To think women have a best before date

[Meowmeow202027]

To men that is?
Talking to dh about the fact im turning 30 this year and how since getting married and having 3 kids i feel unattractive and no one cares about my opinions or even looks my way. When men have kids etc there body doesn't change. Pretty much they are the same people as before unlike women.
Sorry for the rambling.

Very lighthearted but my DH always says as we age women get ropey and men get distinguished. I always bat him round the head when he says it.

However, I do get your point op. Morherhood does take its tole more easily on women than fatherhood usually does on men. Not that it has to, there are many examples of women it hasn't happened to.

I also think genes play a large part. My brother and his wife are same age, both went part time when they had kids yet DB is balding and has to work hard to keep his weight down and does look a lot older than my sil. She doesn't look that much older than when they married 11 years ago.

If we do, I haven't got there yet.

Big fat NOPE! I'm 46 and look great I still get plenty of attention from guys, nothing has changed since my twenties. In fact I look better now than I did then, 90's style was not the most flattering Looking back at photos I was too skinny, til I allowed myself to put weight on I didn't realise I had an hourglass figure, curvy backsides were not as popular back then either, it was all about the Kylie bum, not being as 'angular' as I was in my 20s/30s really suits me

I think late 40s and you are pretty invisible compared to how you were perceived in twenties and thirties. But you can still be more attractive in your late forties than many twenty year olds but you will never look as good as you did at that age. It depends on your starting point of attractiveness I guess

I suppose so, but I don't think it's a big thing.

I used to be a prostitute in my 20s. I was surprised at first that the older women do still get quite a lot of custom.

I'm 46 and I look good, feel good and can wear what I want. Don't forget, women can also lose interest in men who don't take care of themselves too! And that accounts for about 98% of men my age - most are overweight and unattractive and have 'let themselves go'. I rarely see an attractive man my age. Except for my bf of course who hasn't 'let himself go' at all and is what a pp referred to as 'distinguished', which if I were translating would mean lean and muscular, well dressed and with salt and pepper hair!

When I read your OP I took it to mean "is there an age at which a woman is done putting up with men's shit?"

Yes. I believe so.

As for women having a best before date, nah.

30 !!!

You're having a laugh OP

I'm 44 single & work in a hospital... got three younger men interested in me at present! Quite happy with that situation especially as I'm er, curvier than I'd like to be!

I just need to get more confidence in what I have to offer a partner; as I can't have children so I can't offer a man a family life; I have 2 chronic health problems which aren't immediately obvious that do impact on my life.
I feel a bit depressed with life at present.

But none of this is to do with my age.
I feel more comfortable with my looks and dress better than when I was 30.
My hair looks better too, especially as it's grown back thicker after hair loss at 37.

I'm more assertive & confident as a person and I think that's attractive to men too.

OP turning 30 is hard. I found it worse than turning 40 or 21. It felt like a point where I should have achieved more than I had and I got pretty upset about it.
I'm now 47 and in much better physical shape than my early 30s. I exercise, have money to buy nice things, and I am much more confident and less worried about what people think. This means I now don't give two figs if I'm chatted up or attractive to men, I'm more concerned if I'm happy with myself.
Relax, your best years may well be ahead not behind you!

I think both men and women have best before dates but 30. Not for me.

Not at all, well, certainly not at 30! I was just getting started, having spent my teens and a lot of my 20s feeling very self conscious about my appearance. I'd say I hit my peak mid thirties...had kids at 35 and 38. Even in my late thirties I was getting chatted up! I don't go out anymore (even pre pandemic nights out were a rare occasion) but I think I am starting to become more invisible (I'm 41). Lockdown has impacted on how I feel about my appearance, I make less effort to get dressed up although still bother with make up. I'm not bothered really, I feel I've had my time and I still feel generally attractive. As long as my DH agrees then I'm fine with it!

But c'mon OP...don't give up on yourself at 30! You're still a young 'un!

God, no. Older women on the whole look far, far better than older men, all things being equal in terms of general grooming and clothes. 30 is very young and doesn't count as older by any means.

I think the idea of a best before date for women is most unpleasant, and not true.

However if you feel it is true for you, then it's up to you to do something about it, other than complain.

Meh, I’m 23 and since having ds I’ve definitely reached my expiry date. It’s a good thing I no longe care.

Well. For me I have to say 45 yo woman with kids will find it harder than a man to feel sexually attractive. If that is what you mean by use by date. However I still feel good and confident as a person, friend, mum, etc. I'd say for a man they have 5 years ahead so about 50 is the oldest I'd find a man physically attractive...

But 30, that's prime time! Enjoy it!

It's cultural.

Biologically, women stay alive and are kept on by the planet after they have passed their breeding role (post menopause). Men aren't. Therefore we are more important and valuable than men for many other things. It's a shame culture has been hijacked in the other direction. Jealousy no doubt ().

No. This is the patriarchy talking. Don’t listen to it.

The moment you give up on yourself you will get the dreaded time-stamp.
All people go through difficult periods in their lives when their looks are the last thing to worry about. However, whether they pick up the bedraggled pieces, dust themselves off and shine again determines whether best-before date has been reached.

Perhaps some men will think that. Some men won’t. Some you won’t be able to persuade and some you don’t have to.
I think the important swing sits with those who will take the cue from you: if you think that your opinion matters then it will come across as such

Woman has lost her looks.
So her opinions are not worth listening to.

If that's not a non sequitur, I don't know what is!

Did your husband say anything to dispel your idea of being unattractive at 30?

I think it varies, I still looked very attractive in my late 40’s but 2 years later I don’t. I hope I can get some of it back. I’ve had a few ops on my legs that have left scars, put on some weight and just generally not made much effort with my appearance due to lockdown. I think I’m definitely past my sell by date.

Biologically, women stay alive and are kept on by the planet after they have passed their breeding role (post menopause). Men aren't. Therefore we are more important and valuable than men for many other things. It's a shame culture has been hijacked in the other direction. Jealousy no doubt (smile).

What??

I’m not sure what your difficulty was, and it was supposed to be semi-amusing (I put a smiley face and everything ). A 30 year old doesn’t need to worry about ageing just yet.

www.sciencealert.com/beluga-whales-and-narwhals-go-through-menopause-new-study-finds