To ask for your favourite things about your DS?

[Orangebitters]

I am pregnant and will find out the sex in a few weeks. Many people will find this irrational, but I can’t control this feeling- I’m terrified of it being a boy.

I think this is down to the fact that I have a terrible relationship with my older brother. He was an aggressive, violent, miserable bully my whole childhood and it didn’t improve as he aged- I went no contact with him a few years ago. All of my impressions of what little boys are like are tied up with him, and I’m scared that I won’t be able to bond with a DS. Of course girls can have behavioural issues too, but it seems so much more common with boys.

I also feel girls are more likely to be close to their parents in the long term (based on my brother, who has minimal contact with my parents now, but also other families). Boys seem to grow up and sort of do their own thing- but girls always stay close.

This pregnancy was unplanned and I’m just about coming to terms with it. Finding out it’s a boy will be tough, so I’m trying to prepare myself.

AIBU to ask for help here? I’d love to hear people’s positive experiences on having a boy. What did you love about it? Did you prefer it to having a girl? Did anyone really really want a boy and feel the same way that I do about having a girl?

My DS is my sunshine. I love that he will tell say "I just love you SO much mummy". He thinks I am the absolute centre of the world.

He is great fun! We have a great time playing together. I love it when he will snuggle in next to me listening to his favourite stories. He is kind and affectionate and just a joy.

I’ve got a girl of 19 and a boy of 2 and tbh I found them very similar in a lot of ways
The boy is probably a bit more full on and wants to be with me all the time, although this year with all his baby groups being cancelled hasn’t helped
But he such a bundle of fun, proper belly laughs which is infectious, so inquisitive, and so so cuddly and loving

My DS is 18 months and is just the absolute best. He’s so funny and sweet and has the most infectious giggle. He’s blonde, blue eyed, with smiley dimpley cheeks and there has never been a more beautiful baby.
Until DS2 was born and equalled DS1. There was some rumblings of “maybe next time it will be a girl” when we going out the sex, but I was overjoyed at the prospect of two handsome sons only a year apart in age.
DS2 was born with wings so he will always be utter perfection.
Maybe I’ll have a girl one day, maybe I won’t my. I’m the luckiest mummy in the world to belong to my boys, that’s all I know.

My DS is three and absolutely lights up my day. He is funny, charming, affectionate, kind and tells the best stories. He makes me laugh so often and often tells me 'mummy, i could just cuddle you all day long'. I have girls too and boy or girl doesn't even come into it - they're just unique and wonderful little people.

I loved it when mine got taller than me and he kind kind of tuck me under his arm (and im tall, at 5'8).

See I’ve never found the ‘all girls stay close to the family’ true, I know plenty of women who live 100s of miles away from their parents and aren’t very close

I had two dds, then a big gap, then a surprise ds. He is nearly 19. He's huge and cuddly, like a big teddy bear. A talented musician, kind, compassionate, witty and with a strong sense of justice. He will always stick up for the underdog. Love him to bits

My DD is 13 and every night sits next to me on the sofa and says let's have a snuggle mum. He is a delight, bores me rigid about football but is polite and funny and kind. I have a DD as well, and she is equally lovely but has never been as cuddly as her brother. One of my brothers is an absolute dick, my son is nothing like him (and neither is my other brother).

My DS is nearly 10 and is a complete mummy’s boy, mini me and sensitive soul. Having said that he is as mad as a box of frogs, best laugh in the world and so sociable with others! I’m pregnant with my second and would be delighted either way 😀

I have 2 boys, 15 and 16.

They are both very different but are the kindest, funniest, gentlest souls.

They are smart, hard working and (mostly) thoughtful.

They also eat me out of house and home...

@OneMoreForExtra your lovely boy sounds exactly like my pair! Personalities determine relationships, not gender.

My DS is the sunshine in our life.
He starts the day with such affection for everyone, asking in turn how everybody's sleep was. He is naturally funny and has an enormous amount of empathy. He is fascinating and charming. He's smart, thoughtful, determined and sensitive.

He is also, at times, full of rage and frustration and needs our support to help him walk through that. He says impulsive things that he later regrets. He has used his strength at inappropriate times. He has gotten caught up in playground banter about who is the strongest / fastest / most popular and puffed his chest in an arrogant manner. He has come close to having 'scraps' with his male peers. He has talked about butts, willies and farts in a way none of his sisters ever cared for.

As his parents, we were not expecting a fourth child and then after 3 girls, were not expecting a boy. Similar to you, OP, my idea of what boys were like was based on my bullying brother and rageful, dominant Father and Uncles. I was terrified of what we might end up with.

Like all child rearing, their personality is part genetics, part environment. Guide them through their tough times and they have less reason to be mad at the world. I do believe this is where my parents went wrong with all of the bullshit toxic masculinity nonsense- 'boys don't cry' 'boys don't need hugs' 'he needs to be tough' etc. All dreadful messages for a developing child who learns to feel ashamed of their very normal emotions.

Good luck OP. Little boys are truly a blessing and it's a cliche, but they really do love their Mothers. It's a unique bond.

Where do I start?
He makes friends everywhere he goes.
He tells me he loves me all the time.
He has a quirky, unusual imagination.
He is sweet, kind and thoughtful.
He is a daydreamer.
He is gentle and patient with smaller children and animals.

Oldest twin - he’s so loving and kind. Absolutely soppy little devil too!
Youngest twin - he is so like me as a child it’s uncanny. He’s always trying to make me laugh, and when it’s just me and him he confides all his secrets in me.
Youngest - he’s so funny and clever! Right little know it all, but very good natured. Runs rings around his brothers.

They’re 12, 12 and 9. Chin up OP, boys are lovely

I'm pleasantly surprised by how this thread is going, very little negativity about girls and just lots and lots of lovely positivity about all these wonderful sons... it's enough to make me all emosh

My son is still young and I am torn between not wanting him to change a bit and looking forward to seeing him grow into an equally wonderful older child, teenager and man.

As parents of sons we do have a big responsibility to teach and encourage emotional literacy, I think, as well as respect towards women and a responsible attitude towards chores and so on. It's heartening to read that so many of you seem to be doing a fantastic job in this regard.

Firstly, girls don't always stay close. Mother daughter relationships can be fraught. Having been a teacher I have taught many girls who are poorly behaved and rebellious, it's not just boys. Give a naughty boy over a mardy madam any day!

I have three DS's. All quite different. One loves sport, another loves farming, youngest is mad about Lego. All work hard at school and are polite and well behaved. All quite sensitive and affectionate, even my teen. Love chatting and playing with them.

Your boy, if the baby is a boy, needs an open mind and no preconceptions. Most boys (and girls) are lovely.

"Give a naughty boy over a mardy madam any day!"

I spoke too soon, clearly.
I hope my children don't end up with a teacher like you.

I have 2 sons. Ds1 is kind, empathetic, sensitive, clever and loving. Ds2 is cheeky, impulsive, determined and witty. They are both complete mummy's boys! I love them both so much and wouldn't change them for the world. During my second pregnancy I was secretly hoping for a girl so I would have one of each but in hindsight it hasn't made a blind bit of difference. They are my children and I love them. They are so different in so many ways but also have a lovely bond. Enjoy every minute of your new baby. Congratulations and good luck xxxx

My DS19 loves to cook with me, we share recipes and send each other photos of our meals (he's away in uni) nobody else in my family shares this passion for food with me.

He gives the best hugs and gives me at least one hug a day (when he's home) and tells me he loves me more often than anyone else.

He's sensible and clever, fiercely independent but a bit of a know it all, but very witty - he helps carry in my heavy shopping! He respects woman and is a good person he makes me so proud.

You would love having a DS, there is a very special bond between a mum & son.

I've always wanted a daughter.. I have 2 sisters I'm super close to, I'm so close to my mam..

I have 2 sons..

And I would not change them for the world!

DS1 is train mad and Lego mad..his little face when we went on the polar express the otter Christmas was amazing!! He clambers into my bed every morning "for snuggles mammy because we are best friends!" He is loving, patient with his brother, articulate, interested in finding out about everyone and is so innocent still in a heartwarming way!

DS2 is quite possibly the cutest child ever, with the cheekiest smile and crazy mop of white blond hair! He loves dinosaurs and sea creatures and just delights in life! He is the happiest toddler ever! He also tells me "I love you all the world" which melts me!

My boys are so unique and special individually and honestly the love I feel for them I can't even describe!

My son reads emotions well and knows I need a hug before I do! He cares and is gentle with animals.

😂 honestly, it was a joke! Although some teenage girls can be so complicated and the hours that go into resolving friendship issues endless. Then they're friends the next day, fallen out after that...and so on. In my experience, the rebellious girls are hard in class, it's not for want of trying though. These threads are always about being disappointed about a boy and I know full well that not all girls are a pleasure either! They are all different and it's partly dependent upon their upbringing. That's all I was trying to say. I'm not actually teaching anymore due to other commitments but I was.always fair and a good teacher. Before you judge my jokey comments you should spend some time in a comprehensive school, it might be an eye-opener!

I have a DS and a DD. DS is 8 and he is the kindest, sweetest boy. He loves to help me & his little sister (sometimes too much!) He loves to read and tell me about the books he has read but he still loves to read together too. He has always been big on kisses and cuddles. His teacher recently left & wrote him a card telling him what a good, kind friend he is & how he makes them all laugh so it's not just me being PFB!

He also drives me crazy for various other reasons, but I often look at him and think HOW did I make such a wonderful person?!

I have boy girl twins. I am close to them both in different ways. I love my sons boyness, I love that he works things out abs I love watching him learn about the world. He is a kind abs sensitive soul and increasingly as he gets older, great company and nice to spend time with.
Not many are like your brother and you will love your baby with all your heart whatever it turns out to be. Don't worry

Like others on this thread my 3 year old boy is fond of holding my face in both hands and giving me kisses and big cuddles. He has a funny wee imagination and makes me laugh all the time. Being with him is heaven really.