School have just highlighted how unemployable I am...

[grannyinapram]

Failed at the most basic task today- I couldn't figure out Video calls so now my little boy missed out on his first school lesson. It reduced me to tears.
I'm going to need to find a job in a few years and this just highlighted how behind i am compared to most. I can use mumsnet and kind of email. That's it.
I don't even get word anymore because I only know the old word from when I was at school.
I did an online course a few years ago and you had to go through the website to submit your work and use email and I used to cry every month because no matter how many times DH showed me I JUST DONT GET IT. I hate this, I feel so behind but I literally can't remember how to do 'simple' tasks. I even had to have phonecards from universal credit when we signed on for a bit at the start of lockdown.
I'm in my mid 20s.
Why don't I get it?
Been a sahm for 8 years now. I'm at least 8 years behind.

how do people just know how it works? oh god I'm crying again...

Could you be autistic /ADHD/Dyslexic or some other neurodivergence? I sometimes struggle with basic things, especially if they are unfamiliar or if I dont use them often. Even though I am very capable in other areas.

Knowing I had a condition that made things difficult helped me be kinder to myself and work out ways to learn new things/recall old information in a way that is compatible with my learning needs.

Next time your partner shows you try taking photos of each step on your phone. I find having a visual to refer to really helps.

Oh lovely, it will get easier! But you do have to keep trying and as other people have said, have a practice on your own with no deadline. You are not alone - Covid has made everything harder (me shouting through a closed window trying to talk my mum through a computer program was comedy gold).
If you still haven't got it in another couple of weeks, give me a message and I will practise with you if you want.

Is this because you left school early?

I’m sure you have some useful skills. Retail clothes sales or a supermarket?

Vision2learn do accredited online courses, they do level one and two IT skills.

You need about 10 hours per week to do it and it makes you feel more accomplished when you’ve done a unit. It’s all free.

Youtube is brilliant too, when I wanted to learn about copying my signature onto letters I found a really helpful PA who taught me how to do it on YouTube. It took me three hours to manage it.

I'm teaching using new tech and embarrassing myself drily in front of teenagers who seem to know their way round it so fast
I defo feel like an old dog who can't learn new tricks but every day i get to grips with a tiny bit of it
Don't be so hard on yourself it takes time
I find it helps to make notes to myself because of sleep deprivation I can't remember anything from one day to the next

I specifically chose I job, which I could do so I could avoid computer use as I had a block. Then 2020 came along.......
And my job transferred suddenly online OR I stopped earning. I genuinly cannot believe what I can do now online. I still feel some anxiety but accept that it may sometimes go wrong or it's ok if I don't send in my ds schoolwork everyday.
I watched alot of videos on youtube. I ask for help. I try to give myself time to figure it out. Your dc are better off if they see you forgiving yourself, rather than being harsh on yourself.
Best of luck!

When I taught ICT in schools to both children and adults, the adults who found it most challenging had to write the instructions down

Videos were no good, they needed to refer back easily.

So write down every step and refer as often as you need to. Don't do big tasks, just what you need to do each time. Eventually you'll get it!

To be honest it is a bit strange that a twenty something can’t use technology. I’m in my thirties and grew up with computers, had a phone since I was a teenage, laptop since university. No one taught me to use these things it’s just you learn as you go. At work we wouldn’t hire a young person in their twenties who couldn’t use technology. It’s generally the younger ones coming through who teach the older staff how to use the new things! If you want to get a job the best thing you could do would be to start practising now, use your home computer everyday, teach yourself something new on it everyday, just something small. Learn to use all the Microsoft programs as you’ll need at least word, excel and PowerPoint. Learn to use email properly.

To be honest it is a bit strange that a twenty something can’t use technology.

So? What does it matter if it’s strange? It’s the situation OP is in and she wants to change it.

Ask your dh to show you again and write down every single instruction.

Then ask a friend/family member if you can email them instead of texting so you can practise.
After you’ve emailed back and forth a few times, it would become easier.

If you're actually crying at the computer because you can't send an email after being shown multiple times, I'd say thats pretty much unemployable. You can barely even apply for any job now other than online.

You need to write yourself instructions that make sense to you and that you will be able to follow the next time you try something. That's the way most people learn how to use systems and programs that are new to them. Unfortunately, if you don't use things regularly you do forget.

This makes me think of my mental block with driving. What solved it for me was to drive every day.

By doing it every day it becomes second nature as your experience builds.

You're not helping yourself by outsourcing to your DH. You just need to get on and do it.

@YouBoughtMeAWall

To be honest it is a bit strange that a twenty something can’t use technology.

So? What does it matter if it’s strange? It’s the situation OP is in and she wants to change it.

I gave a sensible suggestion as to how to improve the situation.

I was trying to highlight, without trying to be too harsh, that as younger people have grown up around technology it’s generally expected that they are competent when applying for jobs. OP needs to have skills way beyond being able to use email to be employable in a job where computers are used.

TBH even tech savvy mums can be driven to distraction by the online lessons - my son's have missed a fair few as neither they or I could make the links work! Chin up, practice and I'm sure you'll get better at it. Computer programmes like Word haven't changed very much at all really, you can get back up to speed x

I missed a team meating with Senco got so paniced with time factor locked myself out..

I have attended 2 meetings since... I tend to log of 10-15 minutes early as it stops me flapping.

OP, if you're using half the online learning tools I am then they're completely unintuitive and I still can't locate the things DC are meant to be working on months in.

You need email - but some interfaces are better than others. Gmail iPhone app is ok, for example, but the layout on desktop is useless.

While it's true some people are more comfortable with tech stuff than others, generally the more you use most of the programs the more familiar they become. What sort of employment are you likely to go into and how much are you likely to need to be able to Word, etc regularly?

I would say that most of us who use technology every day don't know everything about it. I use excel all the time, but I only use a fraction of what it can do. I use Teams for work and Zoom for non work related stuff, and varioue databases at work.

I'm 62 so never used this kind of technology until well into my thirties. It was a steep learning curve, and like driving, the more you do it the more confident you become.

Does your husband have the time and patience and sit down with you to explain the basics? Can you take notes of the steps you need to follow?

Please don't give up now.

First of all there are loads of jobs out there where there is no IT at all or the amount of IT stuff you have to use in minimal. It is likely you will need to apply online but in those situations your OH could help you. What that means is you are not unemployable, but you could be limiting your options.

What I will say is this; if it is impacting you (which I feel like it is based on your post) you will really benefit from learning little bits and bobs here and there until you are comfortable. As such a huge amount of the world is online now you will be missing out.

I work in IT and when I started my first job in the industry 3 years ago, I could email, confidently use the internet and was ok with microsoft office. I thought I had not a chance of ever being anyone 'techy' now I can do a bit of coding, I can use dozens of tools, use microsoft office confidently and a million and one other things. What I am saying is that you will get there but be kind to yourself, take it slowly and build up your skills bit by bit.

You've got this

@Nanny0gg

When I taught ICT in schools to both children and adults, the adults who found it most challenging had to write the instructions down

Videos were no good, they needed to refer back easily.

So write down every step and refer as often as you need to. Don't do big tasks, just what you need to do each time. Eventually you'll get it!

Also This. When I was learning the more advanced stuff for my job I wrote loads of notes and they were each tiny tiny step. Made a HUGE difference

This is a bit like saying "Everyone else can manage a 5k walk but I get exhausted after ten minutes, there must be something wrong with my legs", before revealing that you've only left your house twice in the last eight years. Of course other people are going to be better at things than you, if they do them all the time and you don't. No-one magically acquires the ability to send emails and video call just by being in the presence of a computer, we all have to practice - most people don't think of it as practicing because we do it all the time, but that's what it is.

Whether you hate tech or not, you have a young child so you don't have a choice. Your responsibility to keep up with the absolute basics of modern life so that you can ensure his online safety/keep up with home admin/provide for your family should you need to trumps the fact that you don't like using a smartphone. It's not about Teams, which can be difficult for anyone to get their head around at first, but you should at least be able to send emails, search job listings, create a basic Word document and use a search engine to learn a minimal amount of information about things that your son might want to do online.

Unless you have a severe learning disability there's nothing fundamentally different about you compared to other people that means you can't also improve with practice. No-one is inherently better than you - you're just as capable, and you CAN do it, but you need to actually make an effort, not just go "oh no, I can't" and immediately give up. Practice like you would any other new skill, consistently but in a low key way with no-one looking over your shoulder, and you'll get there.

after covid, you'll be able to get free computer tuition at your local library, with a volunteer computer "buddy".

My children  all grew up with computers at their fingertips. I was not remotely interested. Anything  I wanted, from word processing to  searches, I'd get a child to do it for me.  I was 50 when the youngest child left home, forcing me off my arse to learn how to do it myself. 

I joined a local free 6-week beginner course called "Computing for the Terrified" , a dozen middleaged technical virgins taught by Frank. I vividly remember that it took an exasperated Frank two hair-tearing lessons to teach us how to turn our screens on and off and start up our own page.

DH's work colleagues rolled in the aisles every week at his hilarious serial descriptions of the latest struggles at CFTT. But at the end of the course, they dug around in the stockroom for defunct parts and made me a ramshackle but functioning computer of my own. By now I could get online and find the same web page two days running. Everything else I picked up along the way and taught myself, very slowly, in my own time. Now I run most of my life online, no sweat. As someone else mentioned, it helps to write everything down on paper, step by step.

 You can do it, you will do it.   You just needed the incentive and your child 's education is it.

I put YANBU because you’re not! Being worried about using tech isn’t unreasonable, but if us something you can overcome. I’d ask the school if they could give you a quick lesson on using whatever tech they’re using for online lessons. They should be able to send you some instructions. Also, YouTube videos are your friend. Just type a question into Google such as How do I use Zoom ( or whatever app school use) and you’ll get a video up to watch. If you post here what they use I can look for some links for you.

As far as Word goes, just go on it and start practicing. Again, YouTube will gave videos.

Have a look tonight with your DH about how school want you to do the video call. Have they emailed you a link? Is it on zoom? It should say in the email. Can he not log in with you in the morning so you know how to do it?