Kids and schools book choice of Mister Tom

[LiJo2015]

Ill keep this short as currently baby napped with 5 month old so typing one handed!

11 yo son currently readjng mister tom for school. Came down stairs yesterday and visibly shocked and a little shaken at the part about his abusive mums treatment of his new baby sibling.

No warning about this book came from the school. I have contacted the school to explain that although i wouldnt want storylines like this not to be covered but they can be distressing and would want the assurance that its being handled empathetically.

So

AINBU - if so, why

AIBU - if so, why

Unless there's a backstory of DV or abuse in your family, I think you're overreacting. Surely this was an opportunity to talk to your son about all these kinds of things? I think you need to help him to process what he's read.

My son loves a bit of misery lit- anything by Michael Morpurgo, John Boyne, etc. Children are often a lot more resilient than we give them credit for.

It is a sad story and that part is shocking in contrast to the rest of the book. I would have preferred them to do Carrie’s War in year 6 and Mr Tom in year 7. Year 7 read The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas which is also very sad and distressing to read.

Is he Year 6 or 7? I think I read Goodnight Mr Tom at a similar age, can't remember if through school or off my own bat. It is a very shocking episode in the book and remains with me now but I think it's an important book to read and I don't think 11 is too young.

It’s a great book! I first read it when I was 8.

Other books are just as potentially distressing, such as War Horse, or Boy in the Striped Pajamas.

Was one of my favourites as a kid. I think you're overreacting. You didn't think a book about ww2 was going to have some distressing sections. It's quite a sad book. As other posters said it's a good opportunity to sit down and discuss these issues

It's definitely a tough read. My son read it at the same age, and it's the only thing (book or film) that's ever made him cry (he's not generally the 'heart on sleeve' type). I actually suspect that the school possibly changed its mind about the book, as they were reading it together in class and stopped halfway through - possibly they just ran out of time on the topic, but possibly it was too tough for the kids. Because I know the book well, as soon as I heard they were doing it I started reading it at home with DS as well, so I could make sure he was fully understanding it and processing the issues. Very glad I did, given his reaction to it, and the fact that we were able to finish it when the class stopped reading it. I think it's a wonderful book, and most of it is manageable, but that section when Will goes back to London is really hard-hitting (the child abuse of Will and the death of the baby). So I would say YANBU to at least have a conversation with the school about it.

At 11, YABU. You can't shelter them from everything and its important for them to understand different situations. I think you are overreacting especially by emailing the school.

It is a 'standard' y6 book so not unusual for them to be reading it.
However there are some very distressing scenes.
I would imagine that normally they would read it in class together so they can have immediate discussion. (Was he 'reading ahead'?)

Have you seen the TV film of it starring John Thaw? Very sensitively done.

I’ve taught that book multiple times with Year 7, it’s a perfectly acceptable selection by the class teacher. We used to stop and have discussions about the distressing elements of the book to talk through what was happening to William, and how we all felt about it. Is the class teacher having these sorts of discussions with the kids? Appreciate that it’s harder to achieve that usual cosy class book discussion that we would normally have at school right now.

And yes, it’s a bloody brilliant book, as other posters have said!

So is “Back Home” by the same author, which is great for girls aged 12-16 if anybody wants a recommendation for their kids.

I disagree with some PPs - I think the way that episode is written is very distressing, and tougher than some equivalent books. It's actually nothing to do with the WW2 setting - other bits like Zach's death or the deaths of others in the war are sad but totally manageable - it's the horror of the child abuse that is so tough to read.

I don’t think you are over reacting and I am a teacher of RE where we cover extremely sensitive topics.

This book should not be read at home without any support and explanation provided throughout by a qualified teacher.

I’m currently moving my topics around hoping to keep the most sensitive ones for when students are back in lesson, such as euthanasia and abortion etc.

It’s Ill thought out and I would raise it, not as a complaint but as a question.

Love that book, still have a copy. I was reading all sorts at 11 though.

@SachaStark Thanks for the recommendation. Just bought Back Home 👍

DD10 watched / read this with school and really enjoyed it - she talked about the violence and was shocked that it could have happened, it gave her a different perspective and greater insight into this. Then she read Back Home (one of my favourites from when I was at school) and loved that too - the violence isn’t shied away from in that either.

This book should not be read at home without any support and explanation provided throughout by a qualified teacher

Say what? So this dangerous book shouldn't be read independently by children without support from a qualified teacher? Leave off.

Back Home is a great story, there was a radio play of it, very good. I was told of a film but they changed Rusty to be a boy! Grrrr@
Sorry off topic.

I agree that Back Home is less upsetting. It is really grim, that bit. I remember my teaching reading it aloud to us when we were 8/9, though.

I think it's fair to send a note in saying he was upset, just to let them know - if I were the teacher I'd find that useful.

I don't follow how this would be 'sheltering' him.

@Romancer

Back Home is a great story, there was a radio play of it, very good. I was told of a film but they changed Rusty to be a boy! Grrrr@ Sorry off topic.

No, really? What a shit misogynistic choice.

Goodnight Mr Tom has been taught in Yr 6 for a very long time. I did it when I was at primary school and that's pushing 30 years ago now. Michelle Magorian's books are excellent and she deals with the hard issues sensitively.

There was a TV series of Back Home, in the late nineties, I think.

I remember watching it as a kid, and I think it was decent. I’m sure Hayley Mills played Rusty’s mother.

Anyway, glad to provide the recommendation! It’s one of my favourites from when I was a kid, and I always end up lending it out to girls at school who enjoyed Mister Tom.

We used to study Goodnight Mr Tom in Top Juniors (Y6) when I taught in the early 1980s, and have both taught it and seen others teach it over the intervening years. It is a wonderful book and entirely appropriate for that age group.

The DV storyline is shocking, but actually so important to introduce and discuss. I have always known children to be really thoughtful and mature in those discussions and I know of a number of children directly helped to speak out once the subject had been broached.

However, it is more difficult when children are on their own at home reading, rather than in class in a secure and ordered learning environment. If a child is not used to reading books with challenging themes, or this triggers some link for them, I would have forewarned the parents or guardians so that they were prepared if the child had questions.

@Hotcuppatea

No it should be taught at school. Some kids parents will help them read it and understand what’s happening, other kids will just be totally left to it, left shocked, sad and confused.

Thanks for your replies. As a survivor of childhood abuse i am very aware that this may be triggering for me. I have spoken to my son about abuse prior to him reading this book. And to be clear im not advocating they dont read books like this, but contacted the school for reassurance about how they are handling topics like this.

Interesting to read how one poster has suggested she is purposefully shifting topics around to ensure hardhitting topics are being read in a supportive environment. Part of me agrees with this. Im thankful that my son was able to come to me after this section but wonder about kids that dont.

I remember reading that in Y7 and being confused as to why there was a dead baby in a cupboard. I assumed that the baby had been stillborn and the mum in her grief couldn't part from it. This wasn't a point of discussion in our classroom, which was really a missed opportunity.