To ask for your favourite things about your DS?

[Orangebitters]

I am pregnant and will find out the sex in a few weeks. Many people will find this irrational, but I can’t control this feeling- I’m terrified of it being a boy.

I think this is down to the fact that I have a terrible relationship with my older brother. He was an aggressive, violent, miserable bully my whole childhood and it didn’t improve as he aged- I went no contact with him a few years ago. All of my impressions of what little boys are like are tied up with him, and I’m scared that I won’t be able to bond with a DS. Of course girls can have behavioural issues too, but it seems so much more common with boys.

I also feel girls are more likely to be close to their parents in the long term (based on my brother, who has minimal contact with my parents now, but also other families). Boys seem to grow up and sort of do their own thing- but girls always stay close.

This pregnancy was unplanned and I’m just about coming to terms with it. Finding out it’s a boy will be tough, so I’m trying to prepare myself.

AIBU to ask for help here? I’d love to hear people’s positive experiences on having a boy. What did you love about it? Did you prefer it to having a girl? Did anyone really really want a boy and feel the same way that I do about having a girl?

Eldest 13, is kind and resilient and polite, asks me how my day was, havent once fallen out with him. I get complimented on him a lot as he always chats to neighbours and cashiers in shop. Gives brilliant hugs and now he's four inches taller than me its a proper big hug! Obsessed with fuzzy throws and cuddly dressing gowns.

Youngest is 11 and super smart and funny, makes me howl with laughter, he's cat mad and makes a brilliant cup of tea and watches movies and box sets with me. Oh and he bakes. Constantly.

My 30 year old brother on the other hand is shall we say 'troubled'. Never held down a job and alcoholic. So I understand your anxiety.

Honestly he is outnumbered in the family by lovely decent kind men. Dad is the best dad ever, my nephew is at uni on track for a first, my step son is a nurse, working so hard... cousins all funny lovely people. Dont worry. X

Congratulations on your pregnancy. 15 years ago (almost to the day actually I think) I put a thread on here asking the same thing. I wanted a second DD because boys I knew who were friendly with me and DD scared me a little because they were rough, energetic and boisterous.

Can I just tell you how much I adore DS? He is nearly 15 now and is the most thoughtful, caring, cuddly thing ever. He was a dream as a baby, much more content than DD was and not as tricky as a toddler as I expected. He absolutely adored me as a small child and think he still does although he’s a little cooler about admitting it now.

Of course all children are different regardless of gender but I just wanted to reassure you that whatever child you have you will adore.

My brother should I add did not benefit from interventions that are more common these days, e.g. diagnosis and support for learning difficulties or behavioural problems. I do think if hed got mental health and educational support earlier he would have swerved so many things that went wrong for him.

The first thought that went through my mind when I found out I was having ds7 (after having dd) was 'shit, what do I do with a boy?!' But wow, he is the most loving boy ever. He is so compassionate, always wanting cuddles, he must tell me at least 10 times a day that he loves me.
He is just so easy going.
I am so, so lucky to have such an amazing boy! He makes me feel 10 years younger and he always makes me laugh.

Thank you everyone, these are lovely stories which have helped a lot. I'm really happy for you & all your delightful DS :)

I had a lot of negative stereotypes about boys pushed onto me when pregnant with DC1. I had a moment of disappointment when DS9 was born but he's an amazing individual, sensitive and smart. His younger Dsis is the kid most likely up a tree/fighting/running off.

I love my DS so much. He is so sweet natured and caring. He’s very helpful, and if I’m having a hard day he will say “are you ok mum” and give me a big hug. He also has a wonderful sense of humour and properly belly laughs when he finds something funny, so much so that he starts the rest of us off.

My 7yo is so lovely.

Hes so kind and empathetic.

He knows when I'm stressed and will make me coffee to help me de-stress.

He is amazing with his younger brother (1yo). One time they were both in the kitchen and I had gone to the toilet. I heard a glass smash and ran back in. 7yo knew the danger to his little brother and by the time I had ran back out, he had gathered all the glass together using his bare hands, to stop 1yo from touching it and cutting himself.

He’s polite, funny, thoughtful, braver than I am about so many things, always sunny side up and still loves a big cuddle. He’s the apple of my eye, even when we butt heads - which is often.

I’m really sorry your big brother was such a nasty piece of work ! I have a brother & sister & my brother is the loving caring one , my sister is great too , but much more critical & moody , always has been . I only have daughters, but my mother always says boys are more cuddly & my sister has 3 boys & they are just big cuddle monsters . Always playing rough & tumble & using up all the floor space 😂

I think that boys love their Mums, they tend to be very affectionate. Obviously there are exceptions to the rule but on the whole I think boys are lovely.

I have a 19 month old DS and he is just the sweetest, funniest most entertaining little person. He's a total mummy's boy and loves to snuggle and give kisses and sing songs together. He's my little sidekick - he comes everywhere with me when I'm not at work and he's just the best company. I love our "chats" even though I don't always understand his toddler babble .

I had 2 DD’s then a DS, they are all perfection but my DS is the one who just seems to think I’m perfect 😂 I’m not

Ah, he's bloody adorable. Sweetest, gentlest, most loving and kindest little boy imaginable.

So full of empathy. Stub your toe three rooms away and mutter "ow" and he'll come running to check you're ok. At just 2 he heard me complaining of being cold, and toddled off to the bathroom to fetch the hand towel, which he then rubbed all over me, to warm me up. He even put it back neatly afterwards.

He always wants kisses and cuddles. He's funny and loves to make us laugh. He likes winding his sister up, yes, but still runs over to give her a big cuddle at the end of the school day (when they were allowed to go to school!) He's proud of her too, and will boast about how clever and talented she is.

I hadn't wanted a son. The moment they placed him in my arms I realised I'd been waiting for him without even realising it. He filled a space in my heart I hadn't known was there.

I had a boy after having had two girls. He is absolutely gorgeous, even now he's a teenager. As a toddler, he was always much more tactile and affectionate than either of the girls, tending to drape himself on me and just want cuddles all the time. It was lovely. As a young man, of course he can be heedless or stubborn sometimes, and I could do with him being slightly less glued to the Xbox, but he's also thoughtful and funny and just great company. In fact, writing this has made me think about how great he is and I'm off to give him a hug.

And his sisters are fab too! So whether you have a boy or a girl, it will be its own little person and you will bond with it and love it for itself! Congratulations on your pregnancy and don't fret - overthinking can be part of parenting but this is a brand new relationship. Enjoy it!

@Thisisatflrailservice

My son is the light of my life. He's the most loving and affectionate of my two children. My other child is a girl. His love for me is HUGE. I have never known love like this and I say this as someone who has experienced unconditional love and loyalty from my husband. I am expecting another boy and when I found out it was a boy, I cried with joy. My daughter is equally very loving and affectionate and it's all learnt behaviour from her big brother.

Oh yeah, I can relate to this. I know my DH and DD love me. But I've never been loved in quite the same way DS loves me.

I have a DS14. He is my world. He is funny, kind and astute. He is my best friend.
I’m so grateful I had a boy.
One father of a girl once said to me I’m luck to have a son as I only need to worry about one Willy. With a girl you need to worry about everyone’s Willy!
🤩

I was helping with reading 2 years ago with P4s. My ds walks past, doesn’t notice me. Girl I’m with doesn’t know he’s my ds. ‘He’s nice’ she says.
(He is quite nice, and will play with anyone)

He will know what you're thinking and what you're feeling before you say it. From about the age of 7 mine could do this. Freaks me out sometimes! Happens all the time here. They are more tuned in emotionally than girls I find, but yet in life are expected to hide this skill beneath macho behaviour etc, in many cases anyhow.

If you don't nag them, they'll become really good housemates!! I only had to tell my son once to give the carpet the odd hoover/take down his laundry/make his bed properly/clean the loo and he's done it himself from then on.

Never make it a regular thing to nag your son and you'll see a bond develop like no other human you have ever met in life.

I am one of 4DC and my parents are as close to my DBros and SILs as they are to my DSis and I.

I have DDs and a DS. He's only 8 but he is adorable, a really sweet kind thoughtful boy who is well behaved at school, obsessed with dinosaurs, loves to read and draw and play with his lego and trains as well as completely full of fun and energy who loves playing football with his Dad and big sister (she's really sporty and plays for a couple of teams) and roller skating and skateboarding.

Personality is not dictated by genitals, you will love your child because they are themselves and that will be a mix of you and the father and your siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. My niece has her great grandmother's eyes. My son is very similar to his great uncle in personality. My daughter has the same sense of humour as her great grand aunt and giggles like her aunt.

If you think you will have geder disappointment then don't find out the sex till the birth, by then you will have the reality of a baby to deal with and barring nappy changes their sex won't affect how you love them.

I have 2 ds' and love different things but each. DS1 is funny, independent, kind and a hard worker. DS2 (who is a lot younger) is a nutter, but so loving. I also have a DD. I wouldn't say I'm any closer to her than I am my boys. Each child is unique, and differs in the closeness they need from me (which has also varied by age).

I had my first son at 16, he’s 27 now and we have a wonderful relationship, we have travelled all over the world together. I adore him, and vice versa. My 2nd son is 16 and I can in all honesty say that since his terrible first year crying and waking at night he’s never caused me a days trouble. He’s super bright, looking to apply to Oxbridge, polite, still calls me Mama. I have a daughter too, I must admit I did want a daughter second time round but of course I wouldn’t change DS2 for the world. None of them. I couldn’t imagine I’d be any closer to a daughter than my eldest

Congrats OP.

I am a mum to two sons, if I am being honest I did want boys, no logical reason why I felt that way. I have never felt that I have missed out by not having a daughter, but I am sure whether I had sons or daughters I would have loved being their mum equally.

DS1 is bolshy, hot tempered, contrary and looks scruffy no matter what I do to him! But he is blisteringly funny, clever, very loving and extremely stoic.

DS2 is the sweetest, most cherubic little thing, so affectionate. He has me totally wrapped round his little finger and we both know it. He does however have an alarming propensity for getting naked, and is a bit of a wimp🤣

Boys are awesome - I have zero regrets about not having a girl!