with 'others having it harder', because there are ALWAYS people who have it worse and people who have it better. It's just not helpful.

Fundamentally (assuming your partner / you're not clinically vulnerable aside from pregnancy)
It's not against the rules
It will help the economy
It will help your health
It will help your child.

There is fuck all for children to do at the moment. No chance to see friends, the only things are stuff at home or freezing walks in the woods or freezing play in the garden. All good wholesome stuff but after 12 months of it, its really fucking boring and unstimulating.

Weve been avoiding playparks because of mixing bubbles etc as the ones round us are really busy and no distancing, but stumbled across a completely deserted one last weekend. The kids (3 and 5) went absolutely crazy, they were running around in circles with excitement as they couldnt decide what to play on first. It was amazing and kind of heartbreaking that they are so used to being at home and going for walks, that a few swings and slides sent them into a frenzy.

I've followed the rules 100pc and taken a harder line when I know the rules have been crazy eg stuck to our own household at Christmas. But I'd send her in

I believe pre school is open and you should feel no guilt sending your child in - take care.

It's not against the rules. So nobody who uses nursery provision right now is doing anything wrong at all.

I'm a SAHM and I send my 3 year old. It's not competitive misery. Nursery is open and it's essential for young children's development. I have the utmost respect for the professionals who work with my child and my entire household has been able to arrange it so we have no other contacts except nursery so we are not bringing additional risk of covid to the workers. There are only half a dozen kids going in.
My daughter is infinitely happier for being there and the teachers are happy to take her.

To those of you saying you send your child in even when you are at home, have you been watching BBC news this week? Have you seen the reports on what's happening in ICUs? Have you seen the people in their 20s who are close to death? What about the news today - this new variant is more deadly as well as being more easily spread. If you go anywhere at the moment, when you don't really need to, you are insane. If you don't have to work, please keep your child at home.

@Smurftastic

I asked for opinions and I got them, luckily most people seem to be respectful in giving them! I'm not sending my daughter now, but only because she'd only go for 3 weeks before the half term so I don't think it's worth the risk. Nothing to do with 'others having it harder', because there are ALWAYS people who have it worse and people who have it better. It's just not helpful.

So why ask? If everyone you know is still sending their kids regardless of their circumstances, why are you asking for opinions of strangers? People definitely will have it harder if nurseries shut the way schools have again.

I'm happily sending my son. I'm in school every other week but in my off week I have the bigger kids at home with me.home learning and he carried on at preschool.

@Hollywhiskey

I'm a SAHM and I send my 3 year old. It's not competitive misery. Nursery is open and it's essential for young children's development. I have the utmost respect for the professionals who work with my child and my entire household has been able to arrange it so we have no other contacts except nursery so we are not bringing additional risk of covid to the workers. There are only half a dozen kids going in. My daughter is infinitely happier for being there and the teachers are happy to take her.

They might say they are happy to your face. Some probably are, but I can imagine there are plenty that resent being put at extra risk because people who don't work want some peace and quiet.

School is essential for children's development and learning, yet schools are closed and online learning is no substitute. Nursery definitely is not essential for a 3 year old, thats just what people say to make themselves feel better.

I am sure the government will close nurseries to all but key worker/vulnerable children if that is what the evidence suggests. Cases falling very dramatically in my area with nurseries open and schools closed.

Returning to the other question in your original post:

I don't think I've been taking great care of her because of this, but not sure if it really matters if she gets a few more weeks watching lots of My Little Pony versus getting us all ill?"

She'll be fine with extra TV for a while. Ignore the people who post on Facebook about all the exciting activities they do with their pre-schoolers - what matters is that they're fed, warm and loved. Go easy on yourself while you're not feeling so good.

They might say they are happy to your face. Some probably are, but I can imagine there are plenty that resent being put at extra risk because people who don't work want some peace and quiet.

This. I’ve kept dd off and sent a message to say that as much as she loved nursery her health and the health of the lovely staff was the most important thing. I ran into the head a few days later and she told me how much my message had meant to her and her team.

I also don’t buy the “well, government says it’s safe” line. This is the same bunch that said schools were totally safe on the Sunday and had shut them all down by Monday. Really, you trust them?

If there was an excess of cases they would close them.like last time. As far as I have seen thus far, this hasn't been the case.

Exactly this! I had this same conversation with a friend last week. She said she’s sending her 3 year old back to nursery because she ‘needs it’ but friend doesn’t work. I said to her don’t you think all children need it? I have children in years 1,4,6 and 8. My son in year 8 hasn’t been to school since November due to 2 weeks isolating then his school closing 2 weeks earlier than planned before Xmas due to high number of cases. He desperately needs to be back at school but he can’t. My daughter is starting secondary school in September, she desperately needs to be in school, but again she doesn’t have that option!
I find it mind boggling why nursery’s and pre schools are currently allowed open I really do!

I'm continuing to send my 2.5yr old 2 days a week. This is partly because she had 2 key worker parents and it's shit and inappropriate for her to be at home but also because I weigh the risks. It is also because she needs to be around other children as late summer baby with only 18
Months before school. Others happily trapise around major supermarkets without a second thought whereas I haven't been in one since March. We had to sheild on my behalf in the first wave (before I was taken off the cv list) whilst everyone else was still going to school and nursery when they were open. Unfortunately a lot of the negativity comes from being people being judgmental and jealous! Dd is in nursery with around 10 other children so very limited contact and only 1 confirmed case which was staff at another site. No transmission to any children so far. So I will keep sending her whilst I feel it is safe. I'm out of the public sector as soon as I can though because being a keyworker is BS. Do what you need to op because if no one cares about key worker children they don't care about yours.

Children not attending who could completely screws over nurseries financially.

I know because I'm on the board for ours. We only have about half the children attending. If we can't get more to come in we will have to start charging parents or will fold - there's a risk we can't get funded hours funding for children who don't return.

It's up to you, personally I would, DS has been in childcare and it's been fine and he loves it. They are 'allowed' to open, you aren't doing anything 'wrong' sending them in.

The only reason nursery’s have not shut is because they don’t have the unions that schools do that put pressure on the government to close schools

No it isn't

My son goes to nursery 4 days a week. We only actually need to send him 1 day a week as my husband has been furloughed on 3 of those days. We still send him. We'd have to pay regardless and it means DH can focus on homeschooling DD. DS loves nursery and I'm grateful he gets the chance for some socialisation and experiences outside of these 4 walls.

Would normally agree that preschool is not 'essential' as those experiences can largely be made up by parents through toddler groups, play dates, visiting family, farm, soft play etc etc. However none of that is available now and small children are missing out.
Older children are missing out too - absolutely and I think schools should open as soon as possible.
I dislike the competitive misery this brings out. We all have to make our own decisions and do what's best for us within the rules.

I'm sending mine in because:

A. I'm allowed to
B. I have a full time job to do
C. I am a single parent and have bills to pay
D. The risk to DD is low
E. We aren't a risk to anyone else as we are literally only seeing each other
F. I want the private nursery she goes to to survive this

I’m sending my DS in because:
A- I have to work- I work outside the home in a keyworker role.
B- He has not really had the opportunity to go to toddler and baby groups. He went to one in September for a few weeks while I was still on mat leave. Even then it wasn’t the same- he had to stay on his mat. He needs to see children of his own age and unlike older children Zoom does not work for babies and young toddlers. Ideally all children would be in school but it is balance of risks. Zoom etc is not the same as school for a school aged child but they can at least get something from it. Secondary aged children can also meet a friend for a walk one on one (bit harder for primary aged children), secondary aged children don’t need constant supervision by an adult, they also aren’t the driver of infections unlike secondary school aged children.
3- my HV has recommended it as all the normal things she would recommend to help with communication (baby groups etc) are closed. He has a mild developmental delay which has started improving since he started nursery.
4- I’m allowed.
5- The risk to DS is low.

I feel for nursery workers about the concerns they have about their own risks. I know my own nursery has furloughed their high risk staff and have not had a case since September. They are very hot on their measures and infection control. I also worry that financially they cannot afford to close. It is a balancing act but while they are open for all I will continue to send my son. If they shut to all but keyworker children I doubt my nursery will be open due to financial viability so I will have to find alternatives which aren’t as low risk for my son or for the wider population (one childcare bubble will not cover my shifts)

Mine are school age now (ASD, dyspraxia and dyslexia aren't sufficient reasons for getting an appropriate education )

I would continue sending to pre-school. I kept DS1 in when pregnant with DS2 for continuity of care, and stable socialising. I increased his hours for a couple of months around the birth when I struggled to get out with SPD and had a tough recovery. When DS2 was 7 weeks, DS1 broke out with chicken pox. I then ended up with a 9 week old spotty baby. It's never been zero risk to send children out into the world, and there's always been the risk of illness, some potentially nasty. Children need socialisation to develop their immune systems and Covid is not the only illness in the world.
The continuity of staying at nursery, despite a month of illness in the house turned out to be very valuable with DS1's speech difficulties and SALT programme.

The benefits outweigh the risks.

Sending children into nursery/ pre-school has no direct impact on my children being granted access to learning and their peers. Actually, being open is a stronger case to reopen schools and stop making them exclusive until a non-existant "safe" time is declared.

All those sending their kids to nursery who arnt key workers. Don't blame us when our kids need to repeat a year due to schools not going back in till after easter, this is looking very likely now meanig nursery kids are delayed school entry for a year your kids arnt the only ones who matter, high school kids are struggling with online lessons and realistically they carnt be left to just get on with it and still progress no matter how much nuresry parents delude themselves into thinking otherwise. Get ready for your nursery kids to start school a year later because realistically this has to happen to help all the other kids who are already in school.