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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Child in the supermarket?

512 replies

Whipituntilitpeaks · 22/01/2021 08:51

Just curious, do you take your child/children with you when you go food shopping?
I’m currently a Sahm to my toddler Dd and always used go go early on a Monday morning, when barely anyone was there.
During the first lockdown, we stopped going and Dp would go on a Saturday morning.
Dp works Mon-Fri and often was there for hours queuing up etc, but back then he was the only one of us that went out (aside from walks in our field)
When it calmed down a little, I went back to doing it with my Dd, do you take yours?
For us, it helps dp as he obviously doesn’t mind at all, but after a long week at work, it’s not fun to do the big shop. It’s also some kind of normality in mine and DD’s life, but I’ve started to feel a bit worried about it. We’re not in the U.K. but cases are around the same number one more or less and some of my friends don’t take theirs into any shops
Aibu to still take her shopping or should dp or myself go alone on the weekend?

OP posts:

Original poster

Whipituntilitpeaks · 22/01/2021 14:12

I wish I hadn’t posted this, really surprised by some of the replies, it was just something I wanted to check on as I’ve become a little taken over by the anxiety of it all recently.
Some nasty posts, I think we really need to find a balance here.

OP posts:

TempsPerdu · 22/01/2021 14:13

@Whodofthunk We don’t fall into any of those categories other than the playground one. She is also an only child. So for us it it literally park (with just me and her) or shops.

I’m not taking DD to the supermarket for a daily jolly, and we’re in London so it’s generally smaller local shops (butcher’s, bakery) for us anyway. But I refuse to have DD treated like persona non grata when we do need to venture in. She is a person and has as much right to be out in public as anyone else.

Original poster

Whipituntilitpeaks · 22/01/2021 14:16

@DreamingInColours Similar feeling here.

@Whodofthunk Again, please read through, I don’t take Dd just for something to do. Shops shut 8 on weekdays, I could get there for 7 when Dp back, horrendous queues and people everywhere after work. Same on a Saturday morning, shops shut at 1pm at the weekend. I was weighing up the ‘Safest’ option, is that ok?

OP posts:

Lorieandrews · 22/01/2021 14:17

I’m a stay at home mum. Who homeschools all the time. My children don’t go to school. I used to take them with me all the time. I’ve even had people ask me why my children aren’t in school.

But right now. No way. One of my children is CEV.

All we do is go for walks. Try to go daily. But I’m also disabled. So it’s not every single day. In the first lockdown it was. But then the weather makes it hard

But even when my children needs a change of scenery. The last place I’d take them would be a supermarket. At this moment in time. It’s not safe for my CEV child. Or any child with vulnerable parents.

I just couldn’t risk it. I’d never be able to live with myself.

Lorieandrews · 22/01/2021 14:18

For anyone struggling with home deliveries

I just found out that Amazon deliver food through Morrison’s.

So if you can get Amazon deliveries. As in your not on the Isle of Man etc. Then do Amazon food.

Buddytheelf85 · 22/01/2021 14:19

You'd think so! Nevertheless, as always theres plenty of posters still going on about how shes breaking the rules, not following the guidance, shopping alone is better no matter what the scenario etc. It's honestly like common sense does not exist anymore.

Exactly, it’s so strange. OP has explained the rules in her area very clearly. There is obviously huge pressure on the supermarkets during the very short periods when working people can visit them. I think it would be pretty selfish to visit during those limited periods if you didn’t have to - all for the sake of feeling noble because you didn’t take your toddler? The unnecessary presence in the shop could prevent a working person from being able to get their food, as well as putting OP at greater risk of catching and spreading Covid.
And I believe the guidance in this country mentions avoiding busy periods if you can!

OP have you considered getting a fireguard, leaving your daughter at home behind it and getting a local dog to watch her?

MacDuffsMuff · 22/01/2021 14:21

@formerbabe

Such a shame so many people on here seem to hate children. Never heard this sort of opposition when golf clubs reopened or even pubs. But you know, must keep the masters of the universe happy...

Who hates children? I must have missed those posts. Or there's a touch of hyperbole going on with your post.

OP, you need to do what you feel is right at the end of the day. I wouldn't want to take DCs but let's face it, we're all just doing the best we can to get through this shit show right now so just do what you feel comfortable with.

Buddytheelf85 · 22/01/2021 14:21

The OP says her DP works Mon - Fri and the supermarkets shuts at 8 where she is, so unless he's working 12 hour days 5 days a week (which he might, granted), she could go at another time. Like many other people do.

She’s explained that the shops are also extremely busy in the ‘after work’ slot, for obvious reasons.

Bettydot · 22/01/2021 14:21

We get an online shop each week and on the odd occasion we’ve nipped to the shops either myself or my DH have gone alone. My children haven’t been in a shop since last March. My personal view while cases are high are if you need to take your child with you due to personal circumstances then don’t feel guilty about it but if you can avoid needing to do so by one of you nipping in the evening or at the weekend do. The more people in the supermarket the greater the chance of spread and many children aren’t able to or don’t wear a mask putting others and themselves more at risk in relation to transmission as the additional layer of protection that masks provide to individuals and others isn’t there. That said I completely understand that lots of people have no option but to take their child with them and I don’t think anyone should be made to feel bad or be judged if this is the case.

MynephewR · 22/01/2021 14:21

IMO people on here are way OTT about supermarkets. I wouldn't think twice about taking my 2yo and 5yo to the supermarket if the time that I need to go is when DH is at work. I try to do the big shop when he can stay home with the kids but it just doesn't always work out that way.

In fact the kids and I quite often pop in to the supermarket while we're out walking if we are running low on milk/bread etc. DS is in the pushchair and DD stays next to me. They aren't running about coughing on people 😂

Lweji · 22/01/2021 14:21

However, the issue is that he is an urban child with no real urban exposure. Not only this, but without our weekly shopping trip he would have no exposure to his car seat, driving in our car, sitting in a trolley, being indoors somewhere that isn't his home etc. These are all things he will need to do daily when lockdown ends.

Fine if the risk really is minimal.

But all those aren't arguments, just excuses.
Children are very adaptable, and they all get used to the urban jungle, the car seat, whatever.
A 1 year old doesn't get used to an urban environment by going to a supermarket.
If he only goes at 2 he will get used to it easily. Even if he only went at 20.

Original poster

Whipituntilitpeaks · 22/01/2021 14:21

Yes also @Whodofthunk Where I am, no parks are open, even beaches are closed off. My girl is also an only child and we live in another country with no family here, she needs to at least look at other people!

OP posts:

TempsPerdu · 22/01/2021 14:22

OP have you considered getting a fireguard, leaving your daughter at home behind it and getting a local dog to watch her

PurpleWh1teGreen · 22/01/2021 14:22

I'm slightly concerned that some people are choosing small shops over big supermarkets. Normally I would encourage shopping local, but not currently.

The virus is spread by droplet infection, and we are less likely to catch it in a larger, spacious shop where it is easier to practice social distancing., than in a Sainsbury's local.

MacDuffsMuff · 22/01/2021 14:23

@Buddytheelf85

She’s explained that the shops are also extremely busy in the ‘after work’ slot, for obvious reasons.

So then she should keep doing what she's happy with then. I wouldn't take my DCs and it's a pain in the arse but tbh I'm so done with everyone just doing their own thing, I'm passed caring what others do for most of the time. We're all just trying to get through it.

BohemianDream · 22/01/2021 14:23

Take your child wherever you need to.
Mumsnet if full of irrationality and poison.
Children shouldn't be discriminated against.

Same4Walls · 22/01/2021 14:23

OP have you considered getting a fireguard, leaving your daughter at home behind it and getting a local dog to watch her?

I've seen stupider suggestions on here in the past year. 😅

Lweji · 22/01/2021 14:23

@lweji Go and read all the data available here, it might make it all a bit clearer to you:

That was funny. Thank you for the laugh.

Bettydot · 22/01/2021 14:24

OP I’ve just seen your last post regarding weighing up the safest time to go. In that cases it sounds like it’s maybe safer for you to take your child with you while your husband is at work based on the opening hours of the shops where you live and how busy it would be if you waited until one of you could go alone.

bjjgirl · 22/01/2021 14:26

Dp and I do separate shops.
We have different budgets and cook separately despite living together (apart from Sunday lunch and Saturday tea which I cook) occasionally we sometimes travel to the shops together but walk round separately.

I try to leave my dds at home but bring them if I have to shop in the evening as I don't like to leave them at night (dd1 is 11).

I am still working full time and over time some days so I can't always make the shops during the day time

naomi81 · 22/01/2021 14:26

It's not illegal to take children into supermarkets so you have to do what's best for your family and routine. If it's quite on a Monday morning It makes sense to me.

TempsPerdu · 22/01/2021 14:28

@PurpleWh1teGreen OK, I’ll let my lovely local bakery and butcher’s go bust and traipse around Sainsbury’s with my toddler instead.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 22/01/2021 14:31

@formerbabe

Such a shame so many people on here seem to hate children. Never heard this sort of opposition when golf clubs reopened or even pubs. But you know, must keep the masters of the universe happy...

I’ve not seen anyone say they hate children though.

Not wanting them or extra adults in supermarkets as it means more risk to staff and others is looking at the big picture rather than personal wants. Young children may not be high risk themselves but other staff and shoppers may be vulnerable to it. Plus many with children are in split households, mixing with bubbles, in school, seeing friends regardless etc .

Freetigerking · 22/01/2021 14:45

Whipituntilitpeaks

Sorry but I think you knew this thread was going to cause a lot of controversy, you knew fine well what you were doing.

rhowton · 22/01/2021 14:47

Omg just take your child!! The people on here are completely crazy!!! This country is losing the plot.

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