Home-schooling pushed ex-Marine to "breaking point"

[Ori2021]

Has anyone else read this story on BBC news? Parents are victims of this pandemic too. The toll on parent's mental health is really bad; this article just highlights it. I don't know what could be done to support people like this man, and parents in general like me, but I find it amazing that parents have just been told "get on with it," and quite literally, flung under the bus. It's damaging people's relationships with their own children.

Good on this man for telling the truth about his experience. It is AWFUL trying to home-school, and work at the same time. Some people are managing well, and hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel but I do think the Govt. need to think of a way to recognise the daily struggle that parents and families and their children are facing.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-55723022

[quote OhCaptain]@GoldenOmber you do it the same way we all do.

You schedule your meetings, fit in schoolwork around them, plonk the kid in front of something that you hope will occupy them long enough, and hope for the best![/quote]
Don't you have to log in to school at specific times for registration and lessons? Is it acceptable in your job to tell your colleagues that you can't make the 9am meeting as you have to log in for registration and year 1 maths?

So as long as he doesn’t need to spend any time feeding his children, supervising them, getting them outdoors exercise, explaining what to do if they’re not paying attention and telling them off if they’re misbehaving, it’s fine? Isn't this just normal parenting?

Literally flung under a bus?🤦🏻‍♀️

The Government aren't doing great, but I think this is a bit far even for the Tories...

@Positivevibesonlyplease

So as long as he doesn’t need to spend any time feeding his children, supervising them, getting them outdoors exercise, explaining what to do if they’re not paying attention and telling them off if they’re misbehaving, it’s fine? Isn't this just normal parenting?

Yes, which we usually aren’t doing at the same time as our paid jobs.

Don't you have to log in to school at specific times for registration and lessons?

No. Eldest in secondary does. He's old enough to get himself online and registered as long as I've woken him because he's a teenager.

Is it acceptable in your job to tell your colleagues that you can't make the 9am meeting as you have to log in for registration and year 1 maths?

Yes. Because I'm a working parent in a pandemic.

I think homeschooling is really hard, but I also think it is a bit of a stretch to think that homeschooling is solely responsible for an ex-serviceman who has suffered life changing injuries having difficulty with his mental health.

I home educate my 3 DC (have done for years) and I do not know how parents are expected to WFH as well as oversee the home learning.

I’m a SAHM so devote all my time etc to the DC. I take my hat off to all you Mums (and dads!) trying to juggle your own work with this. I could not do it.

I just hope the government and schools can come up with something better that doesn’t affect families so badly. I hate to keep hearing it’s coming between parents and children and causing so much stress

to you if you’re struggling.

I've rather lost the thread of the thread i'm afraid. i read first few pages then fell asleep as exhausted (usual reasons, work, dc, stress). seems to be about employers not being flexible enough and mainly women having to juggle impossibly, whilst some bloke gets a lot of attention for struggling? covid is hitting working mums disproportionately obv. yes the gov is probably sexist anyway so haven't bothered to force employers to be more flexible. but hey we can't change that (I didn't vote for them they're still the nasty party imo).
I have issues with actual "teaching" - so much jargon and methodology!! too much input required from me, can't work, can't teach, arfh.

YANBU

Everyone is struggling in many different ways

This article gives an insight into one family's struggle

@OhCaptain

Don't you have to log in to school at specific times for registration and lessons?

No. Eldest in secondary does. He's old enough to get himself online and registered as long as I've woken him because he's a teenager.

Is it acceptable in your job to tell your colleagues that you can't make the 9am meeting as you have to log in for registration and year 1 maths?

Yes. Because I'm a working parent in a pandemic.

I get the impression that some primaries are doing live lessons that need to be watched at specific times and that many employers aren't being as flexible as they should be.

This man is physically disabled which will have made the whole thing so much harder too. I find home-schooling my 3 (1 who has a learning disability and another who can't seem to learn for reasons unknown) really exhausting and I am lucky enough to be able to do my work on weekends.

It is really fucking hard and I feel done in today. The 7 year old started crying during the online session because he is at least two years behind his class mates and he can see they are so much more able than him.

I was shit at school and hated every minute of it. It is bringing back all that sadness coupled with the abuse I suffered at home. Luckily we have a happy home so I keep trying to remind myself that my experience was different and ds will be ok.

I know that I need to keep going and don't expect help but fucking hell, this is HARD.

@user1174147897

I don't think there is any segment of society left who hasn't had a mumsnet thread declaring "they have been thrown under the bus" .

So many buses...

This.

I get the impression that some primaries are doing live lessons that need to be watched at specific times and that many employers aren't being as flexible as they should be.

Both my dc’s schools are doing live lessons but sent an email to say that they understand it’s not always possible for dc to attend all lessons in the current climate and that teachers will make work available so no child falls behind.

Regarding flexibility of companies - maybe they’re just more understanding on the whole in my country but I haven’t heard of anyone who hasn’t been able to get some level of understanding from their employers.

@homeedder1979 that is a lovely post.

Respect to you for home schooling 3 dc I have no idea how you manage. Now I see what's involved, I am 100% sure I will never voluntarily homeschool my kids

GoldenOmber if you have a toddler home too it does sound extremely hard. If you have to be in calls a lot of the day sounds near impossible. Are you splitting it with an Dh / Dp?

Homeschooling is killing me. I've aged 20 years in 2 weeks. I am on the verge of breakdown. My and DC's dad's mental health is shot. Our DC are getting very little education, despite our best efforts. Our family relationships are being put under huge strain. The house is s tip as only basic essential tasks get done. I'm a supporter of lockdown, and I don't know the answer, but some light needs to be shed on what we are going through.

I need to fit in my full-time working week into evenings and weekends, while DC's dad needs to work full-time office hours plus extra long hours. I work all Sat and Sun, plus - after full day of childcare, homeschooling and chores - work evenings until 1/2am. I am beyond exhausted. Homeschooling and having DC home all day every day (no playdates etc) creates a lot of stressful times all day long. Our school has provided very little homeschooling material - mainly links to BBC Bitesize (virtually useless), less than 2hrs/wk live video with the teacher/class. So it is mostly left up to us.

It infuriates me that the plight of parents is being ignored and we are expected to cope with this for weeks/months. Even on Mumsnet the other day I was told that my experience must not be the norm because 'otherwise we'd be hearing more about it'. Well - I'm here to tell people about it. Well done that man for speaking out.

Exactly we don't do it at the same time as work. I'd never ordinarily work with my children at home as it's not fair on them they need more attention I normally lay for them to go to a lovely summer camp Which they enjoy

Prior to this, I'd never worked with them all at home even without home schooling

There are only so many hours in a day. We work 8. It's not possible to do work or school very decently and it's certainly not sustainable

Great for you if you are managing fine, and like to use that fact to bat at people telling you they struggle with it.

@MarshaBradyo

GoldenOmber if you have a toddler home too it does sound extremely hard. If you have to be in calls a lot of the day sounds near impossible. Are you splitting it with an Dh / Dp?

Yes, we’re both able to WFH so it’s easier than many have it in that sense. Employers pretty gracious about having children crash calls too.

I don't think there is any segment of society left who hasn't had a mumsnet thread declaring "they have been thrown under the bus"

So many buses...

Well all that is telling you is that this shit storm has hit an awful lot of people really badly. Not sure why you feel the need to make sardonic comments about this.

Exactly.

It's been hideous for so many people - surely everyone has the right to speak of their experiences? It's not a surprise on a parenting site that schooling and children feature heavily

Schools have upped their game because parents felt schools weren’t doing enough. We are told to do live lessons, so that’s what we are doing. Now parents are complaining about that too. It’s an awful situation for everyone and I think we just have to be honest and empathic. Everyone appears to be doing their best.

The idea that people can’t talk about what’s going on is crazy. Everyone else fine but a post re homeschool and oh no not on.

@MrsBobDylan

😂 I get it I really do.

The thing is, and at the risk of sounding annoying, we do our home edding VERY differently to how it’s being done to everyone right now.

And we definitely don’t sit at the kitchen table 5 days a week! I’d go mad, we all would. We go out a LOT, I regularly pack them off to forest schools and sports classes etc, some where I stay, many where I don’t lol. Also the grandparents help quite a bit with things like practical skills; baking, cooking, woodwork, art stuff. I’m very very fortunate in that sense.

It is not possible for the vast majority of us to combine paid work and effective home education
This.
And yet people are trying to do it.
I am s teacher and if my children were still school age I would just not do it! Just get them reading or playing instead.

@EmmanuelleMakro Yes. The absolute most important thing ANYONE can do for their child educationally is ensure that they read regularly. That’s the bare minimum IMO.