To have lost all motivation for anything

[Pleidiolwyfimgwlad]

Is the endlessness of lockdown getting to anyone else? I seem to have lost all motivation for tidying the house, cooking, homeschooling, my job - all of it.

Me & the kids walk every day but that’s about it - it’s the relentlessness of it all that’s really getting to me I think. I just want to sit about eating toast & sleeping- I’d take to my bed if I didn’t have kids to look after.

I have quite a big job at a uni too and even the thought of it makes me feel depressed. It’s awful- I am fed up of my colleagues and they are lovely people so I feel bad.

Aibu to have just lost all mojo? I don’t think I am depressed- just OVER it all- I don’t even know what I need at the moment!

We always have a massive family calendar, the type with columns for each person. 2020's became ugly with crossed-out cancelled events. This morning I replaced it with a freebie from BBC Good Food magazine, tiny box for each date . I'm optimistic for needing a family one starting in September though .

Also my passport has expired, and I Cba to replace it. I have never not had a valid passport since I was 6 months old.

@ShaunaTheSheep - same here with the passport. Now six months out of date. never happened before. I used to work in the travel industry.

But we still have the massive family calendar. I'm finding it quite handy for all the different zoom calls at different times for work and exercise and DC online societies and lessons. And when lockdown gets lifted, it will be scribbled all over!

I'd be feeling so much happier if they could just give us a timetable for lifting things.

GalaKC do you have a decent GP? might be worth a chat with them. Sorry you're feeling so awful.

Countess totally agree. Covid is one thing. But with this govt in charge, an even worse situation.

I'm very much in 'moving my mouse to make it look like I am busy' mode today at work in my wfh office where I sit, stationary, every day for hours on end and have for 10 months.

Clock watching, surfing the net, staring at my 'to do list'

Cannot summon any drive to get the list completed. Who cares anyway?

I was thinking about all the travel I used to do for my job - getting up at 5am to be in London for 8, do a full day and get the 7pm train back.

Seriously could not gather the energy required to do that anymore. Which I find weird. I am sooooo bored of the same old every day, but the thought of that travel just makes me feel tired. Maybe I am institutionalised now. To this mediocre life.

Certainly the novelty of not commuting has worn off. I actually had to go into work for a few days and I did not appreciate having to get up and out by 7am. I missed my hour with a large mug of tea very much. Institutionalised is a good description. I briefly contemplated getting a teasmade but that would a very slippery slope...

Everyone was so upbeat and positive in he first lockdown and in the summer. It's hard now.

And it's the weekend again. Another weekend of us all fed up of each other and me sitting in the kitchen to try to be apart for a while

I wasn’t even working but I get what you mean about being institutionalised. I can become hermit-y quite quickly anyway (introvert autistic) but the anxiety about going anywhere now is ridiculous. The worst thing is the paranoia when I talk to people. I thought I was over all the analysing, thinking I’ve said the wrong thing, being convinced people hate me from a slightly different tone of voice. But that’s all back, because I’ve become so unused to being around people.

This thread is very therapeutic, good to know I'm not the only one detesting lockdown. All those happy posts of facebook about how wonderful and joyful home educating is can just go where the sun don't shine.

I screamed at my poor DS today... literally screamed at him... because he wouldn't do his maths , then I burst into tears and sobbed in the cold in the garden for 10 minutes before going back to try to make amends. Then DD was angry with me because I'd disturbed her online physics lesson too

I'm miles behind on my work, the washing, the cleaning and well everything really... still at least I pulled up a weed and shaved my legs yesterday

Gave everything up at about 2pm abandoned lessons and took DS to the park for a run about then went and bought non essential sweets and ice cream and popcorn .

I don't want to cook. I hate cleaning. The washing is towering over me like some kind of menacing mountain and the house insurance bill landed on the doormat today...

Oh and I've just realised there is not ONE thing on my calendar for the whole of the year yet beyond a reminder pick up a prescription next week. FML

^In case anyone is wondering why I don't take DD for walks a) she's a stroppy (but utterly lovely) 15 year old b) she's broken 3 toes so no walks for a bit

I'm meant to be finishing my PhD thesis. I'm struggling. My PhD was lab-based, so I never usually spent this much time at a computer. My eyes hurt, I miss seeing my group, and things that I can explain perfectly well out loud sound babyish, stilted or unscientific when I write them down.

My supervisor is being so nice about it all, and has found me extra funding for a couple of months. Apparently everybody finds writing hard, and a pandemic makes it even harder, but I feel guilty that I can sit in front of my computer for hours and have maybe formatted one graph and written about 100 words that I'll probably delete tomorrow.

But feeling guilty isn't actually making me get on with it!

@Frozenintime

And it's the weekend again. Another weekend of us all fed up of each other and me sitting in the kitchen to try to be apart for a while

Friday afternoon is almost the worst. It used to be the highlight of the week, walking out of work on a Friday with the weekend ahead of you. Now it's log off WFH and 48 hours of nothing in the house before getting ready to do it all again for Monday morning.

Well thanks to this thread I've just remembered I put a load of washing in yesterday 🙄

I had set mysekf one task today - sort in-tray and do filing (maybe 2). Have I done any? Nope. Am i going to startcat 6.30 on a fri eve? Nope. So today I have dragged teenagers out for work. Lots of emotional support for yr11 ASD dd. Tried to get v grumpy ds12 to talk. Made nutritious lunch. Took some photos to cheer me up. Mesaged a friend. Finished a jigsaw. Oh and unblocked a toilet! Living the dream 😅

listsandbudgets my non work (removing birthday reminders and boring household bill reminders) calendar has 1 entry. It’s in February. ‘See if possible to reschedule 6 hour electrician appointment put off from Dec/jan’. That’s it for the whole year at the moment. What a life eh? 😂

And now these things appearing in the media of people in the public eye who've committed suicide during this period. Are covid-19 related issues really so much important then every other social issue? Does mental health not matter?

Its snowing here. Hoping it settles so at least the children can go to the park and play (or even the garden). I would be so grateful to send them out to get cold for the morning a to build a snow man then spend the afternoon watching Frozen (of course) with popcorn and hot chocolate and delivered pizza...

Its just a dream isn't it ... it won't settle because 2021 is shit and pretty glittery white snow will turn to mucky slush by morning :(

@listsandbudgets

This thread is very therapeutic, good to know I'm not the only one detesting lockdown. All those happy posts of facebook about how wonderful and joyful home educating is can just go where the sun don't shine.

I screamed at my poor DS today... literally screamed at him... because he wouldn't do his maths , then I burst into tears and sobbed in the cold in the garden for 10 minutes before going back to try to make amends. Then DD was angry with me because I'd disturbed her online physics lesson too

I'm miles behind on my work, the washing, the cleaning and well everything really... still at least I pulled up a weed and shaved my legs yesterday

Gave everything up at about 2pm abandoned lessons and took DS to the park for a run about then went and bought non essential sweets and ice cream and popcorn .

I don't want to cook. I hate cleaning. The washing is towering over me like some kind of menacing mountain and the house insurance bill landed on the doormat today...

Oh and I've just realised there is not ONE thing on my calendar for the whole of the year yet beyond a reminder pick up a prescription next week. FML

You mustn't forget the one weed 😁😁

Crawls in to join my people.
I look a state
My house needs cleaning.
I can barely get to work on time and I work from home.
Make up is a thing of the past, I don't mind putting it on but I don't bother because I know I won't have the energy to take it off!
I am utterly sick of them mess.
The constant fucking dishwasher cycles.
I can't even be arsed to watch box sets anymore.
We are moving house in 5 weeks. FML.
The humour replacement therapy ain't working. I am coating myself in oestrogen.

My DC have a dental check up in February, they can’t wait 😛

It's a shitly bleak feeling, you describe it well. I live in Spain and felt like that during the first lockdown when we couldn't even leave the house. Just lost all interest in everything.

Acedia is the word to describe this feeling of listlessness, isolation yet anxiety. Can’t be arsed to do tasks, even ones you get joy from normally. Monks get it apparently.

I cried for the first time today.It just all seems so pointless right now with mutations and rising numbers everywhere.I just want it to stop .

Thank you so much for posting this. I thought it was just me as a relative died recently and two others are ill..oh and l hate my job. I'm doing what l absolutely have to do, nothing more. I wake up and want to stay in bed. My daughter is bloody amazing, getting on with her school work and asking when she needs help.

I think it's all the juggling for me. As soon as they said the schools were going to close l just thought l can't do that again. I just can't do ALL the fucking stuff again. I love DH bit fuck me he's useless at times.