Do you think most couples who get married in their twenties last?

[Whydoesmybackhurt]

I've phrased it clumsily, sorry. Do you think couples who meet and marry in their twenties generally are seen to be more successful marriages?

I can't imagine marrying that young, I'm nothing like the person I was in my early twenties. Broke off an engagement and shudder at the fact I nearly married a massive twat. But that's on me clearly, like I say I was really immature

I'm fascinated by people who marry young and successfully grow together with their spouse, just can't imagine that experience at all! I do think it's seen as the 'right' timeline to aspire to in general.

DH and I met when I was 18, he was 19. We married 4 years later, still together. We’ve been married for 19 years this year.

My friend is still with her first boyfriend. They met their early teens, married in their early twenties.

Met dh when I was 17, he was 22. Married when I was 21. We will celebrate our ruby wedding in a year or so. We have definitely grown together. Lockdown has meant we have spent a lot more time together than usual and yet now I'm back at work, I can't wait to get home each day, to spend time together. Despite what a pp said, I definitely did not settle by marrying young and yes, we do love each other deeply.

I don't think you can use age as a definition of who will have a successful marriage, I think maturity & readiness as said is better to judge on.
I met DH when I was 17/18 and we've been together for over 20yrs now and married for 15. No plans to get rid of him just yet

Don’t most people get married in their 20s? Given the average age to have kids is around 30?
We got married at 24. Still going strong at 31 ☺️
My parents got married at 21, 40 years strong!

DH and I were mid 20s when we married ... in 1986. We met in the first year of uni and had been together since we were 19. I don't think we were particularly young 20-somethings though, iykwim.

Not married, but lived with DP since I was 21 (a long 13 years ago). I am very diferent to the person I was then, but so is he. We’re blissfully happy and I think the secret is that we’ve grown together at roughly the same speed and most importantly, in the same direction.

We married in our mid twenties and are still happily married 15 years later. I think it's 50/50 whether any marriage lasts isn't it?

Depends what age is usual for their generation. When it was usual to marry young, yes. Nowadays, not so sure.

Most of the couples I know who have split met in their mid-late thirties.

Clock ticking, married and had babies quickly, then realised they weren’t compatible long term.

@Pawpatrollers2021 - I don’t know about you, but I’ve learnt since that people who say this sort of thing (and not just about relationships other life stuff) are usually saying what they will assume will happen to them etc x

Friend 1 - engaged and married approx 21. Divorced after he cheated, five ish years in.

Friend 2 x dated 15-18, engaged. Broke off. Back together and married at 24. Still married 24 years later.

Friend 3 - met when she was 15, him 21. Engaged at 18, married at 21. Divorced when affair happened.

Me - met dh at 23, married at 27 and still married at 48.

Depends more on the person than the age imo.

Married at 23, divorced 15 years later (should have been 15 weeks later)

Hardly any of my friends got married in their 20s and usually it was late 20s/cusp of 30.

So cannot really comment on the question you're asking.

I know for a fact in my 20s getting married was the furthest thing from my mind, also I shudder at the thought of time wasted with unsuitable men, one of whom I spent around 5 yrs with although we lived apart for a lot of this time- I still thank my lucky stars I didn't end up accidentally pregnant! I know my life would be very different to what it is like now.

I married the first time aged 20, and my husband married his first wife when he was in his early 20s. Both of us had long marriages, but to be honest, I think it was unrealistic to expect to stay together for life. Certainly among the people in my family and friends who have celebrated Golden weddings, it isn't all sweetness and light. They have "settled" for what they have. It doesn't mean they are very very happy together, just that divorce or separation are unthinkable for them.

I was 18, DH 22. Been married for 43 years.

Just an observation but out of my friends, so many spent their twenties with unsuitable partners and then around 29-30 they met men and quickly moved in and had children with them. It was as if someone fired a starting pistol around their 30th birthday and they threw caution to the wind.

Their children are now teenagers and the majority of them either realise they have nothing in common with their husbands and want out or actually dislike them but want to keep their family together.

The couples I know that married in their early twenties seem to fare much better. There have been bumps in the road but they are actually enjoying being together now their children are grown.

I think, like others have said, they had the luxury of time to get to know and understand each other and to build strong foundations. There is also an element of luck involved. Plus resilience, kindness, shared humour and an understanding that life changes so change with it.

I’m not sure but I’ve been with my partner for 12 years, we got married when I was 22 and he was 23.
There’s a few partnerships in my family that started young and have stayed strong but I think it’s just pot luck really!

Engaged at 21 and married at 23, still going well 21 years later. We did things like go inter-railing, stay in hostels, go to festivals in our early twenties, did a round-the-world trip in our late twenties and then had DS in our thirties.

DH and I got together at 20/ 30 and married at 28/38. Marrying earlier probably wouldn't have made any substantial difference, but having several years of living together was good for our confidence that it was sensible to formally and legally commit.

Many of the early 20s marriages did split up, often within a few years. Some not very surprising. The second marriages seem to have been more stable choices, but then they've had less time to be tested too.

Met DH when I was 19, he was 20. Moved in together after 3 days. Married when I was 24.
Loved each other to bits until his untimely death at 36. Still grieve him 29 years later. Never remarried. He was my soulmate.

Personally speaking it didn't work for me, married at 23, divorced 2 years later. Married my second DH at 30 - still together after 33 years.

But totally agree with 81 - just because people have a long marriage it absolutely doesn't mean it is a blissfully happy one.

Definitely!
I was 24 and DH 26.

Celebrating our silver wedding anniversary this year. Been together 30 years altogether. 2 fantastic now adult dc.
We're still very happy

Not one of my friends married in their 20s. Everyone was in their 30s. Everyone is still together. The men I dated in my 20s are not those I’d want to have married. My 20s were spent at uni, climbing the career ladder and dating unsuitable guys. So in my case most probably not.

Not for me.I married at 24 and divorced at 32.Met dh at nearly 33 and felt much more ready in my 30s.

Happily married to my DH at the age of 21 met at 19 and nearly 45 ! 2 dcs 20 and 18
Very happy and we have grown together he’s my best friend and soul mate 😊 x