Home-schooling pushed ex-Marine to "breaking point"

[Ori2021]

Has anyone else read this story on BBC news? Parents are victims of this pandemic too. The toll on parent's mental health is really bad; this article just highlights it. I don't know what could be done to support people like this man, and parents in general like me, but I find it amazing that parents have just been told "get on with it," and quite literally, flung under the bus. It's damaging people's relationships with their own children.

Good on this man for telling the truth about his experience. It is AWFUL trying to home-school, and work at the same time. Some people are managing well, and hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel but I do think the Govt. need to think of a way to recognise the daily struggle that parents and families and their children are facing.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-55723022

but I do think the Govt. need to think of a way to recognise the daily struggle that parents and families and their children are facing

Everyone is really struggling at the moment-my elderly parents seem really down, my WFH for nearly a year DH seems depressed, the kids miss their friends.

What do you want the government to do, though? What sort of ‘ways’ could they think of that would help?

I’m sure they do recognise things are hard-not just for parents, for everyone, but at the moment, people can’t all go out to work and they can’t fully open the schools.

So many people including myself is struggling more so than last time.

It sucks. Parents have been thrown into the deep end.

I know parents that seem to enjoy home learning and having them home, baking etc. I love my kids but I don’t enjoy having them home for so long. They have sen which makes it a little sharper again. I feel guilty when I see other parents loving it all. Whereas I’m barely functioning and getting through each day. We got a little work done this morning but DS is quiet watching Lego videos on YouTube so I’m letting him do it. He’s quiet and I’m enjoying the peace!

I do think employers could be a bit more understanding.
Mine make all the right noises, but I,m one level below c-suite and the message from on top is that you WILL continue to deliver.
Which means - for me - 12hr days with no meal breaks. Which means letting the children get on with it. It's not right. They are 11 and 13. They need to be able to speak to me at least, not just see me on conference calls.

I've signed off sick with stress. A bit of understanding and asking what was possible rather than just throwing more work at me would have been nice. It's not like they didn't know I am on my own with the children. I did that with my team, which meant me picking up the slack.

Anyway. Employers need to be proactive from the very top at ensuring people can manage.

How exactly can the government change the situation? I’m not the biggest BoJo&Co fan but why do they have to be the scapegoat because people are struggling?

It baffles me, it’s a global pandemic, we are in a very privileged position of being in the UK instead of places like Russia or South America where the situation is extremely grim with poor healthcare systems and political corruption.

Yet here in the UK they whinge about Homeschooling, you’d think it was working in a sweatshop for 12 hours a day for 50p the way it’s spun sometimes.

Why is it not okay to say we are struggling? Why do people have to continually compare types of struggling and imply we should suck it up because some other people in the world are worse off?

There is a balance between them not missing out on education vs not being stressed/overwhelmed at home.

I personally think that it should be more relaxed like the first lockdown but too many people complained that their children were missing out on a good education.

As a teacher it kills me that I have to give sanctions to students who haven’t completed their work knowing how difficult it is.

I find it difficult in normal situations when my secondary school aged pupils can barely read. So I would say scrap the curriculum and give out books to read and answer questions a on. And have lessons that involve doing some exercise and learning about cooking, cleaning, nature etc

@NoseinBook3

Why is it not okay to say we are struggling? Why do people have to continually compare types of struggling and imply we should suck it up because some other people in the world are worse off?

It’s absolutely fine to say you’re struggling-I think we all are.

I don’t really understand what plan the OP wants the government to have to particularly single out parents and carers and recognise the struggle they have, though. It’s so hard for so many people. I’m sure the government get this.

The reality is it is a total non-story. It is the story of millions of people right now. 2 parent family has to fit in homeschooling and their own work from home. There are people worse off and people better off. I am not sure what the actual purpose of reporting on what this one family is going through is.

This.
There seems to be an underlying agenda with all these stories to push DCs back into school even though that will prolong all of the issues and mean we're stuck in a cycle of lockdowns for even longer.

I completely agree with both of these.

So many people including myself is struggling more so than last time.

This time it is stricter and there is an expectation to do the work or be penalised for it whereas before it was try your best.

I don’t think the time of year helps either.
Last time we would go for a walk on our lunch break and got a lot more exercise.
This time it is constantly raining at lunchtime and at the end of the day it’s dark so you don’t want to go out as much.

It's really hard trying to WFH and home schooling but what is even harder is when your child doesn't even want the help you are trying to offer them! Then you are left feeling guilty that a UKS2 child is getting no teaching at school but also none of the benefits that some one on one tuition would bring.

There seems to be an underlying agenda with all these stories to push DCs back into school even though that will prolong all of the issues and mean we're stuck in a cycle of lockdowns for even longer.

U4T have regular columns in places like the Mail
and Telegraph and this is supposed to be one of those stories that are designed to make the teachers and unions look bad by pushing for a return to school prematurely.

Maybe the problem isn't trying to home school children, but trying to home educate children under the confines, obligations, and restraints of the National Curriculum?

If parents were to teach according to their own timetable and to educate according to their children's interests we may find family life remarkably improved in these troubled times.

I don’t see why these stories can’t be in the press?

I don’t read them but we get every other kind of angle going why not this one. It’s a reality for many parents atm. Harder if you have to wfh / have toddler

@user1174147897
so many busses

had me in stitches

I don’t really understand what plan the OP wants the government to have to particularly single out parents and carers and recognise the struggle they have

I’m not the OP, but since you ask what government could do, here’s what I’d want:

Recognise that parents cannot effectively homeschool (or care for toddlers/babies here in Scotland) and work at the same time. Properly face the issue. It would be easier if parents could all do this easily, but that is not the case. So step 1: recognise there is a problem here to solve.

Step 2: define what the problem is.
If parents can’t work and homeschool effectively, then for a lot of families either children’s education will lose out or family finances will or employed will. So that’s three problems to solve.

Step 3: draw up some specific solutions to those problems that’ll limit the damage. For example:

• children will lose out on education: put more resources into the education system to properly support remote teaching and support the children who’ll need that additional help when they come back. Don’t expect teachers to just manage it by magic with no extra help as well as everything else

• parents will lose out on income: introduce paid parental leave, reduce employer contributions to furlough. Won’t help everyone, will help a fair number thought.

• employers will suffer: more targeted support for employers whose businesses are now limited by employers trying to care for children. Treat them the same for grants and support purposes as businesses who aren’t legally allowed to operate to capacity. Again, won’t help everyone, but will help many.

That’s just a few ideas odd the tip of my head of things that might help, a bit. And of course what would
Also help hugely is setting out a plan for schools to reopen safely and sustainably, and properly resourcing that.

What won’t help: repeatedly wishing parents would just shut up about this so that the problem goes away, or implying that they’re all being whiny and dramatic, or accusing people who talk about this of having unstated agendas they’re being dishonest about.

I’m not sure of the relevance of the “ex-Marine” angle

They've purposely picked a man who had a tough job rather than find a similar woman. I think that this is relevant as women are more likely the ones homeschooling. I bet that they could have found a teacher who is teaching from home and looking after a small child to make their point but they've been so critical of teachers that they wouldn't get any sympathy.

If you're a teaching from home and looking after a child you probably have your students sympathy. One of my teen's teachers has had to give shorter lessons because the young child can't cope for a whole one and she says she's glad that she doesn't have to study while a little kid shouts for her.

Of course it's shit but it is what it is. The government didn't make schools to prep for this very predictable lockdown or state that all schools must have full time Zoom teaching, they won't be sending kids back to school any time soon because the NHS is struggling and people still need to work to keep things going.

We just have to keep going on.

My DS is 12 and hes had 2 live lessons today, he isn't motivated and I cant blame him, I'm working full time and am at breaking point where I feel like saying dont bother anymore.

You're not wrong GoldenOmber but the government has repeatedly refused to invest in education and are desperately and unfairly trying to cut the furlough bill by pretending parents don't need proper help and protection. I've definitely heard Johnson say employers need to be fair and flexible but not compelled them to do so.

It is gobsmacking how many people will use the vulnerable kids argument to benefit their non-vulnerable kids and were totally ok with some kids getting haphazard education last term because their kids were fine.

Not really sure what the marine bit has to do with it, hardly makes him more able to teach or less likely to face emotional difficulties.

The thing is SO many people complained about schools not being safe and begged for them to close over and over again and now its a never ending new cycle about how hard it is and they should go back. It is exhausting to listen to.

@luxxlisbon

The thing is SO many people complained about schools not being safe and begged for them to close over and over again and now its a never ending new cycle about how hard it is and they should go back. It is exhausting to listen to.

Probably not same people - most of the time anyway

I don’t understand how he is a key worker this time round but wasn’t last time. I’m also surprised that his employer- a charity- wasn’t able to make more allowances when he was working from home and trying to home school at the same time.

@HaveringWavering

I don’t understand how he is a key worker this time round but wasn’t last time. I’m also surprised that his employer- a charity- wasn’t able to make more allowances when he was working from home and trying to home school at the same time.

Many charities are under huge amounts of pressure at the moment, and often aren’t able to access furlough because of staff being paid through public funds.

Everyone knows how shit it is, and I keep seeing hundreds of posts on here about how everything is being done wrong, and they should do this, and that, and the other, whatever it is it should be done differently.

Unfortunately, many of them express completely opposite views to one another as to how to go about it instead.

Hardly surprising then, that whatever the government does, people will complain anyway.