To have lost all motivation for anything

[Pleidiolwyfimgwlad]

Is the endlessness of lockdown getting to anyone else? I seem to have lost all motivation for tidying the house, cooking, homeschooling, my job - all of it.

Me & the kids walk every day but that’s about it - it’s the relentlessness of it all that’s really getting to me I think. I just want to sit about eating toast & sleeping- I’d take to my bed if I didn’t have kids to look after.

I have quite a big job at a uni too and even the thought of it makes me feel depressed. It’s awful- I am fed up of my colleagues and they are lovely people so I feel bad.

Aibu to have just lost all mojo? I don’t think I am depressed- just OVER it all- I don’t even know what I need at the moment!

I've also come to a low point today, I think some of this is the exacerbating effect of the time of year
let's hope we can stabilise now and gather ourselves, tread water now, we will stay afloat

I walked for over two hours today as it was sunny, and it helped massively, looking at all the happy dogs in their jackets! But then made the mistake of glancing at the Coronavirus board.

Really tried today.

I went out for a walk with DS at lunchtime - just round the block but better than nothing. I also spent a bit of time in the garden and pulled up a weed (yes just the one). I phoned a friend and had a long chat with them then phoned my mum - so lovely to speak to people I don't live with.

This evening I had a long hot shower using the shower gel I've been saving for "best", shaved my legs (in January, in lockdown when I'm living in joggers!) and then put on body lotion and nice moisturiser.

Feeling a bit better I suppose but just so pissed off with the whole of January and probably February and March and maybe April and May .. I'm just grumpy

Why the fuck is it going to be MAY before things improve?? It’s probably the fact that my brain has atrophied but I don’t get it. If millions have been vaccinated by March then WHY?!!!!!!! They keep moving the fucking goalposts!

@listsandbudgets

Really tried today.

I went out for a walk with DS at lunchtime - just round the block but better than nothing. I also spent a bit of time in the garden and pulled up a weed (yes just the one). I phoned a friend and had a long chat with them then phoned my mum - so lovely to speak to people I don't live with.

This evening I had a long hot shower using the shower gel I've been saving for "best", shaved my legs (in January, in lockdown when I'm living in joggers!) and then put on body lotion and nice moisturiser.

Feeling a bit better I suppose but just so pissed off with the whole of January and probably February and March and maybe April and May .. I'm just grumpy

It made me smile that you pulled up a solitary weed so thank you ☺️

Yes I’m spotting this pattern. They dangle a carrot saying ‘March’ then move it to ‘May.’

In March they will move it to ‘July’ then start talking about winter.

They can fuck off to the far side of fuck.

I've been feeling really low recently. Fed up etc same old thing with kids, home schooling.

Then I've just read on another thread that some poor mother has just found out that her beautiful 2 year old son has terminal cancer.
It has just put things into a bit of perspective for me. Things are tough at the moment but not as tough as things could be.

@roseyrose2020

I've been feeling really low recently. Fed up etc same old thing with kids, home schooling.

Then I've just read on another thread that some poor mother has just found out that her beautiful 2 year old son has terminal cancer.
It has just put things into a bit of perspective for me. Things are tough at the moment but not as tough as things could be.

Yes I saw that too, doesn’t bear thinking about.

I've spoken to many friends and family and can see it on social media that this 3rd lockdown has actually been very hard to most people. I have been in pJ's for days, I haven't cooked or cleaned and just manage looking after the toddler. If I didn't have the toddler, I would happily starve myself and sleep all day. My toddler is the reason why I wake up and have some sort of routine to feed him, clean him, entertain him a bit but with loads of screen time, we go out for a little walk on good days but that's it. I can't even be bothered to go to the supermarket right now to do some shopping. Everyone's feeling really low right now and all doom and gloom news everywhere isn't helping at all. If we had a deadline I would cross out each day. This is very very hard. Good luck everyone and keep well x

@heatered, your post really touched me, not RTFT yet but wanted to say you hang on in there, you sound so defeated

Technically we're OK, nice house, still have jobs, OK financially, DC reasonably well behaved, but I am so over this whole thing.

I hit a wall today with home school, I just can't bear to do it any more (of course I will). I had a little word with myself and wondered why, it then dawned on me that when we get to March, the DC will have been at home pretty much 8 months out of the last 12. That's been me, by myself (DH works full time out of the house - manager in food logistics) doing a full time demanding job plus home schooling x2 primary DC, feeding them, keeping the house tidy, servicing the almost constant needs or our dog for 8 fecking months!!!! And there's no end in sight!

I feel like I'm going to have to start my what was once very active social life from scratch. I just can't be bothered keeping up with anybody, I have no news, I have nothing to say, I've just checked out. I feel almost like I'm just a spectator in my own life of nothingness. Gah this is grim!

It sucks. I think I'm developing PND because of lockdown turning mat leave into exhausting Groundhog Day.

@roarfeckingroarr

It sucks. I think I'm developing PND because of lockdown turning mat leave into exhausting Groundhog Day.

I feel so sorry for those who have had their Maternity Leave turned into this suckfest it’s not fair.

@Fembot123 makes you think how awful things could really be 🥲
Lockdown is rubbish but not much could be as hard and sad as what that mother is having to go through.

I live alone and WFH. Work is crappy, loads of my team were made redundant last year and the rest are on furlough.

I'm sleeping up to ten hours a day. I miss my friends and family but can't be arsed to call them.

I'm lucky that I have a boyfriend so see someone at least three times a week.

I miss everything.

Life is just grey and lumpy and tepid. If I didn’t have DC I wouldn’t get out of bed.

Same. So so mundane. So boring. Just cant be bothered. Dont want to craft. Too cold to garden, bored of zoom quizes etc etc

This thread is ace
I mean , it's awful obviously. But by listening to people complain about all the EXACT SAME things that are miserably swirling about my head is , well not cheering me up , but it's doing something good. It's hard to explain!
I feel like I know you all or something. A band of miserable brothers!
It's like there's relief in the recognition of our collective misery. And no one has dared to come on and berate us for it , that's the best bit ! And very unusual on MN.

Yep.
The days of trying to get challenging DD to cooperate with schoolwork while battling a toddler, do housework and WFH are so emotionally draining.
I took up drinking during the first lockdown; dreaming of flopping at the end of a day with a drink was what kept me going.
I lost all motivation for housework when it became painfully clear that OH, who was hardly working at the time, was doing jack shit to help despite having no work to do while I still did, I resented that and pretty much stopped too.
I mostly gave up cooking and kept using the constant steam of 40% off Ubereats codes I was receiving. With all the takeaways and booze my weight's shot up which made everything even more depressing.

Ended up in a really shitty cycle of waking up dreading the day, having shitty days with the kids, doing the bare minimum, not being arsed to cook, eating crappy food, finally getting the kids to bed, finishing my work, then drinking myself to a miserable sleep.
Repeat.

Things are a bit better now, I'm not drinking, school work is a tiny bit better, the toddler is a little bit better, trying to get out for walks more, eat better.
But it's still shit. The house is still a disaster. I can't remember how the heck I used to manage life before lockdown. I dunno how to get my mojo back. I've lost who I used to be.

Dragged the kids out for a walk and made an effort to try and spots signs of Spring in front gardens. Saw a few snowdrops and daffs starting to come up. Think I'll keep an eye on them... Feb soon and then Spring will be v near. Ate lots more food. And chocolate.

I feel so much better after reading this. Lockdown has hit me extremely hard as I was in the process of separating and now I am stuck here as I can't work at the moment, with 3 kids at home for the foreseeable duration, 100 + people applying for every shitty vacancy that pops up anyway. My house is on the market and no movement there and my stbx is a maniac and a pest who makes my life a misery every minute he is home. I struggle with home schooling as my mind is in total turmoil and I just don't seem to have any brain capacity, patience or motivation. My mother is going off the rails due to lockdown too and many family issues/ bereavements and she calls and texts me many times a day having constant meltdowns, like screaming or crying, to the point I cannot breathe and I bite my knuckles to stop me from screaming back at her. I really want to support her but I am spent. All my hobbies and projects have gone out the window, I fall asleep if I even sit down because I just do not have the energy to even stay awake. I cry a lot because I feel I am.being a terrible mother, though I ensure their needs are met and always hug and kiss them and tell them they are special and I love them.
I want to smash my phone up every time another annoying post comes up about how to make the most of lockdown and all these happy clappy things. For example my village decided to put bunting everywhere, rainbows on windows and painted rocks and all that shit gives me the rage, I just want normal life back and to be able to move on and get out of this limbo. Everything makes me angry these days. I live in leggings and I forgot the last time I put on one of my beautiful lipsticks. Nothing to do it for. Im letting things slide, birthdays, appointments, even falling into arrears on things like card payments because I either forget or I get to stressed to even open my banking app. All in all my life is a hot mess right now and every time I open my eyes in the morning I want to go back to sleep and never wake up again. I feel so bad that I should be enjoying this extra time with my beautiful children but deep down I just feel dead inside. Not looking for any advice here, just venting really. I know things will turn one day, but bloody hell. It's like being a zoo animal right now. Masive hugs for everyone feeling like this too.Most of my friends are.

It's such a shock isn't it to have all the things that made life bearable ripped away from you
I was thinking about the last lockdown in the summer, I used to go for very long walks in the evening and that helped quite a lot
How I yearn for the things I used to do
It wasn't even anything that great, no big holidays or anything, but still they were things that I took for granted and relied upon
ripped away!

I think the problem is, the government has handled this so very badly, they’ve completely failed, and that’s left us with constant u-turns and shifting sands.

Nobody trusts them now and people are on the tipping point of losing hope. The government don’t understand this.

I had to read Peppa Goes on Holiday to
my DS last night where they go to Italy on an actual plane and I couldn't believe holidays, especially abroad were every a thing. I felt jealous of Peppa Pig as well as sad and confused while trying to read it being jolly to my DS who doesn't understand why we've stopped doing anything like going away, even for the day. Stupid Peppa Pig.

@Alwaystired99

I had to read Peppa Goes on Holiday to my DS last night where they go to Italy on an actual plane and I couldn't believe holidays, especially abroad were every a thing. I felt jealous of Peppa Pig as well as sad and confused while trying to read it being jolly to my DS who doesn't understand why we've stopped doing anything like going away, even for the day. Stupid Peppa Pig.

She’d sizzle like bacon on the beach, comfort yourself with that ☺️