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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have lost all motivation for anything

625 replies

Pleidiolwyfimgwlad · 18/01/2021 17:30

Is the endlessness of lockdown getting to anyone else? I seem to have lost all motivation for tidying the house, cooking, homeschooling, my job - all of it.

Me & the kids walk every day but that’s about it - it’s the relentlessness of it all that’s really getting to me I think. I just want to sit about eating toast & sleeping- I’d take to my bed if I didn’t have kids to look after.

I have quite a big job at a uni too and even the thought of it makes me feel depressed. It’s awful- I am fed up of my colleagues and they are lovely people so I feel bad.

Aibu to have just lost all mojo? I don’t think I am depressed- just OVER it all- I don’t even know what I need at the moment!

OP posts:
KimchiLaLa · 20/01/2021 00:45

Same. I know it will pass and I'm just bored!

hopsalong · 20/01/2021 00:49

If this had been going on five years ago, I don't think I would have had kids. I never wanted to be a SAHP. I have always fucking hated cooking and cleaning and shopping. So does DH. We used to eat out all the time and have a cleaner and take the kids on really great holidays and do loads of fun sociable things. Now it's just me making crappy food in a messy kitchen bored out of my mind day after day. If this is parenting now, I don't think I'm qualified!

MostIneptThatEverStepped · 20/01/2021 00:56

When I started reading this thread on Monday I found it comforting to know I wasn't alone in feeling bored, low snd just a bit shit.

For some reason tonight it's all just peaked. Not because I'm dealing with anything difficult compared to many but the awful low mood has just risen up and engulfed me. I'm so bored. I'm not getting anything done and I don't feel like getting anything done. I can't stop eating chocolate and can't be bothered to exercise and unsurprisingly I'm feeling flabby and unhappy with how I look.

I know things will get better, that's all I've got to cling to at the moment.

Userzzz · 20/01/2021 01:05

I’m so over it. I’m so fucking sick of zoom calls. I want to talk to real people. I want to get dressed and go out and interact with people. If this isn’t over by March I will lose the will to live.

Rubybluesy · 20/01/2021 01:06

Me too... so depressing at the mo

RunGinSleepRepeat · 20/01/2021 05:04

Yep. It’s hell. Single parent of an 18 month old, 6 and 7 year. Trying to home school whilst the toddler roams bored is so hard. I’ve lost the motivation to leave the house, I’m drinking far too much. The constant cooking, cleaning, washing is driving me mad. I miss adults, I miss having some structure, I miss naps (toddler doesn’t sleep- I’m exhausted). I don’t want to wake up most days, I dread it . I want to be left alone and lay in bed and hide away until this is all over. I’m on the edge.

HeronLanyon · 20/01/2021 06:34

Hey fellow strugglers. Woken with a bit motivation.
When my parents died over the last few years I discovered that days i had energy/headspace to do anything were rare and I needed to do as much of the endless paperwork etc on those days as there would be weeks on end when I couldn’t be bothered.
So - gonna try to use this little flicker of battery life in me! On top of wfh gonna do at least two things on my to do list. Even if all it is is to clear tidy and clean a room or deal with the big pile of clean clothes etc something will get done today !!
Support all.

WishICouldThinkOfAGoodName · 20/01/2021 07:34

Same here

lidoshuffle · 20/01/2021 10:07

I'm forgetting how to speak and can't recall words. I've had two one-hourish face to face conversations since early December (I live alone) and am out of practice. Zoom and the phone don't count somehow.

BlueSkyAhead · 20/01/2021 10:20

Same here 💚

MeOldBamboo · 20/01/2021 11:20

Agree with all your comments. I’m a very bouncy extrovert and have struggled hugely without daily face to face interaction with friends and colleagues. It’s where I get my energy from. A daily early morning walk with a friend does wonders for work motivation.
But the imposed stay at home boredom has put the spotlight firmly on my marriage and am seriously wondering whether DH and I have ever been compatible, if this is what retirement and old age looks like. Feeling very lonely in a house full of family and not sure what I’m going to do about it.

Pimlicojo · 20/01/2021 11:24

Today I feel like a slug. My limbs ache, I'm tired and my mood is low. I know there's nothing wrong with me, it's just the monotony of another day. This time last year I had a job, friends, holidays planned, money.......now it's just an existence. The rain today isn't helping.

I try telling myself there are others less fortunate, but it's not working today!

InterstellarDrifter · 20/01/2021 11:26

I’m finding it comes in waves. I’m feeling a bit better today.
I’ve been going to bed earlier and waking up earlier and managing to get some risk done before dcs get up.
On reflection, the late nights were not doing me any favours.
Changing that has helped me to eat a bit better, get more done and feel happier, which everyone benefits from. Moody mum is no fun.

Yohoheaveho · 20/01/2021 11:42

Wondering whether DH and I have ever been compatible
I think lots of people will be having a similar feelings about their partners, I also think many relationships which (pre pandemic) were perfectly functional will crumble the under the pressures of 'too much togetherness' at a time of such stress and uncertainty

Original poster
Pleidiolwyfimgwlad · 20/01/2021 12:50

@MeOldBamboo god yes, it’s put a definite spotlight on my relationship with DH too. And some long standing friendships too

OP posts:
rookiemere · 20/01/2021 12:54

Yes relationships are interesting. DH has always been the Tigger to my Eyeore and that is more noticeable now, but actually we are rubbing along in this better than I would have expected.

Justsocross · 20/01/2021 13:01

Totally feel the same . At the moment I’m in bed with the dogs just can’t be arsed

bettydaviseyes1 · 20/01/2021 13:53

I'm being brutally honest here and hope I dont offend but 3 months ago I would have thought you all a bunch of unmotivated pessimistic so and sos. Fast forward to now I'm sitting in my pyjammas in the afternoon, can't remember the last time I washed my hair, moving my computer mouse to make me look active, reading mumsnet... you're my people!

First lockdown I exercised, had a routine, in WFH breaks was doing house hold chores, had movie nights, games nights, loved every walk, ate healthy... now I live on takeaway and elasticated bottoms

I'm exhausted from doing nothing!!

Is there a thread discussing things that might help get out of this funk? I'm sick of everything, including myself and sick of being sick of things...

bangheadhere40 · 20/01/2021 14:05

I'm tired of it all, tired of being stuck in with the kids and not being able to help them with their work. Tired of trying to keep on top of my own work.

What I really really miss now is not having a partner. I think that would make things a bit more bearable. Feeling incredibly lonely atm.

Labobo · 20/01/2021 14:11

Does it help to know that 21st-22nd January is documented as the point of the year - any year - in which depression is at an all time high. It's biological. It's a month after solstice so we have been lacking light and heat and vitality for the longest time. Given the pandemic, homeschooling, work insecurity, lack of fun and social life, I think you are all doing bloody brilliantly to be no lower in mood than just mooching in PJs, feeling a bit low and demotivated.

hamstersarse · 20/01/2021 14:13

I wonder if the people who are say they are enjoying it are the people who actually have some anxiety around getting it. Anxiety is at least a feeling.

I have no feelings at all. I am not happy, sad, fearful, ashamed, guilty, disgusted. Just nothing much at all.

I do have some laughs in my house, it is conflict free. And we make an effort to find some funny stories and funny activities still.

But laughter is only part of the issue - I want some challenge. Something to make me sit up and pay attention, stimulate the blood flow, get all my senses working.

Iveputmyselfonthenaughtystep · 20/01/2021 14:23

Oh my god. My people. Hello.
I sorrento the last lockdown trying so hard and singing between doing ok and hideous breakdowns. This time I'm in this endless meh where I can't stop eating, have no motivation and just want to drink when I eat teetotal for 19 years!

I was talking to my mum and said that if it wasn't for the situation then I'd be at the doctors demanding medication, so my only goal right now is just to get through this situation unmeficated and anything more than that is a bonus. I've spotted reading homeschooling emails because I end up having minor breakdowns. I'm seriously considering deleting my studies. The only reason my house isn't a complete hole is because the kids are fucking obsessed with the robovac and clear the floor just so they can get him to run around. It did mean the covers and tables are covered in kids ' crap though...

The only bright side is that I'm making the cat very very happy with all my sitting around in heaps. Go me.

Iveputmyselfonthenaughtystep · 20/01/2021 14:23

Sorry for typos. My phone wouldn't show me what i was typing so I had to take a leap of faith.

TheCap · 20/01/2021 14:28

I'm really struggling today. I have a lot of work to do and deadlines to adhere to but today the kids can't seem to knuckle down to their school work and keep talking and distracting me. I can't concentrate at all, I'm tired, It's bleak outside and I've got a headache. I'm going to sack it off today and hope that tomorrow will be better. I know I'll be working, on my own time, this weekend, because I know it will be quieter and I won't have to worry about homeschooling but I resent the thought. I have to finish my work though. The drudgery of the whole thing, with no end in sight is exhausting.

500BusStops · 20/01/2021 14:37

@Labobo

Does it help to know that 21st-22nd January is documented as the point of the year - any year - in which depression is at an all time high. It's biological. It's a month after solstice so we have been lacking light and heat and vitality for the longest time. Given the pandemic, homeschooling, work insecurity, lack of fun and social life, I think you are all doing bloody brilliantly to be no lower in mood than just mooching in PJs, feeling a bit low and demotivated.
This has made me feel a bit better. Thank you 😊