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Original poster

Home-schooling pushed ex-Marine to "breaking point"

226 replies

Ori2021 · 20/01/2021 11:16

Has anyone else read this story on BBC news? Parents are victims of this pandemic too. The toll on parent's mental health is really bad; this article just highlights it. I don't know what could be done to support people like this man, and parents in general like me, but I find it amazing that parents have just been told "get on with it," and quite literally, flung under the bus. It's damaging people's relationships with their own children.

Good on this man for telling the truth about his experience. It is AWFUL trying to home-school, and work at the same time. Some people are managing well, and hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel but I do think the Govt. need to think of a way to recognise the daily struggle that parents and families and their children are facing.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-55723022

OP posts:
GoldenOmber · 20/01/2021 15:24

I don’t think everyone does know how shut it is, no. Certainly on here there are a LOT of people who think that homeschooling while working is all fine and doable and parents are just being dramatic about it, or that the only reason anyone would say it’s difficult is because they’re pushing an agenda to get schools back without safety measures.

There was someone on a thread about nurseries the other week who couldn’t fathom why anyone couldn’t work from home well with a toddler, because she thought people WFH were all in “admin type jobs” that could be done in a couple of hours in the evening.

Many people do not have a clue how hard it is for anyone who’s not them, and get quite grumpy if asked to look beyond the end of their own nose.

Guineapig99 · 20/01/2021 15:27

'"Yoohoo, Mr Quadruple Amputee? We've got some mums over here who think you're making a big fuss about nothing. What's that? No, they're fine, no war trauma and they've mostly got all their limbs. They're just pretty sure they know better."

Oh give over, that's not what it's about. If it was story about his service/ sacrifice/recover etc. no-one would be disagreeing with him but saying homeschooling is once of the most traumatic things you've done, in a national paper is just asking for trouble... and that's from someone who is loathing ever minute of it.

Icantrememebrtheartist · 20/01/2021 15:28

There was a thread on here yesterday from a single person saying the pandemic is harder for single people and I said I didn’t agree. I think it’s harder for parents having to homeschool and work full time from home if you have a DP who is out all day so you’re doing it all on your own and the vitriol I received was appalling. I came off the thread after being told I had no emotional intelligence, was kicking someone who is clearly down and was smug for having children and a partner.

Ive decided to come off mumsnet for a while this is my last post, because most threads seem to become a nasty birchfesr lately.

OwMyNeck · 20/01/2021 15:28

Certainly on here there are a LOT of people who think that homeschooling while working is all fine and doable and parents are just being dramatic about it

Some of them saying it are actually doing it, and can say it.

ladyvimes · 20/01/2021 15:29

As a teacher I only expect my parents to do their best. If you’re working full time from home it’s nigh on impossible to home school as well and I totally appreciate this. It’s all very well the dfe harping on about continuing the curriculum but realistically this is not going to happen at all and national data will reflect this.
Please don’t stress if you don’t feel like your children are not getting much done. We are doing this to save the nations health and that is what you need to prioritise - including you and your family’s mental health.
It will be over eventually and children will catch up and that is for teachers to worry about once they’re back at school!

GoldenOmber · 20/01/2021 15:32

@OwMyNeck

Certainly on here there are a LOT of people who think that homeschooling while working is all fine and doable and parents are just being dramatic about it

Some of them saying it are actually doing it, and can say it.

Yes, because they are not in the same situation as people who are struggling with it. And like I said, people are reluctant to the point of being utterly incapable of understanding that not everyone is in their position.

“Well I’m managing to homeschool my one independent hardworking 11-year-old just fine around my 6 hours per week flexible hours job, so I don’t know why other working people who homeschool are moaning!”

OhCaptain · 20/01/2021 15:38

The hyperbole probably isn't helping.

Claiming that he couldn't get dressed because of the learning schedule is honestly ridiculous.

Two adults home schooling two children isn't the worst situation to be in!

It IS shit. I'm struggling. Everyone I know is struggling. But making OTT dramatic statements like that just means it's hard to take him seriously, IMO.

Itsnotlikethiswithotherpeople · 20/01/2021 15:46

@MirandaWestsNewBFF

Personally I don’t think it is even vaguely possible to homeschool and work at the same time. If you need to homeschool then one parent should be on 100% furlough. It’s just not sustainable or arguably even safe any other way. Don’t @ me on this. Better government handling of the pandemic wouldn’t have put us back exactly where we were a year later.
Agreed!
OwMyNeck · 20/01/2021 15:46

Yes, because they are not in the same situation as people who are struggling with it

Some of them are though. Some people are saying they can't homeschool one 5 year old and work part time, some are saying they are cracking on ok with 5 kids and a full time shift work.

Not everyone who complains about struggling is objectively worse, at all. Some people complain about literally anything.

OwMyNeck · 20/01/2021 15:46

Personally I don’t think it is even vaguely possible to homeschool and work at the same time

It is though. Lots of us are doing it!

HauntedPencil · 20/01/2021 15:48

@OwMyNeck

Personally I don’t think it is even vaguely possible to homeschool and work at the same time

It is though. Lots of us are doing it!

It might be for some and not others?!?
marshmallowfluffy · 20/01/2021 15:50

I have noticed that many people seem to forget that their circumstances are unique to them and that they may have circumstances that put them at an advantage. Things are shit and unequal. I'm sorry but the person who told the single person that being a couple and homeschooling is worse is a dick. Both are difficult for different reasons and you've failed to see the positive in your situation like a partner who lightens the load (even if they work long hours) and non-work days where you have face to face company.

A major bugbear is when people say they've stayed at home since March so everybody else should too- you only managed to do that because people went to work and kept the utilities going and delivered shopping to you. If you were shielding then that's shit and lonely but you can't assume that everybody who's out is taking the piss and partying or whatever.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 20/01/2021 15:51

Well why does he get an article ?
He is hardly unique ! I’ll admit no limbs and PTSD ain’t helping much either , poor fella
But this is most of us , right ???

And why blame the gov

People do realise this is global right ? Everyone is facing this !!!!
You think Spain , France and italy
Are having fun ? No

Love2cycle · 20/01/2021 15:51

I'm a keyworker who can't work from home.
However, my 3 year old son was sick for one day and I was allowed to stay home and do some online work related learning. From that ONE day, I can understand it must be hell for those who have to do it long term.

GoldenOmber · 20/01/2021 15:53

@OwMyNeck

Personally I don’t think it is even vaguely possible to homeschool and work at the same time

It is though. Lots of us are doing it!

Go on then, share your tips. How do I have a conference call with 20 people about a bunch of complicated spreadsheets at the same time as teaching phonics to a 5-year-old?
GoldenOmber · 20/01/2021 15:55

(I’m not even being sarcastic there, I’m due to go back to my normal working pattern shortly and if there is indeed a way to do that and homeschool and not fail at both I would LOVE to know.)

Fortherosesjoni70 · 20/01/2021 16:01

@slashlover

There is one line in your OP saying good on this man. Everything else is about how difficult it is, parents are victims of the pandemic and are quite literally flung under a bus.
To me, its just pushing an agenda. Business want schools back. They have no regard to safety of your child etc. Its suits the narrative of putting pressure for schools return regardless. Its a lot of shit.
Thisisworsethananticpated · 20/01/2021 16:01

GoldenOmber

Well you don’t ! You just block hourly slots here and there to do what you can
And explain to teachers that you
Are doing what you can , but they can’t Make every meeting and deadline
It’s exhausting and shit
But it’s possible

MotherOfSuburbia · 20/01/2021 16:03

I don't think anybody would question that the whole thing is awful. Trying to work and homeschool children is really, really tough. Nobody can do both things perfectly and you need to make your peace with that, finding your own balance of which balls to drop to make your own family situation tick along as best as you can.
I find the idea of parents being 'victims' difficult though - like there is someone to blame. I don't think looking at it in this way is going to help anyone accept the situation.

OhCaptain · 20/01/2021 16:03

@GoldenOmber you do it the same way we all do.

You schedule your meetings, fit in schoolwork around them, plonk the kid in front of something that you hope will occupy them long enough, and hope for the best!

Fortherosesjoni70 · 20/01/2021 16:03

And before anyone jumps down my throat. I'm not saying that home school is easy. Far from it. I don't believe this piece of reporting is to highlight that concern. It is an insidious way to push an agenda.

heidipi · 20/01/2021 16:07

"I'm not sure how parents don't realise there is a chance they might have to look after their children at home, a pandemic has been expected for some time."

Hahahahahaha this is the covid version of the MN mantra "school isn't childcare" yeah absolutely all families should keep a parent at home all the time just in case of a pandemic. Single parents should mention to the job centre that they can't apply for any jobs in case of a pandemic. Women should not have any big ideas about working after they have kids in case of a pandemic. If both parents do work they should employ a nanny to cover school hours just in case of a pandemic. WTF

Thisisworsethananticpated · 20/01/2021 16:07

I find the idea of parents being 'victims' difficult though - like there is someone to blame. I don't think looking at it in this way is going to help anyone accept the situation

Oh I so agree 100000%

I’d rather be a parent working and homeschooling than facing what some people are up against.
Yea it’s hard and stressful , not
Denying it
But I don’t think as
A generation we cope very well with any adversity

Always someone to Blame etc

It’s a fucking global pandemic
Everyone is screwed

GoldenOmber · 20/01/2021 16:07

[quote OhCaptain]@GoldenOmber you do it the same way we all do.

You schedule your meetings, fit in schoolwork around them, plonk the kid in front of something that you hope will occupy them long enough, and hope for the best![/quote]
Yes, that is what I’ve been doing on my normal work days, alongside working into the evenings/weekends and basically ignoring the kids (I am in Scotland so my toddler’s here as well).

But the PP seemed to think it was possible to both homeschool and work at the same time, rather than just muddle along by meeting the minimum standards I’ve been managing so far. So if she really has cracked it, I would like her to share with the rest of us?

GoldenOmber · 20/01/2021 16:08

@Fortherosesjoni70

And before anyone jumps down my throat. I'm not saying that home school is easy. Far from it. I don't believe this piece of reporting is to highlight that concern. It is an insidious way to push an agenda.
Please let us know the acceptable way we can say “this is incredibly hard and stressful” without being accused of pushing an agenda?