AIBU to send DD back to preschool?

[Smurftastic]

I kept my 3yo daughter at home since Christmas half-term. AIBU to consider sending her back to preschool in February?
The preschool is small with nice outdoor area. I know she'd like to go as she's getting bored at home.

I don't really NEED to send her in, I'm a SAHM. At the same time I recently found out I'm pregnant, so it's putting me at higher risk of the virus but also makes me very very tired and quite sick.
I don't think I've been taking great care of her because of this, but not sure if it really matters if she gets a few more weeks watching lots of My Little Pony versus getting us all ill?

Rates in my town are about 390 per 100k

YABU- keep her at home until after Feb half-term
YANBU- send her in now, go have a nap

I don't think anybody thinks that their nursery age kids are more important/deserving/in need than school age kids. We are continuing to use a service that is legal and available (as I imagine you did in November and December when schools were open).

@Marzipan12

All those sending their kids to nursery who arnt key workers. Don't blame us when our kids need to repeat a year due to schools not going back in till after easter, this is looking very likely now meanig nursery kids are delayed school entry for a year your kids arnt the only ones who matter, high school kids are struggling with online lessons and realistically they carnt be left to just get on with it and still progress no matter how much nuresry parents delude themselves into thinking otherwise. Get ready for your nursery kids to start school a year later because realistically this has to happen to help all the other kids who are already in school.

I agree. At first I thought it was a ridiculous idea for children to repeat the year. Could not see how it would work at all because of all the children that would be due to start school. Now I think its probably necessary to help school children get back on track. Seeing the attitudes of some people on here not really caring, and sending kids in when they have absolutely no reason to, I don't think I'll worry about kids not getting to start school when they were supposed to anymore.

What has using nursery got to do with school age children repeating a year? Is there much evidence of spread at nursery? (Not being ready, genuine question). Our nursery has bubbles of 8 kids which is much less than the 30 at school so I would have presumed the spread was much less

Are the people that have taken their kids out, still paying the nursery?

Also would be interested to hear opinions from any nursery staff. I understand teachers not wanting to go in and teach a bubble of 30 when its possible to do it online and they will get paid regardless.

But nursery staff only get paid if children are being sent to nursery, otherwise its redundancy or furlough and most are very young so the risks to their health are lower

@FFSAllTheGoodOnesArereadyTaken

What has using nursery got to do with school age children repeating a year? Is there much evidence of spread at nursery? (Not being ready, genuine question). Our nursery has bubbles of 8 kids which is much less than the 30 at school so I would have presumed the spread was much less

Well when the children already at school have to repeat a year, the nursery children will have to stay in nursery for an extra year because there won't be enough teaches for the start school.

There isn't any evidence that my kid going to nursery is going to stop your kid getting back to school.

If/when the government advice changes I will accept it completely.

I wouldn't although I do appreciate how horrendous it is having morning sickness and generally feeling rubbish while also looking after a toddler.
I am incredibly worried about my son catching the virus but unfortunately I work outside the home so he has to go to nursery.
I do think the more people mix the longer the pandemic will last and that might mean the nurseries and preschools have to close.
I just don't think it's worth the risk. I'd try and wait until Easter or at least a few weeks.

@Marzipan12

All those sending their kids to nursery who arnt key workers. Don't blame us when our kids need to repeat a year due to schools not going back in till after easter, this is looking very likely now meanig nursery kids are delayed school entry for a year your kids arnt the only ones who matter, high school kids are struggling with online lessons and realistically they carnt be left to just get on with it and still progress no matter how much nuresry parents delude themselves into thinking otherwise. Get ready for your nursery kids to start school a year later because realistically this has to happen to help all the other kids who are already in school.

And if that happens then that will be frustrating but it will be dealt with but at the moment there has been no suggestion of this happening. Not sending our children to nursery isn’t going to get schools open quicker. It isn’t going to stop this happening. Can you show me the evidence that nurseries are responsible for cases rising at the moment? At the moment cases are dropping in my area with nurseries open. Shutting nurseries is not going to open schools any quicker. Meanwhile we have good evidence of secondary schools driving infections pre Xmas break.

To me it seems you want all children disadvantaged regardless of the actual evidence of what is going to get infection rates down versus other harms. My son hasn’t had much contact with children his own age his whole life because of the pandemic- his baby/toddler groups stopped in March and haven’t restarted. All through September, October, November he has been at home with me with little contact with other children as things weren’t open (seeing a child at a park has been about it)
Schools have been prioritised since September. My son is now in nursery 12 hours a week while I work (I couldn’t afford to do it before). Every child has been impacted by this pandemic and at the moment nurseries are deemed safe enough to open- calling for them to closed, negatively impacting more children when there is no evidence that they are significantly contributing to the infection rate or that closing them will open schools sooner is absurd. If you can show me the evidence that nurseries are keeping cases high then I will happily reassess my decision but I haven’t seen the evidence.
If the government changes their advice then again I will reassess but at the moment taking away the only contact my child can have with another child isn’t going to help yours. And of course your children may need some supervision but that is different to not being able to take your eyes off a newly walking toddler!

They're not going to wholesale repeat an academic year.

The government will not want to fund a whole cohort to 19.
Universities would be empty for a year and then have double the applicants the following.
If Early Years can't take a cohort of 1 year olds, thousands of women can't afford to hire a nanny and go back to work.

Can you not just trust schools to work out a way for pupils to advance fairly after they do go back properly?

But nursery staff only get paid if children are being sent to nursery, otherwise its redundancy or furlough and most are very young so the risks to their health are lower

Evidence for most nursery staff being “very young” please? That’s not what I’m seeing at nurseries near me.

My toddler has caught covid at nursery. She was quite poorly. They haven't had other covid positive babies but have had positive staff and parents. Of course the nursery children all have permanent snotty noses but that doesn't qualify them for a covid test!
My daughter is usually in very good health so I don't know why she got so ill, but it isn't true that there is no transmission in nurseries

@Marzipan12

All those sending their kids to nursery who arnt key workers. Don't blame us when our kids need to repeat a year due to schools not going back in till after easter, this is looking very likely now meanig nursery kids are delayed school entry for a year your kids arnt the only ones who matter, high school kids are struggling with online lessons and realistically they carnt be left to just get on with it and still progress no matter how much nuresry parents delude themselves into thinking otherwise. Get ready for your nursery kids to start school a year later because realistically this has to happen to help all the other kids who are already in school.

The chance of this happening is less than zero.

Children aren't going to repeat the school year. They are doing the work, just at home.
I get it. I have two at secondary school, one who is in Y10 so of course I'm worried.
Having said that, closing nurseries won't mean schools reopen any sooner. Why on earth would it?
Cases in nurseries seem to be a lot lower than at school so not the same thing, although I do think they should be shut but only for staff safety, not for any other reason.

Scrolled down to see who had made the stupid comment about children repeating a school year and of course its marzipan again! Not sure why she feels the need to constantly hijack this thread with the same boring moaning about her 12 year old on a thread about nursery children. You clearly think your little darling is the most wonderful child ever and the only one who matters. Your child who presumably had 12 years of socialisation before covid. There is no evidence there will be repeat of school years, no evidence nursery children will be held back, no evidence that keep nurseries open is in any way delaying the return of schools (guess how many cases have been in my daughter's nursery ever - 0!). Oh and IF my daughter had to repeat a year at nursery, which she won't, I wouldn't care because she would still presumably have funded hours and would just have a lovely extra year of play like so many other European countries.

I have to admit this subject seems to be more polarizing than I expected! I talked to the preschool's manager, I decided my daughter will be coming back on 1st of March after half term. We're lucky enough the preschool is run by a charity and they're still getting funding for my daughter's 15 free hours, so I don't have to pay for her not attending. Bonus: her keyworker will be sending a list of fun things to do to help her learn things she struggles with. I appreciate it's a very difficult situation and everyone has a different idea on what's right. Meanwhile, lemonade seems to help immensely for my (all day) sickness .

@Marzipan12

The government are considering closing nurserys as tougher restictions are needed. About time, the sooner everybody locks down tne sooner everybody can get out of it.

Such rubbish! We’ve been locking down for a year on and off and still not out of it.

My 3yr old goes to her nursery still, she loves it, I love it- I make zero apologies for it!

@Smurftastic that sounds like a good solution! I'm pregnant too and chugging very cold sparkling water. My son is at nursery right now

@loretta81 I hope I won't regret keeping my daughter at home, I'm absolutely shattered! Then again it's only 5 more weeks together with half term and then off she goes for 15 hours a week until summer (fingers crossed). I wish I could just drink cold water, it seems even water's been making me queasy .

Our 2.5YO is at home because we are in Scotland and the nurseries are closed. We are both WFH and we work shifts around taking care of her. It is tough and tiring and so far from ideal but we are coping. I think the general advice from Chris Whitty was to keep nursery kids at home if you can because it reduces contact which in turn should reduce cases, and obviously you feel that you can do so, which is your answer.
Hope you start to feel better in yourself soon too.

YABVVVVVVVVVVVU. Completely unnecessary travel and contact with workers and other families. Why exactly do you think we are doing here. Sitting at home all day every day for fun? My daughter works in a nursery and I can’t describe to you the rage and contempt they hold for those parents using the nursery without good reason right now. Those feelings will never go away. Not for the next 50 years

My daughter works in a nursery and I can’t describe to you the rage and contempt they hold for those parents using the nursery without good reason right now those parents that pay their wages?!

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

My daughter works in a nursery and I can’t describe to you the rage and contempt they hold for those parents using the nursery without good reason right now those parents that pay their wages?!

Unfortunately yes. So the manager can’t turn them away, just has to smile and take it. I think my daughter is going to resign though. She hasn’t gone in this week at all. She is pretty much at breaking point. The staff are prepared to risk everything to do their bit in the pandemic, care for the children of nurses and policemen, care for children with complex needs. And what are they risking their lives, and health and families for? Parents who just don’t feel like doing their own parenting for a few months The nursery has lost quite a few staff, and will be losing more. It might well close for that reason some time in the near future anyway. Already relying almost entirely on bank staff

@Rowenasemolina I'm sorry your daughter feels this way, probably best if she quits then. Cases in my area are falling sharply and there were no cases in my daughter's preschool at all since the start of the pandemic. They seem happy to continue providing the service for those parents who wish to keep sending their children. I'd hardly say I just 'don't feel like parenting' my child as well.

YANBU

It's not about whether you need her to go in, it's about her and what she will gain from being at nursery.