To think women have a best before date

[Meowmeow202027]

To men that is?
Talking to dh about the fact im turning 30 this year and how since getting married and having 3 kids i feel unattractive and no one cares about my opinions or even looks my way. When men have kids etc there body doesn't change. Pretty much they are the same people as before unlike women.
Sorry for the rambling.

For those holding up The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie as some sort of inspiration...y’all do know how that ends, right?

Wrong but true of most men, unless you are planning to be President of France.

@Babykoala1 omg I actually laughed out loud! Best thing I've read today, I can relate

@time4anothername
People of both sexes enjoy being desired, liked and loved.
If a person feels invisible to the opposite sex, if no-one desires, loves or even likes them, wouldn't it affect their mental wellbeing? Unless, of course, said person has given up on ever being desired etc. again.
How a person looks affects the type of attention they get. Shallow, yes, but true. At least until the attention-givers have a chance to get to know the person in question and discover their marvellous personality.

"Whereas the men who were keeping in shape at 30, are still doing so at 40. I"

Are you living in some parallel universe where 99% of British men don't look like a bag of shite by the time they hit 40?

if you have been one of those whose facebook profile would start 'wife and mother' then that is your problem. Sounds like you need more to your life (not easy at the moment) then you'll stop worrying about the mirror.

looks are irrelevant and not an achievement.

I think it's a combination of changes in the way we look, and in the way we present ourselves. Yes we get lines and many no longer have a small waist. But how many women stop making an effort? Start wearing comfy clothes? Don't bother doing their hair and make up? Now, I'm not saying women must do their hair and make up. But if they used to in their 20s, then they stop, that is a change. Men don't do hair and make up (most at least) and continue not to. There's a constant there. I wear trousers/jeans and a fleece most days because I walk the dogs and don't want to have to change into dog walking clothes and then change back. But if I'm not doing that (say OH is, or we are away) then I will put on nicer clothes, and do something with my hair and put some make up on. I do that for myself and I enjoy it.

But I think that generally, younger girls make more of an effort on a regular basis, than their older counterparts. It may be because they have more time or are not tired from work and kids. That could be the difference.

What a load of crap.

I am nearly 50 and in my prime and my younger (by one year!) boyfriend agrees.

We all get kind of rough around the edges after 45. It's not that big a deal. But it IS if you're 30 and feeling this way. OP, the 30s should be skyrockets in flight! I think when you have little ones though, it's bloody hard work and you don't have a whole lot time for you. My advice? Don't have any more kids. You're golden with 3. It's the magic number. Get them all settled into school and get through those early childhood years. You'll feel rejuvenated once your youngest is 5 or 6 years old. You'll have more 'you' time which is vital! No point in having 4 or 5 kids unless you absolutely thrive in 'baby land'. You need to look after you too. And the 30s can be bloody amazing! I came alive in my 30s!

Bloody Hell! If you think that you are over the hill at 30 ,what hopes for the rest of us? In my 50s now and hope my appearance isnt too startling! Self Confidence is the key here surely .Many women (and men too) wouldnt win any competitions in the looks dept but attract people both as friends and would be partners.

Mid 40s and I've got to work harder to look good for sure but it's not game over yet. If you're feeling like this at 30 you maybe need to look at your lifestyle and health. Otherwise, enjoy your body and your looks, how I'd love to be 29 again.

Some are late bloomer's (male and female), look plain & geeky when young then wow later in life. Women of a certain age can attract the MILF/GILF brigade or the decrepit old pervs. There's no accounting for tastes.

Any man that thinks like that would not be someone whose opinion l care about quite frankly! Might weigh a bit more than l did in my 20's and but my ability to spot a bullshitter and user has sharpened right up - much prefer to be in this situation thank you very much!!

We had a school reunion in our early 40s, honestly looking at the pictures the women all look fab, the men they all just look like a bunch of middle aged dad's and older than the women

Definitely.

I was best before I came across this idea.

I think I'm like a fine wine, improve with age! It comes with confidence and feeling happy with yourself - also not giving a fuck what anyone else thinks. Honestly it's all in the mind, accept the things you can't change and fix the ones you can if YOU want to

I find I get a lot of attention from men when I’m slim, even at the age of 55. That was a disappointment.

Gosh. Im early 30s and never felt better, more confident, more heard, sure of myself or happy. I feel like im getting better with age! Benefit of being a horribly awkward child/teen maybe?

I'm 49.
I don't care if anyone finds me attractive or not.
My DH tells me I'm beautiful every day. Even if I have a face like a bag of arseholes.
That's enough for me

I think I looked my best between 30-35 personally.

@FunkBus

"Whereas the men who were keeping in shape at 30, are still doing so at 40. I"

Are you living in some parallel universe where 99% of British men don't look like a bag of shite by the time they hit 40?

My point is that most of them looked like 'a bag of shite' (though I think they look more like human-potato hybrids) by early 30s. The minority who still looked good in their early 30s were putting the effort in and pretty much all of that minority are still making that effort now in their 40s.

"But I think that generally, younger girls make more of an effort on a regular basis, than their older counterparts. It may be because they have more time or are not tired from work and kids. That could be the difference"

Oh the irony!

I look at my daughters skin / eyes / hair / nails every day (she is 12; I am her mum) and think - literally no "effort" / make up / fashion etc could improve on that and I think in the vast majority of cases the same can be said for most females of any age up to at least 25 years if not older

the real difference shows up "effort" wise the older you get.
nature just makes younger people attractive for biological reasons

Ah yes, but the best thing about this ‘best before’ date is that by the time you reach it, you don’t give a fig about having reached it.

:-D

I’ve had more attention from men since I was 30 than before. I think it’s down to confidence. Now in my mid 50s and still have men of all ages flirting with me occasionally.
Looks may fade but your inner up for fun girl doesn’t. It’s all in the smile!

It is really weird but I actually feel I improved after 35. I was looking at old pictures of me the other day. I looked terrible as a teenager (due to childhood abuse and drugs), hot AF between 21-24 and then a sunken eyed, sallow faced mess after. Probably something to do with living with someone who regularly fucked up my face by punching it between 24-35 and moaned if I bought food. I have really blossomed since I left, and definitely have a lot more attention from men (who I ignore tbh).

I honestly think your looks reflect the life you are living - if you are unhappy, dragged down or abused by another person or are struggling I think it shows. If you are lucky and life is going well, I think that shows too.