Group on FB

[UnshakenNeedsStirring]

So I joined a group of women on FB. To support each other during lockdown and generally have a chat and a nice time online. Ater a week or so the admin changed a photo of the group to one with 5 women holding hands, the pic was taken from back, so no faces. IT was a painting or so from 50's I think or could've been done in retro style. I pointed out that the picture was not inclusive as it was only showing white women and didn't have other women of colour or ethnic minorities. I got a lot of abuse back. Was I wrong? I am a bit shocked and disheartened that in 2021 I had to raise this and no one really was bothered and nearly all the women asked me to shut up and not talk about it

You can just unjoin the group
When you say all inclusive did someone suggest a picture that also included an asian person , or chinese etc.

@HebeMumsnet thank you!

@roarfeckingroarr Glad that you dont care, no need to comment then, scroll past. I CARE!

@roarfeckingroarr

I care.

@donewithitalltodayandxmas I did, but voiced my opinion first. Someone had to

Op was the alternative pictures inclusive of several ethnicities though ?

@Lavanderrose thanks

@donewithitalltodayandxmas yes the alternatives were a good snapshot of multi ethnic society, however they were not considered. Some one who's on the group has commented above that the photo has been reinstated. Sigh

If several people suggested alternate picture were they fully inclusive compared to the first ?

OP you did the right thing with the photo, but I think you have come across on here at times a bit harsh unnecessarily.

The FB group pic scenario is irritating and the MN response here is disappointing but not surprising. We have to remember that sometimes people are quick enough to tell others what they should/shouldn't get upset about but it's usually because they don't understand or are impacted by the issue, it doesn't affect them the same way.

Well then all I can say is just be glad you have left the group .

@pinkstripeycat thats your opinion, Im glad casual racism doesn't bother you

@WetPaint4 Asking for a group photo to be inclusive wasnt wrong imo. Im glad I left but I am very disappointed with some of the views

@WetPaint4 I don't think she's across as harsh at all. I think all the people who said she's been unreasonable and then argued this very point are far more of a worry.

@Jj2431 Get out a bit more snowflake..or is that a racist thing to say as well now?

Im not a snowflake, so stop calling me that. Take your hatred elsewhere

Said the very angry 'it's not all about me' person..called you person there just in case she is offensive

@MargotMoon

Fucking hell OP, I think the responses to this post demonstrate quite neatly the point you are making. What a pile-on. Good for you for saying something, not that you should have had to, representation is not that difficult

This.

Have I accidentally wandered into the DM comments section?!

Of the first nine responses to the op, eight were rude. Why is she the one being told she has a bad attitude?

Some of these responses are bordering on hateful. I take AIBU as a whole with a pinch of salt as I know people come on here for a bunfight but I'm honestly quite shocked by this thread.

It’s so depressing that a reasonable request - “Can the photo be a bit more inclusive please?” - is met with a dramatic throwing up of hands, eye-rolling, “Oh you can’t say ANYTHING nowadays!”, “There’s a PANDEMIC on you know?!”, “they are volunteers! Should they scour the Internet for a photo that includes EVERYONE?!” reaction.

Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. Of course a picture cannot include every single iteration of humanity but the attitude of, “Welp, it’ll just have to be all white again then,” is a cop out.

I voted YABU as a knee jerk reaction, it’s a fb group, what does it matter, etc. But actually taking some thought about it, yes it does matter! The point about if it was a picture of 5 black women made me think, and yes I probably would think the group wasn’t really aimed at me, so I can completely see where you’re coming from. It really would have been easy to have a more inclusive picture. Sorry for my yabu vote!

@Ihatefish

People hate virtue signallers - everyone in the group now thinks of you as a woke idiot. One thing to stand up for injustice, another to use the exploitation of minorities to signal your own perception that you are morally superior.

How do you get that OP was exploiting minorities to signal her moral superiority? How?

She didn’t say, “Oo, you’re all terrible racists in this group for posting that photo! I’m triggered and offended on behalf of my BAME sisters and you should all be ashamed!!”

She asked if the photo could be more diverse to reflect the membership of the group.

It’s interesting how many people think that if something can’t represent everybody it shouldn’t have to make any effort to represent more than one group. There seems to be a view that because you probably couldn’t find a photo representing all demographics (Eg: black, Asian, trans? Disabled, hijab-wearing, disabled have all been mentioned) it’s fine to ‘default’ to showing a group of white women. You can’t include everyone so why even try to show a diverse group. This ignores the fact that even if your particular demographic isn’t represented surely a photo showing a diverse group of women will make anybody who falls outside of ‘white woman’ feel more included than one which only represents white women?

It’s unlikely a political party or board of directors for example can literally represent every single demographic of society, but does that mean we should all be fine with it in situations where such bodies are made up entirely of white men? Obviously you can’t ensure everybody is always represented in everything but it should be possible to ensure that there is a mix of demographics represented. In this instance it sounds like there wasn’t a mix at all, it was literally only showing a single demographic (white woman) despite being a diverse and inclusive group. I honestly don’t understand how people can’t see a problem with that and I imagine if the situation were different so that, for example, only men were used in an image for a mixed-gender group some of the posters saying the OP is being dramatic would recognise the problem with not including any women in the image.

Yes I agree with you there, very disappointing.

Often, people of a majority group have the privilege of dismissing the minorities with a "you need to get over it", or "you're making drama" or calling them "snowflake" when the awkward question is asked because they genuinely hadn't thought about it and don't like to feel uncomfortable. But at least you asked, in this instance.