Do you think most couples who get married in their twenties last?

[Whydoesmybackhurt]

I've phrased it clumsily, sorry. Do you think couples who meet and marry in their twenties generally are seen to be more successful marriages?

I can't imagine marrying that young, I'm nothing like the person I was in my early twenties. Broke off an engagement and shudder at the fact I nearly married a massive twat. But that's on me clearly, like I say I was really immature

I'm fascinated by people who marry young and successfully grow together with their spouse, just can't imagine that experience at all! I do think it's seen as the 'right' timeline to aspire to in general.

Interesting thought - I agree it depends on how ready the couple are.

I think it can go one of two ways when getting married young - either you don't support each other to grow as individuals and you end up splitting up, or you do enable each other to develop as people and therefore grow together.

I got married 3 years ago . My and my dh have been together 9 years. I was 33 when I got married . I was ready to get married then. In my 20's I wasn't ready . I definitely agree with you need to feel ready. 2 people I went to school with married young and are still together 20 years later . They are 36 so it can happen.

I really don’t think age is the thing. I think there are so many factors.

I got married at 21, was told by a lot of friends we’d be divorced before we were 30 (🙄). We are both now around 40, been through some fairly awful shit (family deaths, illness, redundancy, mental health etc) and I can honestly say he is what keeps me going, and I can’t speak for him but I’m pretty sure he’d say the same.

We want the same things in life. I’ve had friends marry at 20 and divorce, and 35 and divorce. 🤷🏼‍♀️

To add - I also agree there's a huge difference between getting married at 21 and 29.

I'm one of 6 sisters. One got married when she was 18 and the rest of us in our early 20s. Three of us are still married to the same person 35+ years later. Of the other three, two have been married twice and one of them 3 times in the same time period.

Of my immediate friends, all of whom married between 20&30, I'm the only one still married.

I'm not sure age is the reason though. Mostly it seems to be that they haven't grown in the same direction and, quite rightly, there's no need to stay married with someone who doesn't make you happy.

I got married at 52! first time ha ha.

We were 24 and 29 and 20 years later, still going strong. All our friends who married within a year or two of us are still together.

DH and I met at 23, and got married at 27. Celebrated our 18th anniversary last year.

@BeigeFoodLover I was told the same - by two people one of whom is divorced and one of whom was jilted - oh the irony.

We’ve had some really hard times as well which would test any relationship - miscarriage/IVF and a tough period with the business but we managed through it.

As others have said, there is a huge difference between 21 and 29. DH and I got together when I was 19, married 10 years later and are still going now I'm 32.
Some of it was down to working at things, but the other half was definitely luck- you can't make someone grow into the same place at at the same pace as you. A lot of young couples seem to grow apart, alongside the fact that each generation seems less mature at the same age than previous ones.

No - married at 21 and divorced at 26

and

Yes - married at 26 and it will be our 38th Anniversary in April.

There are some things that are quite different about DH now to when we met in our early 20s, but the same would definitely be said about me too.

Almost 5 years later, we got married in our mid-20s, and have celebrated more than 20 years of marriage. We are happy together, and comfortable in each others' company still, and still love the bones off each other in lots of ways. Yes we each get frustrated at times, but a lot of that is exacerbated by DD (teen, with SNs). We have a nice life, and are actively planning retirement things together. (DH can retire in about 10-15 years, I still have 20 to go).

Your 20s is a big age range, chronologically and even more so in terms of maturity. I met my wife when we were in our teens, but we were 28 and 29 when we married. We have every intention and expectation of being together for the rest of our lives.

Married 1 week after my 20th birthday - DH was just turned 19. Coming up to our 33rd Anniversary. But the world was different then.

Married at 21, pushing 50 now, still very happy.

We definitely grew together, which I think helped.

We also had plenty of time before dc to sort out any issues between us, which I think helped too.

OP what age do you think is the usual age to get married? You say you can't imagine getting maried so young, i.e. in your 20s which is pretty normal for everyone I know!

No I agree it is a usual age. Hence saying I wonder if marriages at that age tend to be seen as generally more successful. But I personally couldn't get married that young, it wasn't right for me and would have been a disaster if I'd married the bloke I was engaged to.

That does have an impact on fertility though simply because there's less time then to iron out problems if any arise.

I met my husband when we were 19. I’m 37 now and still very happily married.

I was 23, DH 28.
34 years years later, still married

I met my husband when I was 17. Married at 18. He was 23.
First child at 20/25 and now expecting our 5th. Been together almost 16 years and intend to spend the rest or my life with him. Even just now he carried me to bed am in so much pain with a slow latent phase labour. I cant live without him.

Remember majority of our grandparents all met and married in their late teens and early 20s.

I was 21 (almost 22), DH was 26. Nearly 7 years later, we've had a few bumpy patches, probably related to both of us maturing and changing and some major life upheaval, but we've worked on them, and my life would be much worse without him in it, and I think he feels the same. Overall we're very happy together. I'd like to think it'll stay that way!

Some arse of a woman once told me she thought we'd be divorced before I turned 30 because we married so young, so I've got to stick it out for at least another 2 years to prove her wrong, anyway... 😂

Married at 25 divorced at 50. We were too young

But the kind of guy that I liked wasn’t ripe when I was in my twenties

This description made me laugh sounds like a cheese that needs time to mature!

I got married at 19. DH was 22. Still married 23 years later but I accept we were lucky!

From personal experience, of friends, family and acquaintances, I'd say the divorce rate is pretty much the same for people who married in their 20's, 30's and 40's. We married in our early 30's but actually got together when I was 19 and are still going strong (I hope )

Married at 21 still married at 63 to the same man. We have definitely had our ups and downs but the thought of splitting up with two children was enough to make us work harder.