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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Child in the supermarket?

512 replies

Whipituntilitpeaks · 22/01/2021 08:51

Just curious, do you take your child/children with you when you go food shopping?
I’m currently a Sahm to my toddler Dd and always used go go early on a Monday morning, when barely anyone was there.
During the first lockdown, we stopped going and Dp would go on a Saturday morning.
Dp works Mon-Fri and often was there for hours queuing up etc, but back then he was the only one of us that went out (aside from walks in our field)
When it calmed down a little, I went back to doing it with my Dd, do you take yours?
For us, it helps dp as he obviously doesn’t mind at all, but after a long week at work, it’s not fun to do the big shop. It’s also some kind of normality in mine and DD’s life, but I’ve started to feel a bit worried about it. We’re not in the U.K. but cases are around the same number one more or less and some of my friends don’t take theirs into any shops
Aibu to still take her shopping or should dp or myself go alone on the weekend?

OP posts:
user1496146479 · 22/01/2021 13:13

@formerbabe

I don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks. It's not nazi Germany just yet, though give it time. My DD can't go to school, she can't go to her dance club, she can't go to brownies. She can't see her friends. She hasn't played with another child for over a month and won't for another month at least. She can't go swimming or play sports. She can't see relatives. So yep, if I want to take her to the supermarket to buy a bag of sweets and a magazine, I will.
Ease off the tantrums!!
SoupDragon · 22/01/2021 13:15

@Marzipan12

To the poster who said I'm using taking my teen as an excuse to carry shopping what a load of rubbish. I don't drive, I have several teens and I go once a week to cut down on risk. I cannot carry what potentially counts of food for 3 adults because that's what they eat, on my own once a week. I use to struggle alone but ended up doing my back in, I'm over 50. So I can either increase my risk by going twice a week and risk putting my back out again or I can take my very sensible teen with me to help.
Or you can get a trolley like my mother used to have when she shopped for the whole family.

The point is that you are using it as an excuse whilst berating the OP for using something as an excuse.

You ignored my final sentence though The reality is that provided people are doing their best in this difficult situation it is fine (IMO). Lots of people just take the piss though but the OP isn't one of them.

custardbear · 22/01/2021 13:15

Not RTFT but I go at 5am and kids are still asleep, as is DH, he gets up with them if they wake before I get home

Duemarch2021 · 22/01/2021 13:16

Personally i think youre over thinking.... yes take your child... she is a toddler and sits in the trolley. It sounds like youve had it anyway if you're worried about getring it and even if she stayed at home with your DH, if you caught it, you'd be taking it gome to them anyway. I think youre creating too much stress for yourself. Taking her isnt increasing anyone chances of getting it either. Taking a 7 year old attending school who runs around feeling everything is a slight different story... but then again if you have no child care, theres no choice if deliveries are scarse

Itsnotlikethiswithotherpeople · 22/01/2021 13:16

I've taken mine when I've not been able to get a delivery. They are good with hygiene and I don't see it's any more risky to others or myself because we share germs anyway. If they were of any age where they still touched their mouths and touched things, I'd strap them in, give them a toy and clean everything throughly before/ afterwards.

Whodofthunk · 22/01/2021 13:17

Single parent but I go once a fortnight alone when they see their dad. Get fruit and veg delivered and would beg friends and neighbours to drop off any emergency top ups. If they did not see their Dad then I would ask my support bubble to watch them whilst I went or just order all shopping for delivery.

HopeForTheBestExpectTheWorst · 22/01/2021 13:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn on request of the poster.

theantsgomarchin · 22/01/2021 13:18

No bollocks to that. DS comes with me when I go and anyone who says "children shouldn't be at the shops" either doesn't have children, or is being unnecessarily goady.

Yrneh · 22/01/2021 13:18

I always take mine with me and have the whole time. Risk wise, surely better to go when it's quiet, even with a child, than at the busiest time? Cant get delivery slots round here at the mo.

Natsku · 22/01/2021 13:20

I sometimes take my youngest into the shop with me, especially when its colder because it can't be pleasant waiting in the car in the cold (he waits with OH, who drives me to the shop and waits in the car but of course he can wear warmer clothing than DS in a carseat). He sits in the trolley and enjoys the change of scenery. Our numbers aren't anywhere near as bad as the UK though.

Fatas · 22/01/2021 13:23

Took my toddler with me last week as he wanted to come. Wiped trolley with antibacterial wipes, kept his gloves on to stop him licking his fingers. But our area in uk is fairly lowish compared to other areas and I figured if I catch it at the supermarket by going alone than he’ll catch it from me anyway!

He likes shopping, so when he asked to come I didn’t see a reason to say no. We went at 6.30 it’s a supermarket with massive aisles and not massively popular when it is busy. At that time of day there’s few people there. I say assess the risk and make your own mind up

Whodofthunk · 22/01/2021 13:23

The weekend is not all busy though, for example 8pm on a Saturday night is empty in mine, as opposed to 11am when it is undoubtedly busy.

There is not really a need to go in with anyone else, and I say this as a single parent. Sometimes it is far easier, but in 99% scenarios it is not the only option.

polkadotpixie · 22/01/2021 13:24

Yeah I take my 2 year old. I try not to let him touch anything although I did catch him licking the self serve whilst I was paying last time and he doesn't go to nursery or anything so I'm sure I'm a much bigger risk than he is

Lippyheaven · 22/01/2021 13:24

This reply has been deleted

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Same4Walls · 22/01/2021 13:25

The weekend is not all busy though, for example 8pm on a Saturday night is empty in mine, as opposed to 11am when it is undoubtedly busy.

Where you live that might be true but it's not the same everywhere.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 22/01/2021 13:25

@Whodofthunk

Single parent but I go once a fortnight alone when they see their dad. Get fruit and veg delivered and would beg friends and neighbours to drop off any emergency top ups. If they did not see their Dad then I would ask my support bubble to watch them whilst I went or just order all shopping for delivery.
Wouldn’t it be easier to just go to a shop than to beg people for food
PickAChew · 22/01/2021 13:25

Tbh, if I had a small child who couldn't be left alone, I'd rather take them with me during a quiet time, during the week, than join the hoards all needing to shop on a weekend because they work weekdays.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 22/01/2021 13:26

@Lippyheaven

People are so ignorant to the whole situation, plenty just don’t like being told what to do. The rules are clear at the end of the day. If it was your loved one on a mortuary slab, I can tell you now it would be a different story. There are plenty of smart arse answers but I don’t know why you have posted this op as you know this thread would cause an argument plus you will be doing it anyway along with the other selfish self centred parents out there. With no thought to anyone else.
Oh do grow up, of course we’d all sacrifice everyone for our loved ones lives, in reality it makes no sense. Am I going to keep my child in the house for a year in case a 90 yr old person dies- fuck no!
Whodofthunk · 22/01/2021 13:28

@Same4Walls

The weekend is not all busy though, for example 8pm on a Saturday night is empty in mine, as opposed to 11am when it is undoubtedly busy.

Where you live that might be true but it's not the same everywhere.

Sorry, you are right, it will be heaving busy at all hours, except that magic quiet time you go with your child Hmm

Google shows a good indication of when places are likely to be busiest if you look.

11MrsLuther · 22/01/2021 13:29

I get deliveries if I can for main shop but yes I would take a child if needes. I took my 9 year old today as I am off and we needed shopping. I suppose I could have made him wait outside but I don't 100% trust him to wait sensibly, and its a car park, and I can't see the risk is any higher than him being in school, which he is 3 days a week The supermarket was dead anyway.

Whodofthunk · 22/01/2021 13:30

I go to the shop, alone. Following advice. If I happened to need top ups that I had not planned for then why wouldn't I ask local friends and neighbours if they were already going shopping? Ok 'beg' is a strong word, you clearly took literally.

Same4Walls · 22/01/2021 13:32

Sorry, you are right, it will be heaving busy at all hours, except that magic quiet time you go with your child

No need for the attitude and sarcasm. I was merely pointing out that the OP is the best person to know when her local supermarket will be busy and stating the times your supermarket was busy isn't exactly helpful. If she knew it would be quiet at a time when just her or her husband could go alone I'm sure she would have just done it then.

Whodofthunk · 22/01/2021 13:32

@Whodofthunk

I go to the shop, alone. Following advice. If I happened to need top ups that I had not planned for then why wouldn't I ask local friends and neighbours if they were already going shopping? Ok 'beg' is a strong word, you clearly took literally.
For @OnlyFoolsnMothers
Whodofthunk · 22/01/2021 13:33

@Same4Walls

Sorry, you are right, it will be heaving busy at all hours, except that magic quiet time you go with your child

No need for the attitude and sarcasm. I was merely pointing out that the OP is the best person to know when her local supermarket will be busy and stating the times your supermarket was busy isn't exactly helpful. If she knew it would be quiet at a time when just her or her husband could go alone I'm sure she would have just done it then.

Which is why I said for example, and began it by saying not all weekend will be busy. People on here, including the OP, are making excuses to trot their child out against guidance.
SendHelp30 · 22/01/2021 13:35

I go in the evening when DH is home to stay with the DC

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