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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have lost all motivation for anything

625 replies

Pleidiolwyfimgwlad · 18/01/2021 17:30

Is the endlessness of lockdown getting to anyone else? I seem to have lost all motivation for tidying the house, cooking, homeschooling, my job - all of it.

Me & the kids walk every day but that’s about it - it’s the relentlessness of it all that’s really getting to me I think. I just want to sit about eating toast & sleeping- I’d take to my bed if I didn’t have kids to look after.

I have quite a big job at a uni too and even the thought of it makes me feel depressed. It’s awful- I am fed up of my colleagues and they are lovely people so I feel bad.

Aibu to have just lost all mojo? I don’t think I am depressed- just OVER it all- I don’t even know what I need at the moment!

OP posts:
coffeelover3 · 26/01/2021 19:02

I feel like going to bed, just waiting for dc's dinner to be cooked - forced myself to put on some oven chips. Just so so fed up and want this day to be over. not looking forward to another day the same tomorrow though!!!! I've wfh today washed up, hung out wash, put wash on, mopped floors, and done a bit of my hobby, but I just don't think I can face into the evening Sad

SunscreenCentral · 26/01/2021 19:18

I was doing ok, fairly ok, until last night. No reason in particular. But something changed. Not ok. It’s the unrelenting ENDLESSNESS of it. Getting irrationally angry that this whole fucking thing is STILL going on. When I’m not angry, I’m sad. Or just Meh. At best.

HeronLanyon · 26/01/2021 19:27

I think it might be as we approach a year ?? Just got an email from ticketmaster which said ‘it’s been nearly a year since you went to the Tutankhamen exhibition’ then ‘click here for more exciting things to book (what???)’
Had long thought about that day - packed beyond belief wonderful exhibition lunch in really cramped busy Italian around the corner walked home - seem to remember there was a big football match on tv which we watched as I cooked.
Unimaginable. Think that brought me down a little.
Need to organise something for second week in March a few ‘special zooms’ or something to stave off realisation a bit.

CandyLeBonBon · 26/01/2021 19:29

I'm so glad I'm not alone feeling all this

Wineisrequired · 26/01/2021 20:03

YANBU same here . It’s like that film Groundhog Day 😭

starlilly88 · 26/01/2021 21:03

I also stay up late, partly because I can't sleep as I can't turn my brain off, but also because it's quiet and I feel like I'm on my own. I desperately need some alone time but then I feel guilty about wanting to be away from the kids. I love being on my own and really suffering as it's been months, unless you count driving to the shop! I'm getting grumpier by the day and hate my life right now. DH not helping as he's not minded lockdowns and wfh, and thinks I'm being melodramatic. Something has to change soon as I hate existing and not living.

Livelovebehappy · 26/01/2021 21:06

Same here. I’ve never been an ‘i’m Bored’ person. Always found something I enjoy doing. Now I’m bored most days. Feel like hibernating until it’s all over.

NorbertMeubles · 26/01/2021 21:10

Previous poster nailed it by saying we are existing and not living.

Fembot123 · 26/01/2021 21:24

@starlilly88

I also stay up late, partly because I can't sleep as I can't turn my brain off, but also because it's quiet and I feel like I'm on my own. I desperately need some alone time but then I feel guilty about wanting to be away from the kids. I love being on my own and really suffering as it's been months, unless you count driving to the shop! I'm getting grumpier by the day and hate my life right now. DH not helping as he's not minded lockdowns and wfh, and thinks I'm being melodramatic. Something has to change soon as I hate existing and not living.
My DH is similar, he has worked outdoors throughout and not much has changed for him so he doesn’t seem to even try and understand what it’s like for me and the D.C.
colouringindoors · 26/01/2021 23:07

starlily try not to feel bad about wanting time on your own. It's totally understandable and I can guarantee many, many parents (esp mums) feel the same. I totally do.

rookiemere · 27/01/2021 07:26

Another day - oh joy. My favourite moment is when my head hits the pillow to go to sleep and my least favourite when I wake up for another fun filled day at the home computer. Groundhog day, with no way out.

Pinkcanoftan · 27/01/2021 11:09

Yes I look fondly at my bed more often than is healthy I must say

TheOtherMaryBerry · 27/01/2021 11:27

Yep, just feel like there's nothing to look forward to at all and that's just not a healthy way to think but there just isn't anything on the horizon. It's not like I manage lots of exciting things anyway but even just visiting family is a break. Can't even look forward to a sit and read in a coffee shop or a pub meal.

It's the clothes thing that gets to me too, it seems so little and insignificant but I have such body issues post birth and have had to work hard to feel ok again and now I just look at the nice clothes I have and think, when will I be able to dress up again? Everything I wear just gets muddy in the playground so no point and then joggers inside. I had a rough start with DS with PND, no sleep and he was a velcro baby and toddler and I never managed anything for myself. It took me about 2 years to feel like a person again and I'd booked to go to the ballet last April and arranged to see a friend in London in March. Both bloody cancelled. Crap. Can't wait to live again.

Nonamesavail · 27/01/2021 13:52

Got up. Sat on sofa. Ugh there is not even sunlight this is so bad I have no motivation. Not sure if to ride out the storm or force myself to do something.

Mary46 · 27/01/2021 16:06

Same here. Only so many walks with dog one can do. Weekends same now. Hard boost morale. We all home too so day is long.

SingToTheSky · 27/01/2021 16:19

Thank you @TheGreatWave that’s reassuring! The depth we have is about 54cm whereas most seemed to be 60. There are a few that are 55 deep though (we are fine for height and width) so maybe it’d just stick out a bit?!

I managed a bit of exercise today but am now shattered. Had my ECG finally - the most human contact with anyone outside my immediate household in months! Still it means I’m much much closer now to finally getting my new meds so I’m hoping that’ll help my motivation etc

cobblers123 · 27/01/2021 16:31

I have an appointment at the hospital next week and I can't wait! To drive 20 minutes max from home and look at a stunning view on the way is the only thing keeping me going at the moment and to get to speak to and have some human contact.

I really hope it doesn't get cancelled.

Faith50 · 27/01/2021 16:40

It really is awful and feels relentless.

I go for a brisk long walk everyday which allows time for me. I listen to music and watch people running, walking their dogs. I no longer feel sluggish and am also keeping trim.

I wear work clothes to work from home which helps my mood immensely.

I also cook nice meals every evening - something to look forward to!

Cam2020 · 27/01/2021 16:51

I feel the same way. During the first lockdown I was very productive and got loads done - now I'm struggling to get out of bed, do the housework and feel resentful about having to do my job. All of this is very unlike me, I'm usually a postivie and upbeat person, but I thrive on interaction and rushing from thing to thing. I'm really trying to 'appreciate' having more time (largely from not commuting), getting more sleep and being able to get things done around the house during breaks from work, but in reality these things are just dull and boring.

MadKittenWoman · 27/01/2021 19:11

I can't even be arsed to go for a walk.

2021isgoingtobeasshitas2020 · 27/01/2021 19:15

Same. Not even the dog wants to walk anymore.
So now neither of us get any exercise...
I crossed one road, and she sat down and refused to move..
oh well.

onlyreadingneverposting8 · 27/01/2021 19:31

I feel the same. I don't have any proper friends, we moved to a new area in October so I don't know anyone in the area at all and only my Mum will speak to me from my family (ironic as she's the reason none of the rest speak to me!) We have a shielder in the household so have been ultra careful and haven't even been to the supermarket since before Christmas. So since March I've spoken to health care professionals (I have had a baby) and the people in my household and my mum. Doing things outside of the house was what I really looked forward to and there's been nothing really since this time last year.

diamondsandrose · 27/01/2021 22:07

If I wasn't so miserable I'd say I loved this miserable thread!

psychomath · 27/01/2021 22:08

[quote rookiemere]@MiaMarshmallows I really don't want to rain on your parade, but how sure are you we'll be able to do things later in the year ?
Sometimes I feel vaguely optimistic about the vaccine roll out, but then they talk about new strains and I feel like this will never be over.

I often wish I could live on my own for a bit, with no work and no DH, DS or Ddog. Obviously I appreciate that this is all pretty rubbish for someone actually on their own, but I'd like to just be able to wallow for a while without having to churn out meals, do laundry, pretend I care about my job, or worst of all fake some level of jolliness for the family.[/quote]
I live on my own and the first lockdown was absolutely shit, especially before they introduced support bubbles - everyone smugly banging on about how we should all be making the most of family time and appreciating the slower pace of life etc etc, while I spent months not seeing a single person I knew or knowing when I'd next be able to. This time round, though, I'm really glad I do live alone - being stuck inside with other people 24/7 while the weather's too crap to go out sounds like a nightmare right now, and if people were expecting things from me I think I'd just fall apart. Anyone who's got kids and is still managing to get up in the morning is a superhero in my opinion!

I do feel very positive about the vaccine by the way Smile I don't think it'll be an instant fix for everything but life will be a lot more bearable once it's been rolled out to enough people to make a real difference.

MiaMarshmallows · 27/01/2021 22:22

Very confident that we will be able to go to events and on holidays later on in the year.

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