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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child in the supermarket?

512 replies

Whipituntilitpeaks · 22/01/2021 08:51

Just curious, do you take your child/children with you when you go food shopping?
I’m currently a Sahm to my toddler Dd and always used go go early on a Monday morning, when barely anyone was there.
During the first lockdown, we stopped going and Dp would go on a Saturday morning.
Dp works Mon-Fri and often was there for hours queuing up etc, but back then he was the only one of us that went out (aside from walks in our field)
When it calmed down a little, I went back to doing it with my Dd, do you take yours?
For us, it helps dp as he obviously doesn’t mind at all, but after a long week at work, it’s not fun to do the big shop. It’s also some kind of normality in mine and DD’s life, but I’ve started to feel a bit worried about it. We’re not in the U.K. but cases are around the same number one more or less and some of my friends don’t take theirs into any shops
Aibu to still take her shopping or should dp or myself go alone on the weekend?

OP posts:
DreamingInColours · 22/01/2021 13:53

@lweji I suppose 'socialise' isn't quite the right word. It is more exposing him to the bright lights, sounds etc.
I think it's important he has different experiences so when lockdown ends I'm not left with a 2 or 3yo DS who is intimidated by the world around him.

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 22/01/2021 13:54

I get a delivery where I can but if I need the odd thing from co OP I have to take ds as I'm a single parent
Strange thread , I'm sure everyone is trying to limit shop visits where possible

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 22/01/2021 13:54

i don't think many are enjoying this and we all want to get some normality back think many people are enjoying preaching, everyone seems to have a degree in child development and knows children don’t need to leave the house.

WhenPidgeonsCry · 22/01/2021 13:54

My kid doesn't NEED to go to the supermarket (nor do I, I could get delivery) but both of us need to go SOMEWHERE occasionally, just for our own sanity. So yeah I take him. I like going, he likes going. I don't see it as a major risk.

HamSandwichKiller · 22/01/2021 13:54

The "you're so selfish" force is strong today. I don't know any parent willing to keep their children home for a whole year. With just their family for company.

It's actually horrific that anyone is suggesting that as an option for children of any age. Luckily in real life I don't know anyone who thinks like this. It must be exhausting to be this terrified.

Livpool · 22/01/2021 13:54

I have - and do sometimes. Do what works for you and your family

Lweji · 22/01/2021 13:55

It is more exposing him to the bright lights, sounds etc.

Do you really need to go to the supermarket for that?
And what do you think a very small child gains from that?

Do you think rural children who don't grow up near supermarkets are at a disadvantage?

How does lack of exposure to supermarket lights and sounds can possibly affect a child's development or life?

Lweji · 22/01/2021 13:55

@HamSandwichKiller

The "you're so selfish" force is strong today. I don't know any parent willing to keep their children home for a whole year. With just their family for company.

It's actually horrific that anyone is suggesting that as an option for children of any age. Luckily in real life I don't know anyone who thinks like this. It must be exhausting to be this terrified.

Again, who is telling anyone to keep children at home?
birthingball · 22/01/2021 13:56

I take mine as I cant afford to get an online delivery

Camomila · 22/01/2021 13:56

DH or I wait to the weekend and then go by ourselves. Although I would take them to Sainsburies local if we are out for a walk and just need bread/milk etc. DS2 stays in the pushchair and DS1 is old enough to not touch anything.

WhenPidgeonsCry · 22/01/2021 13:57

Don't you think it is sad if food shopping is the highlight of your toddler's week?

It actually is sad. I wish the highlight was his swimming lessons, his judo class, his football training, his music class, play-school, soft play, etc. etc. but guess what? All closed.

We go to the park/playground very regularly, so it's not really surprising that a trip to the supermarket is a welcome change!

Original poster
Whipituntilitpeaks · 22/01/2021 13:57

@SomersetHamlyn You sound nice.

No, I fact, it’s me that often feels I have to keep her away, whereas they encourage the children to have interaction, because how on earth can you in your right mind, say children can’t play with one another and stop them in that moment? That’s cruel, no?
Do you have kids?

OP posts:
Buddytheelf85 · 22/01/2021 14:00

I can’t believe this thread is 14 pages long.

The OP has a choice between going to the supermarket with her toddler at a quiet time or going by herself at a very busy time. Those are her two choices.

It sounds from the way the OP has described the rules in her area that anyone who can avoid doing their shopping at the weekend should, as a courtesy to working people who don’t have an option.

Clearly it is safer, both for her and for other shoppers, for her to go at a quieter time, and that means taking her toddler.

Original poster
Whipituntilitpeaks · 22/01/2021 14:01

@Whodofthunk Please read the thread, shops close at 1pm on weekends 💓

OP posts:
11MrsLuther · 22/01/2021 14:01

I didnt feel it entirely safe to leave him outside, hence I took him in to the shop. He is pretty trustworthy but not very traffic aware. If id sent him to school an extra day this week so I could shop in peace, im sure that wouldn't go down well on mumsnet either! The overwhelming majority of people are doing their best and just trying to get through these months.

formerbabe · 22/01/2021 14:01

Well I personally know a few women who have died from covid, but whatever

That's why I used the word "mainly" but whatever Hmm

Lweji · 22/01/2021 14:02

It actually is sad. I wish the highlight was his swimming lessons, his judo class, his football training, his music class, play-school, soft play, etc. etc. but guess what? All closed.

I know it's not the same, and without the other children around, but can you or do you do some of that at home? It could be at the same times he used to go, but with you.

This will not be forever, but we need to get through it as safely as possible. And at the moment, many communities are severely affected and a high risk.

TempsPerdu · 22/01/2021 14:03

Again, who is telling anyone to keep children at home?

@Lweji You are being disingenuous now. You know full well that the only places children can go right now are the park - or the shops.

Same4Walls · 22/01/2021 14:03

Clearly it is safer, both for her and for other shoppers, for her to go at a quieter time, and that means taking her toddler.

You'd think so! Nevertheless, as always theres plenty of posters still going on about how shes breaking the rules, not following the guidance, shopping alone is better no matter what the scenario etc. It's honestly like common sense does not exist anymore.

fireme · 22/01/2021 14:03

I'm a single parent, sometimes I have no choice but to take my 4 kids unfortunately but I do all I can to avoid it! I try to get deliveries and do any shopping when kids are with their dad. Personally I don't like taking them and hardly ever do.

hollyangel · 22/01/2021 14:03

@lweji Go and read all the data available here, it might make it all a bit clearer to you:

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/deaths/bulletins/deathsregisteredweeklyinenglandandwalesprovisional/weekending1january2021#deaths-registered-by-age-group

Nearly 75 percent of deaths are over 75.

Risks to children are absolutely minimal.

I have considered the risk and realised that my family is at far greater risk by staying at home.

If I were vulnerable, or my family was vulnerable. I would stay at home.

Child in the supermarket?
Whodofthunk · 22/01/2021 14:04

Children can leave the house, under 1s can see other people thanks to support bubbles, most older kids are in some live lessons or school, playgrounds have not been shut this time...I am at a total loss as to why not taking children to a flipping supermarket is such a massive issue. I don't live my life scared, but I do follow advice (not blindly), I want this over and keep doing my bit. If you ask me if YABU to flout advice then I will say yes without thinking twice. Off now, because the children have finished their school work and we are going outside where I will spend the walk apologising to them for not taking them on the food shop nowadays, poor blights Wink

DreamingInColours · 22/01/2021 14:07

@Lweji I appreciate your point about rural children and I'm not naïve enough to think we all grow up experiencing the same urban lifestyle.
However, the issue is that he is an urban child with no real urban exposure. Not only this, but without our weekly shopping trip he would have no exposure to his car seat, driving in our car, sitting in a trolley, being indoors somewhere that isn't his home etc. These are all things he will need to do daily when lockdown ends.
So, when lockdown (does finally!) end, I'd rather he have some experience to make him feel more settled when we e.g. go to a cafe or baby class.
On top of that, we both get incredibly bored and I use the supermarket as a learning experience and "fun" trip out for us both.
To me, the risk is minimal (both to us and others) and I'm comfortable with my decision.

MacDuffsMuff · 22/01/2021 14:10

@BarbaraofSeville

There are millions of other people in the same situation as you are who are doing the right thing

Yeah, they're all going at the weekend and queuing for ages and making the shop as crowded as possible. But at least they're following The Rules.....

I didn't say that was the right thing. Strangely, that is not the only time most people can go to a supermarket, or the only option for most. The OP says her DP works Mon - Fri and the supermarkets shuts at 8 where she is, so unless he's working 12 hour days 5 days a week (which he might, granted), she could go at another time. Like many other people do.

Not ideal, but none of this is.

formerbabe · 22/01/2021 14:11

Such a shame so many people on here seem to hate children. Never heard this sort of opposition when golf clubs reopened or even pubs. But you know, must keep the masters of the universe happy...

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