To have lost all motivation for anything

[Pleidiolwyfimgwlad]

Is the endlessness of lockdown getting to anyone else? I seem to have lost all motivation for tidying the house, cooking, homeschooling, my job - all of it.

Me & the kids walk every day but that’s about it - it’s the relentlessness of it all that’s really getting to me I think. I just want to sit about eating toast & sleeping- I’d take to my bed if I didn’t have kids to look after.

I have quite a big job at a uni too and even the thought of it makes me feel depressed. It’s awful- I am fed up of my colleagues and they are lovely people so I feel bad.

Aibu to have just lost all mojo? I don’t think I am depressed- just OVER it all- I don’t even know what I need at the moment!

Same same.
It’s so hard to stay motivated. I’m wfh ft and also have a job which is usually interesting, but I’m just going through the motions. Clock watching until I can end the day and stop the pretence of productivity.

Last lockdown, I worked relentlessly with no lack of motivation. Very different this time.

Common phrases in the day:
Fuck off - to emails, messages, calls
CBA - to any tasks
What is wrong with me? To myself

I went for a run by the sea the other day and a huge wave looped up over the sea wall and drenched me. It was the most exhilarating thing I’d experienced in months and I felt momentarily alive again.

Same here. Struggling this time with it. Lack of motivation, not sleeping well. Fed up of thinking what to cook then cooking it. Bored of being bored and want to start living again. Eugh.

I have found my people. At least in December I had the small glimmer of seeing my family, and for a brief moment, life was normal. My dad cracking jokes, my mum and me clearing the dishes after Christmas, my DP and DB chatting away.
Watching jools Holland on NYE I just burst into tears, felt so alone, so much lost, feel like this could be the slow burn out of humanity.
Since then I've eaten biscuits for breakfast, the gyms closed so haven't been exercising, tried to run but feck that it's awful and I'm shit at it. Trying to plan a wedding for summer, feeling ridiculous to hope it can go ahead how we planned .
Having to work all day with other people's problems leaves little space for my own.
I just don't care. I feel crap about myself, I'm so wobbly.
Glad it's not just me.
Let's raise a to each other.

@notalwaysalondoner totally the same.
I’m on MN non stop too, from morning til night.
My screen time most days is over 5 hours!
I’m self employed, and struggling to motivate myself as well as keep DD on track with school work.
She’s ‘flat’ too, and doesn’t seem excited by anything, even all the stuff she got for Christmas is left on the shelf.
I’m not anxious or scared about the actual virus, or of catching it, just totally bored and flat.

None of you are being unreasonable - everything is shit right now.

I have the attention span of a mayfly and no interest in anything much except the nearest bag of popcorn or packet of biscuits. I do get out for a walk every day, sometimes just 15 minutes, but it's not done for pleasure but fear that my muscles will dissolve from under use.

Just about everyone I know is becoming impatient and bored, and even the most easy-going person I know is fed up. I get irrationally angry at the sight of "we're all in this together" or "hang on just a little longer" messages because they are meaningless.

I'm under-stimulated, bored, and have nothing to look forward to. It is grim, and there's no point in trying to say otherwise.

Shame you don't garden/have a garden. I am thinking about when to get seeds started, (already bought most of them), whether there is leaf mould under the trees (to add to soil), which flower seeds might be nice for a change (if they don't get eaten by slugs, voles, birds). What to put in tubs. Should I bother with turnips again (never successful), which hydrangea might be best when I buy it online ..........

Really sorry everyone is feeling this way but also this has made me feel better about my lack of motivation and energy.

I’m ashamed to say there were parts of the first lockdown I actually enjoyed. I needed a break from the pace of life and I was granted in - with sunshine to boot.

This time...at least I have a work routine (although totally altered) but I feel I am wading through treacle all the time. I am permanently exhausted and feel flabby and unfit despite exercising.

I really thought it was just me and have kept my feelings to myself because I was so pragmatic last time about it all.

Would anyone who uses a light box recommend a decent one please? I am clutching at straws but I want something to pin my hopes on!! Thank you all.

@Pleidiolwyfimgwlad

Is the endlessness of lockdown getting to anyone else? I seem to have lost all motivation for tidying the house, cooking, homeschooling, my job - all of it.

Me & the kids walk every day but that’s about it - it’s the relentlessness of it all that’s really getting to me I think. I just want to sit about eating toast & sleeping- I’d take to my bed if I didn’t have kids to look after.

I have quite a big job at a uni too and even the thought of it makes me feel depressed. It’s awful- I am fed up of my colleagues and they are lovely people so I feel bad.

Aibu to have just lost all mojo? I don’t think I am depressed- just OVER it all- I don’t even know what I need at the moment!

My sympathies - working in Universities at the moment is bloody difficult. The Government has thrown us under a bus. I know exactly how you feel

Big fat miserable slug here too. Sick of the sound of my colleagues talking shit on video calls every bastard morning which make no actual difference to anyone’s day, hate my stupid crap manager, house is disgusting because I can’t be bothered to do anything about it. Haven’t even saved any money because I keep buying crap.

I've found my people. I make sure I get some daylight, I see a friend on state sanctioned walks and runs, I'm off alcohol and chocolate for January to stabilise my mood, and still I feel like a big flat nothing.

I've started to disassociate from news and unpleasant reality, just to get through the day. I've also started taking St Johns Wort a few days ago to hopefully get me through the worst of this. Things have to start getting better by Easter - don't they ?

Oh and discovered that DS14 is playing offline games - switched off the wifi on his xbox during the day - rather than studying as we thought, and I just have no inclination to deal with it as I spend my days mumsnetting rather than working.

This time around, I think the ‘flatness’ is largely because the ‘novelty’ aspect has worn off. Last year, as crazy as it all was, it was all new, unknown, there was much more of a sense of ‘togetherness’ with the clapping for the NHS, etc.
Now there’s none of that, it just feels like everyone’s drifting along alone.

I’m sick of fucking video calls, of trying to be jolly for someone’s birthday by doing yet another bastard Houseparty, sick of trying yet another ‘healthy eating/fitness/not drinking’ kick, which invariably falls by the wayside after a few days. Sick of looking like shit every day, with my hair scraped into a ponytail, and wearing a sweatshirt and gym pants instead of proper clothes.
Sick of trying to think of exciting things to make for dinner.
Sick of trying to motivate myself to do reading, art, ANYTHING that’s not MN or ‘doom scrolling’ (reading Covid news or checking the statistics and number of deaths/cases each day).

Yup. I was pregnant last proper lockdown and wfh as well as attempting to homeschool then reception age son but felt more positive and distracted by constant sickness and nausea. This time I'm so so low, adore my baby but upset and angry that I can't take her anywhere, or even have relatives meet her. I miss shops and cafes more than I'd have thought possible. I miss everything that I took for granted and can't even go out for long as nowhere is open to sit and feed her. My son has learning difficulties so doesn't understand what's going on and his behaviour gets worse without his old normal routines. He doesn't understand why everything he used to enjoy doing has stopped and it's all so sad and I feel hopeless. I argue constantly with my partner who's wfh and doesn't deserve this moody cow I've become but the slightest thing sets me off. If we could see and end to all this then it would be manageable but I can't and don't trust this useless and horrible government to roll out the vaccine properly. Then I worry about what the future will be like with tons of businesses wrecked. I don't want a future of bloody Nando's and Wetherspoons and nothing else but chains everywhere. Not to mention the NHS being screwed and us becoming America with health insurance or a generation of young people having their education ruined.
Selfishly I don't want my maternity leave to be miserable for months and months before I go back to whatever work then is.
Then there's the constant housework and cooking. I love food and cooking but not any more! It's all so bleak and unrelenting and I hate myself for becoming this pathetic person. Sorry for droning on but thank you for letting me vent.
Hopefully this year will get better for everyone at some point.

I feel exactly like this and constantly get told I am suffering from depression. I have had depression and I am not that bad yet. It's just not living anymore. I have been made redundant and have just given up. I am the most house proud person I know, and we have just moved house and I can't even be bothered to unpack boxes.

I feel the same OP. I'm a SAHM so no job to break up the day, just the never ending sound of my 2 and 4 year old screaming and banging their heads. I've no motivation to do anything, I just feel listless. It doesn't feel like when I had depression a few years ago, but it doesn't feel a million miles away from it either. I aways get a bit blue in the winter anyway so I think it's just compounding that, I dealt fine in the summer.

Thank you Op for starting this thread
It's dreadful.
And yes feel guilty because front line workers
And haven't lost anyone.
My parents have had the jab too
But nothing to look forward to.

Anyone else not even up yet?
Finding it hard to motivate myself to get up, even though DD is downstairs, playing computer games by herself :-(
Already feeling guilty that I’m not up with breakfast done, and ready for work and fucking home school!

Totally this.

Made redundant last year, supposed to be setting up a new business. Just on Mumsnet or facebook most of the day.

The thing I want most is to be on my own for a day. Normally every couple of weeks dh and the kids go to his parents for the day, and I have a glorious day where no-one wants me to do stuff for them. Sometimes i do nothing, sometimes I do loads, but it's so nice to be off the clock. It's my recharge and I'm desparate for them all to just go away for a while.

Thankfully I started a volunteering role in October. I go twice a week, it's still open because it's considered key work. It's totally keeping me sane and making me at least leave the house twice a week.

We got through most of the first lockdown with various cooking challenges. I've got post covid taste distortions so can barely eat anything, so haven't even got that consolation. You'd think I'd lose weight but I'm still eating in the stupid hope it might make me feel better, which obviously it isn't, and I'm getting fatter.

Life is truly shit right now.

@formerbabe

selfishly, i'm glad it's not just me. thank you to others for fessing up about how you feel because nobody i know in real life will

@asquirrel

So true...I don't know anyone in real life except my sister who has admitted they are finding this difficult. Are they all lying? I know loads of mums still posting "yay, loving hanging out my little family" shite...what's going on? Are they bare faced liars, on hard drugs, hitting the gin or are they genuinely happy as a pig in shit?!

If they’re anything like my SIL, they’re posting their Insta perfect life of their beautiful country home, long happy walks, lovely crafts, milestone cards for the kids, extravagant parties just for the kids entertainment...

Whilst also ringing me to say THANK FUCK THEYRE ASLEEP, I CANT TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS SHIT!

Thank you for sharing. I am feeling exactly the same! I got long covid last March and spent the best part of 6 months just struggling to exist, then went back to work (which normally I love) into conflict and disarray. Being senior management I cop a lot of shit and have a responsibility to support the team but omg I just cannot be arsed!

Had a word with myself over Christmas to pull socks up etc but just feel so... flat. I thought it was me/my job/my particular circumstances so actually I take strange comfort in hearing others feeling the same and remembering these are exceptional and exceptionally shit times and it’s ok to find difficult things difficult.

I also blame the whole blitz spirit, faux-nostalgia, keep calm and carry on shite that was being peddled pre-pandemic for making us feel like we should all be bearing up cheerfully and digging for victory.

I miss my friends so much but I cba to phone them. My closest friend texted me to say 'chat later?' and I thought oh god, do I have to?

I can't even be bothered speaking.

Yup, very flat.

I feel the same. I'm glad I'm not alone in it.

Can't be bothered to do anything! The first lockdown wasn't bad for me, it was almost a novelty. However this time I am feeling it.
There is just nothing to do and nowhere to go. You can't plan anything.

@MorrisZapp

I miss my friends so much but I cba to phone them. My closest friend texted me to say 'chat later?' and I thought oh god, do I have to?

I can't even be bothered speaking.

Definitely this. I sometimes look at my phone and think I can't be bothered to reply and it feels like yet another chore but when I get a message from a friend I really appreciate it, I feel so selfish. I can't remember what it's like to talk to a friend in person so I feel for people who are living on their own.

@MorrisZapp

I miss my friends so much but I cba to phone them. My closest friend texted me to say 'chat later?' and I thought oh god, do I have to?

I can't even be bothered speaking.

That is so bastarding true

I did a friend's Zoom call last night much against my levels of enthusiasm and although it was actually good fun, I had to drink wine to make it so. Thus ruining Dry January. On a Monday.