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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School have just highlighted how unemployable I am...

238 replies

grannyinapram · 18/01/2021 09:55

Failed at the most basic task today- I couldn't figure out Video calls so now my little boy missed out on his first school lesson. It reduced me to tears.
I'm going to need to find a job in a few years and this just highlighted how behind i am compared to most. I can use mumsnet and kind of email. That's it.
I don't even get word anymore because I only know the old word from when I was at school.
I did an online course a few years ago and you had to go through the website to submit your work and use email and I used to cry every month because no matter how many times DH showed me I JUST DONT GET IT. I hate this, I feel so behind but I literally can't remember how to do 'simple' tasks. I even had to have phonecards from universal credit when we signed on for a bit at the start of lockdown.
I'm in my mid 20s.
Why don't I get it?
Been a sahm for 8 years now. I'm at least 8 years behind.

how do people just know how it works? oh god I'm crying again...

OP posts:
sashh · 19/01/2021 06:57

I am curious what employment uses basically no tech. I thought even cleaning is now techy

According to one group of childcare students I taught - prostitution

That led to an interesting discussion on whether prostitutes have to file tax returns.

theantsgomarchin · 19/01/2021 07:06

You seem fairly competent on mn which isn't always the easiest to navigate. You even know how to do strikethrough so I don't actually believe that you cant use the just eat / deliveroo apps like you claim, it's just because for whatever reason you either haven't / or don't want to to learn to.

Your skill level really is at rock bottom if you only recently got a mobile number and can't even use simple food ordering apps on it. I'd suggest taking the time to practice as technology is only evolving faster and in your mid 20s you've got a long life ahead of you. You're going to find it very difficult not knowing even basic mobile phone skills!

ReallySpicyCurry · 19/01/2021 07:12

Get a smartphone and an ipad and just whack away at them. You'll soon catch up. Remember, it's a tool, it works for you and you can't hurt its feelings.

Don't you have friends that you have WhatsApp groups with and that sort of thing?

Start ordering your pizza on JustEat and booking your GP.

I'm actually quite shocked that you're mid 20s and this behind with technology- not in a judgy way, just that I'm not much older than you and by no means a technological whizz kid myself, but with the way our generation relies on tech, especially in regards to communication/maintaining friendships, I would have been very lonely at times if I hadn't known how to use it. That's before I think about the rest of the day to day stuff I use it for.

Even the toddler group I helped out at pre covid - all done online.

I know it's hard when you have a bit of a mental block over something, but you really should throw all you can at fixing this, especially as your kids get older, because you'll be at a real disadvantage when they go online more themselves.

doadeer · 19/01/2021 07:15

You need to keep practicing as much as you can it's the only way. I am techy, my mum isn't at all and she has had to learn with covid as her business has gone online, she has amazed herself with what she can do but we had to do it over and over again.

Find out how you need to learn... Watch videos, write it down etc.

There's hardly anything you can actually mess up... It would be impossible for you to cause permenant damage you need to just try. But do it not around your DH he doesn't sound supportive

Whatwouldyourmamado · 19/01/2021 07:21

Sorry there have been 10 pages and I cant read everyone's suggestions

However I have to train people in using a system. Abilities vary and how teaching methods.

Some need to do it themselves as I train
Some can just watch what I do
Some need written manuals with just text
Some need written manuals with pictures
Some can follow a video
Some can just do it without any support

No one is more or less daft as the previous just their brains are wired different.

Your dh will get frustrated as he can do it and unless you are used to training it's really tricky to be patient when you can just do it.

I would suggest do some simple tasks

On word, create a document, copy some text from a magazine or a letter you have received. Save the document as a new name, if you can print it and email it.

Once you have done that close the document.

Now try and find it again. (Best thing to do is save to desktop)

When you find it try and do some editing. Highlighting the text, play with font changes, size change, underline. Doesnt matter what you do.

Save as a new name.

Do this process several times. The rule is normally 10. Do something 10 times and it starts to create synapses in your brain to recall what you do.

By doing it with a meaningless document the pressure is off and you can get it wrong without worrying.

You can then do this with excel to.

Once you have finished messing about try and write out the contents of your freezer, all of your utility companies. Family and friends birthdays. Things that have real meaning to you.

Video calls ask a friend or your dh if you can practice with them. When it doesnt matter and you can fiddle and play with buttons without any pressure.

Dont worry about how long it takes you but most jobs now have some form of tech involved so you are better off practicing at your own speed and building your confidence now so you have it in your pocket ready for when or if you decide to return to work.

OrangeSlices998 · 19/01/2021 07:31

You do have to take some ownership of this OP, technology isn’t going anywhere, and while some jobs don’t use much technology in their day to day functions most do at least in the application process and it is going to hinder you if you don’t take simple steps to just play around with it. You’re not going to break the iPad if you play around with Just Eat, for example, so just have a go. It’s a really simple interface, and quite intuitive once you just have a play. Your attitude of shouting at a screen/crying at it/refusing to try isn’t going to get you anywhere.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 19/01/2021 08:54

@sashh

I am curious what employment uses basically no tech. I thought even cleaning is now techy

According to one group of childcare students I taught - prostitution

That led to an interesting discussion on whether prostitutes have to file tax returns.

😂 I guess!
Moo678 · 19/01/2021 09:06

Please don’t feel so bad OP. I’m a consultant doctor and I still can’t get Teams to work for homeschool. I cried loads of times during last lockdown because I was trying so hard and just felt like IT was against me.

Lots of good suggestions on here - please cut yourself some slack and I agree - practice at a low stress time. Once this shit show is over maybe you could think about an introductory level college course to help you. Sending hugs - you’re not the only one struggling at the moment.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 19/01/2021 09:08

I think everyone agrees that teams are evil😂 The moving camera pisses me off. And they seemes to slowdown my pc start up and I couldn't figure out how to make them stop starting automatically so I just deleted that bastard😂

rebeccachoc · 19/01/2021 10:16

Please don't be offended by the age thing here but my mum is the same, I tell her one thing about technology and it pushes out of her memory what task we were trying to do in the first place, so totally understand where you are coming from.

What I've done for want of a better word, is idiots guides to all of the tasks she needs to do regularly. I literally write a few words like first you need to press the start button and then I attach a photo of the computer screen as she sees it and then I've circled in red the start button she needs to press and so on for each step until the task is completed. She can follow these easily and she feels so much happier and confident with a little help from my guide she can now do X task. The point of me saying this, is could your partner not do the same for you? It's time consuming to write them but then it's win win for both of you, he doesn't have to repeat the same things again and again and you get your confidence knowing that you can do it on your own with your guide.

Fatandfifty49 · 19/01/2021 22:36

@SchrodingersImmigrant if you do ctrl alt del, you pull upTask Manager which shows everything that is running and you can disable the program from Start up there

SchrodingersImmigrant · 20/01/2021 10:49

[quote Fatandfifty49]@SchrodingersImmigrant if you do ctrl alt del, you pull upTask Manager which shows everything that is running and you can disable the program from Start up there[/quote]
Thanks😁 I went and deleted them. Teams are horrible.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 20/01/2021 14:12

@SchrodingersImmigrant - here in Australia the teachers had to use Teams for their staff meetings, and meetings with external bods like local directors etc. - they said it was AWFUL. When we were looking at holding our P&C (PTA equivalent) meetings via some kind of remote tech, they suggested Teams but one of our group, who is also a teachers' aide, said No, it's dreadful, use Zoom instead! So we do. Grin

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