School have just highlighted how unemployable I am...

[grannyinapram]

Failed at the most basic task today- I couldn't figure out Video calls so now my little boy missed out on his first school lesson. It reduced me to tears.
I'm going to need to find a job in a few years and this just highlighted how behind i am compared to most. I can use mumsnet and kind of email. That's it.
I don't even get word anymore because I only know the old word from when I was at school.
I did an online course a few years ago and you had to go through the website to submit your work and use email and I used to cry every month because no matter how many times DH showed me I JUST DONT GET IT. I hate this, I feel so behind but I literally can't remember how to do 'simple' tasks. I even had to have phonecards from universal credit when we signed on for a bit at the start of lockdown.
I'm in my mid 20s.
Why don't I get it?
Been a sahm for 8 years now. I'm at least 8 years behind.

how do people just know how it works? oh god I'm crying again...

100% agree with those saying, do some things when’s there is nothing at stake and you have plenty of time. The way you are trying to do things, is setting you up for failure before you start. Most of us would have trouble with the same circumstances.
More importantly, who posted this on social media for you? If you did it yourself - well, you are already doing IT just fine. Seriously, social media counts ! It’s fiddly and technical. The things you say you can’t do, are really no harder, just different and unfamiliar.

Technology moves so quickly, I have had to learn to use teams for my daughters online teaching and I work on computers daily.

I'd get DH to sit down with you tonight and you can call him from the laptop to get your confidence up.

I'm surprised at you saying you've only just got a phone though, does that mean all house admin such as insurances and utilities all fall to DH then? Although your statement about being behind the times is right, you are never too old to learn. There are lots of cheap or free courses around. Technology is pretty much current and the future.

Any teacher will tell you that the rise of mobile phones actually means most young people are not very good with technology for learning. It is actually remarkable how bad young people are so don't beat yourself up. I don't think it really is unusual for someone in their 20s as others have intimated.

When the first lockdown came we had to quickly teach my Mum how to use a mac, plus skype etc. She literally wrote every step on some paper and went through it each time she needed to use the computer. Eventually she didn't;t need her notes anymore.

But can you do this? Just write down each step as someone is showing you - even down the the minute detail if it helps. Then just follow them and repeat each time - probably on your own time for practise.

Don't let DH sit with you and do it.

You do it and he sits next you and gives you help if you ask for it.

Then, when you've done something once, do it again and then again. Then do it the next day.

You'll get there.

I've used lots of operating systems & applications, & I find that at the beginning I have to make notes on how to do things, just to remind myself, & then it gets automatic - although if I don't do something for a while I can forget, so the notes still come in handy.

So my advice is to get a notebook & write down anything & everything you start learning to do with a computer, e.g. when your DH explains something. Set things out in the notebook so that you can find them quickly & easily when you need to email in some work or whatever, so that trying to find the right info doesn't stress you out. Use headings, sections, different coloured pens, post-its as bookmarks - whatever suits you. Some notebooks come with built-in dividers; some have different colours of ruled lines in each section. If you're fond of stationery this is a great excuse to indulge : buy stationery you love & the whole task will become nicer.

Add pictures if that helps. Perhaps ask DH to do screenshots & print them out for you - then annotate the screenshots with whatever is meaningful to YOU. Make it personal to you. Whatever YOU need to remember is the important thing; forget about anyone else. (Nobody is born just knowing, btw - we all have to learn. Some applications work in the same basic way, which makes it easier to go from one to another & this might explain why some people seem to just know. Maybe if you work out one application & get comfortable with it, you'll find the next one more intuitive.)

Good luck!

There's nothing like home-schooling to make you feel inadequate both with tech and as a parent, too.

I usually manage to fix things in the end with a lot of swearing and I can never remember how I did it the next time.

DH gets frustrated with me

This is part of your problem. If you have a partner who gets frustrated you get scared to ask and then you never learn. And someone making you feel stupid for trying to learn is the opposite of what you need.

Try to find out about employability courses in your area. Most areas have loads of these - and they will all offer basic IT skills. If you can google you can find out about them or go and ask at your library or job centre.

Any teacher will tell you that the rise of mobile phones actually means most young people are not very good with technology for learning

They won't. What do you think mobile phones are?

This is part of your problem. If you have a partner who gets frustrated you get scared to ask and then you never learn. And someone making you feel stupid for trying to learn is the opposite of what you need.

It is incredibly frustrating to try to explain something like a basic pc thing to someone who just keeps "I can't get it". Many of us are having this with parents. No matter how calm person normally is if you have to keep repeating yourself you do get frustrated.
I now have a rule of explaining everything twice at maximum. If I have to repeat again because no notes were taken, they are on their own. That way I don't have to get frustrated at them.

There is a point when a person has to go and find the information on how to do something themselves.

Ask your DS to help you. I find whenever stuck with technology asking a child always helps, they just seem to 'get' it.

What is intuitive to some is less so to others op. Don't worry. Anything new and I get stuck too. Try and play around with it, don't cry over it, you're not alone!

I’m similar OP. Everything regarding tech hates me. I used to work in offices and hated it so much because I was so useless with everything. I’ve temped in many offices too. I have never worked anywhere where I haven’t broken things like photocopiers and printers, just by pressing the on button. People actually marvel at it. They watch me and say they’ve never seen anything like it. I’ve been on numerous courses and I just frustrated all the teachers and students. I worked at one place for nearly 4 years and had to use the database daily and still couldn’t understand it. Last job they kept extending my probation till I left after 8 months because I couldn’t use the databases.

I’ve had to accept I’ll never get it (like driving) and think of jobs which don’t rely so much on tech. What job are you planning on going back to? Can you do something completely different?

Hi I hope you get this worked out. Is it any help if I tell you I know how you feel? When we had to use the school website for homeschooling it was a massive stress for me. It seems like everything is multiple times more complicated for me on a computer than it should be. I consider myself clever and intuitive in many ways haha but I'm absolutely useless with technology. It's not much easier having a deadline and being put on the spot and having a child too! Good luck

The key is to understand what to do, not just to memorize it.

My df is 90 and with help on the phone he has learned how to use zoom in the past year.
You can do this.

Some people get tech and some people don’t. I have noticed this swings wildly in both directions and it’s NOT limited to age. Naturally, people who ‘get’ tech easily love it (that’s me) and people who don’t get it hate it (that’s my DH)
I am not academic or clever really but for some reason I just get technology. I always have since a child (I am in my 40’s) It comes easily to me, I rarely get frustrated with it as usually I can google whatever hiccup is happening and resolve it myself.
Other people I know just don’t get it at all, yes they are very academic, intelligent and employable in other areas.
You are NOT alone, even if it seems like everyone gets it, they don’t!
However, you need to work on this because technology is only going to become more and more prevalent in the workplace and every area of life.
You need to make yourself practice. Force yourself on your phone and find out what every function does. Google things like ‘things an iPhone can do’ and then set out to do them. The whole world of answers and tech help is on google so you can find out anything you want or need!
If your boy is using teams, look up some beginner you tube videos on how to use teams. If it’s zoom, you tube how to work zoom. Make it your business to actually take time to learn, watch videos a few times and most importantly actually play around with the application you want to use. Doing and experiencing is the only way to make it stick

OP, I think you should step away from the computer, at least for the first few days.
If you have a mobile phone I expect you’re already using it for internet or to check email messages. If you aren’t they are easy to install on a phone.
Then, when you receive the link to DS’s lesson via mail, just click on it or copy it into the browser.
Your microphone and camera are just a “yes” away.

Tell the class teacher you’re having problems and ask a fellow parent to send you a photo of any work sheets. You can just copy the answers onto a piece of paper and send it back as a photo. That will do for the first week.
Then, step by step, start using the computer for those tasks.
A printer with a scanner is also a good idea.
Is there wifi in the house?

Haven't read all PPs but in case no one has told you (and you cannot be more hopeless than me) - regarding you saying you can't get 'word' now - I presume you mean the way to write something out that can then be printed or saved - it is called ' word pad' - free on Windows 10 and other Windows programs (Microsoft as opposed to Apple) and it comes up via the window symbol in left bottom corner.

Hi OP, I will be brutally honest here and say if you struggle with even a mobile phone or navigating websites , then you are in trouble. It would be the equivalent of not being able to read and write in an older generation.

Tech is our future - and while you don't need to be whizzy with it and write code or fix a laptop, you should be able to do work on a website, be proficient on a mobile phone and at least understand basic word processing. Especially as you're in your mid 20s only so grew up with technology around you. There is no excuse really to not manage at least the basics.

In the nicest possible way, I did a project in some very impoverished parts of Africa where the women who had never been to school, had taught themselves to use computers with local humanitarian groups. That's how common place technology now is.

You can get books that will teach you, or follow an online course (if you can manage the basics), get a class, or just let your husband teach you. If you want to do any job, you will need these basics and the more time goes on, the more complex the technology gets - so please treat this as a priority and learn.

@Littlewhitedove2

I was just about to post the same thing. I used to work in IT support (though thankfully not now) and the number of otherwise sane, intelligent professional people who were frankly clueless about IT was a never ending source of frustration for me.

That is until it was gently / not so gently pointed out to me that they used IT to get their jobs done and had no interest in it beyond that. They knew what they needed to know through using the same software day in day out and didn't need to know anything else as that's what I was paid to do.

If IT is not your thing then think about the skills you have in other areas which your DH does not have for example.

Regarding your DH getting frustrated I have some sympathy. I have never ending reserves of patience at work as I'm paid to do that but at home my brother takes care of the "how do I do that" questions from my parents as I find it all too frustrating.

It's like teaching someone to drive. My parents could never have taught me to drive as we would have murdered each other and I would never have dreamed of trying to teach my DW to drive for the same reason.

Ha. I onl learned how to send a solo email last year ! Previous to that I'd just keep reply to the same stream if emails.......dp can't send solo emails still. I do it for him on the rare occasions he sends emails. Well he types it, I just set the address. 🙄

I am having to teach my dad this - he is in his 80s and knew it all but has forgotten whilst caring full time for my mum, so he will say 'I want to know how to print out an email' and we will do that. He might make a few notes (you could make more). Next time he will say 'I want to know how to create a new document in Word' and we will do that.

Decide what you want to do and get your DH to show you - tiny steps to start with and make COPIOUS notes. I do this at work and it became so popular we now have guides for everything. Desk instructions for every single thing we do.

Hi OP

Check out your local FE college website. All the local ones here are running free courses to increase employability and one of the courses is IT basics like word and email. I did if at the start of lockdown and it would be ideal for your situation.

I am similar TBH! Although a bit older! I do struggle as well.I often think its a bit like a foreign language, if you use it every day it becomes second nature .If only occasionally then its a struggle .As PP above have said ,writing it down in bullet points helps a lot as well .Reckless Ruby your post resonates with me, as my DS thinks I am beyond the pale as far as Tech is concerned! Getting new phone next week ,so waiting for the comments to start !