To think women have a best before date

[Meowmeow202027]

To men that is?
Talking to dh about the fact im turning 30 this year and how since getting married and having 3 kids i feel unattractive and no one cares about my opinions or even looks my way. When men have kids etc there body doesn't change. Pretty much they are the same people as before unlike women.
Sorry for the rambling.

which would be menopause (40-50) if you're referring to biological purpose?

otherwise it will be the day you die, practically speaking you physically expire

When men have kids etc there body doesn't change. Pretty much they are the same people as before
Why do you think "dadbod" is so named? Where do you think that their hair disappears to.

I don't value myself or even my looks based on the level of male attention I get. Such good things have come with getting older. The loss of being chatted up and slapped on the arse by men in bars doesn't bother me in the slightest. I'll be over my best before date when my body and/or mind start to fail and not a second before.

Sir Captain Tom Moore
Do you think he has passed his sell by date ? Look at what he has achieved
I don't want to list loads of other people

Secondly, I don't believe attractiveness is related to appearance

You can look odd & unkempt, but have huge passion & zest for life

My sell by date, will be the day I die & not one second before !

I am 48 and still get flirted with. It does depend whether you have children with you (kids are now 15 and 12 so often not with me)..there's definitely something about being a mum that means men look straight through you!! But when I'm out and about for the eve with friends, I still notice men looking at me and I don't feel invisible. I keep fit, look after myself and I still feel I have plenty to offer the world, I think it's a lot about that. I certainly feel I have years of being attractive in front of me still - I look at my cousins, who are in their 50s and still look gorgeous, better than me, and I know you can have no cut off date and if you're with a guy who says women do, then a big fat raspberry to them frankly.

Nope. Maybe if you are 80. You are only 30. That's young.

I'm 30 and really rather fat, I still get flirted with. Maybe sympathy flirts? But all of my friends are still stunning! I wouldn't worry at all

I'm not a packet of fucking sausages, so no.

43 here and still get a ton of attention.

I remember feeling like that when I was thirty. I had got over it by the time I was forty ! No absolutely not ! We do not have a BB date !

Defo not! I look better than I did 10 years ago (IMO) and I met DP a little later than your average.

Whilst arguably how I looked played a factor in our attraction, my life experience and boundaries for what was acceptable (and what was not!) were the factors that made things last. God knows age has finely honed these.

Looks are superficial anyway, in spite of me saying I feel I look better with age, what matters is the person I've become and the way in which I respond to things. Remember that is why you will make friends and lovers. Looks are only skin deep and all that!

I totally get it. Twelve years and two kids later the dog literally gets more attention than I do. I get nagged at when things are not done otherwise I feel like he wouldn't notice if I was gone. Get the remarks regarding weight etc but I can't remember the last time he had something nice to say. If it wasn't for the fact the house is in his name and the kids to think of I would just get up and go but not much you can do when you don't have the funds to leave.

I’m being really honest here.. my bbd I would say was 45. In my 50’s now and the attention is different now.. none from men whatsoever (apart from dh!) but I’m content so don’t really care. I get attention for other things.. a nice dinner party for eg

Completely disagree!! I’m 38 and look so much better than 10 years ago. I’ve had 3 kids as well, had first when I was 30. I have more money now so spend more on hair, make up and skin care. I’ve had money to pay for Invisalign so my teeth look amazing. I’ve realised how important health & fitness is and eat really well and exercise regularly. Plus I have the confidence that comes with age!

The Queen, certainly has not passed her sell by date

More female examples ?

Far too many to mention!

Let's separate out attractiveness and opinions worth listening to maybe?

Really think about the second, nothing to do with age. Age normally has the opposite effect on wisdom. Why do you really feel that OP? Is there something else in your life that needs to change/is missing? This is self esteem (NOT looks, that is a bullshit place to look for confidence) and yours could obviously do with a boost.

Oh god i wrote that after feeling rather sorry for myself. Its definitely about my self esteem as i do get told that im attractive i just dont feel that way most of the time.

@2Cats3Kids what a lovely positive message 👏

I think once you hit peri menopause you change a lot but you’re also more balanced about the vile narrative we’ve been fed all our lives that our value is determined by how attractive men find us. We feel unattractive when we don’t get the ‘looks’ we used to. It’s so sad.

I get more notice from men at 44 than I ever did in my 20s.... so disagree there.... think it’s to do with being more confident in myself ( as I’m no longer bothered about other people’s opinion of me ) and when I hit 39 realised I was dressing in a way that made me look bleurgh and feel the same.... so thought sod it and went back to how I used to dress

Bald, gristled grey beard, pot belly/beer gut, dress sense out the window - that's if they even had any, still wearing clothes that are way past their sell by date etc. That's only talking about my DH 🤣