To do a not-so-humble-brag about new DP?

[Jackblackcat]

Ok bit of a trick question because I suppose this is more about me than him, but today marks one year since I finally kicked my abusive husband out. It took a lot for me to recognise the abuse (very rarely physical), but I did and it took everything I had to end the relationship and become a single mum.

I have done so much work on myself over the past twelve months. I did the freedom programme, I got a promotion at work, I dated and had plenty of casual (safe!) sex too, until I could figure out exactly what I was looking for.

I'm now in the very early stages of a new relationship with a lovely man, and have just moved into my new home which I have bought by myself. He helped me to move in, and over the past few days has shown me exactly what a healthy relationship looks like. He has gone above and beyond and I am so grateful for it, but the thing that really brought it home was building the flat pack furniture together. Because unlike my ex, who would be telling me I was getting it all wrong, and be swearing and getting aggressive if he couldn't make sense of the instructions, my new DP was laughing at how he kept getting parts of it the wrong way round and kept saying "at least you know what you're doing babe!".

He has been so fucking supportive of everything I am doing, and I had a little tear in my eye after he left last night (he wanted to go before my DS got back from his dads because "this is your moment, yours and his, it's important it's just the two of you this evening") because of how great he has been.

I'm still being cautious and staying alert for any red flags that might emerge, but I am so happy right now!

(Also before anyone picks up on it, yes he has met my DS, he was introduced to him as a friend of mine who was helping us move because he is my support bubble and the only person i had to help me lift the bug heavy furniture, so they met briefly for about an hour).

Or you form a bubble with another household if you live alone.

At no point since February has it been advisable to carry on having a social life/casual sex life like nothing was happening.

@FuriousWithTheNHS I feel really sorry for you if you dont think that married women can make close male friends. We met through a hobby, he was my friend not my DHs. Part of a circle of friends who also havent met my son.

As I remember you could meet up to 5 outside distancing by 1m or two households could meet inside (Still distancing) . I don’t think op was restricting herself to two household bubbles somehow or any kind of distancing

And whoever it was who went through OP’s previous posts to drag the figures about casual sex out to try and shame the OP... what disgusting behaviour on your part

This is relevant. Always thought it was considered quite poor form on MN to go through someone's previous posts and use it against them, but apparently it's fine if it's to shame a woman about sex.

Also, fuck knows where people have got the idea from that I was in another relationship in september? I mentioned on a completely different thread that my current support bubble is different to my September bubble (which was originally against the rules but no longer is, because the rules change all the time). Never said I was in a relationship with my September bubble - somebody had better tell her DH and kids we were in one!

I didn't say they couldn't, I just wonder how often it happens and under what conditions, that's all. I mean to call a male friend a 'close' friend when it's someone you've met recently, completely independently of your spouse is pretty unusual, and let's face it, quite often the beginning of an affair.

Maybe your idea of a 'close' friend and mine are two different things, but all my close friends know my husband, come to my house, know my kids etc.

@FuriousWithTheNHS my ex and I did not socialise together, ever, for the last 2 years of our marriage. In that time he did no see a single friend or family member of mine, at all. Some of that was down to his working pattern, the rest because we were living very separate lives.

When I was with my DS, I socialised with my friends who had young children his age. I would go out one evening a week with the group of friends I made from my hobby after our practice. We became close but nowhere near even an emotional affair, in fact I didnt fancy him in the slightest when we met. I also have close female friends that my ex and child hasnt met.

That is the loveliest thing I have read in a while. Toasting your happiness with

@Jackblackcat I already responded if you care to read and it was not about sex it was about blatant disregard for a pandemic . I don’t remember any rule on mumsnet about remembering another post you made or reading another thread you wrote . If you make things public then they will be read/remembered.

I’m delighted for you, @Jackblackcat!

It’s lovely to read a happy story, and I wish you joy in your new home.

@upsidedownwavylegs dont take it then, the only advice i gave was to celebrate happiness - not be judgmental and try to be supportive

the rest of which i typed was an opinion which i have said we are all entitled to have -

no ones in any trouble we are all just living and learning !

Any way , I don’t want to spend my Sunday responding on here anymore . I got dragged back in by the other poster. Good luck with the new guy but keep on the defence and don’t be lulled into a false sense of security . It’s great you knew him as a friend of some sort and that’s a great basis , but keep your guard up for a while , just in case - for you and your ds. Best of luck in the future x

Brilliant, good luck you deserve happiness

Also, fuck knows where people have got the idea from that I was in another relationship in september? I mentioned on a completely different thread that my current support bubble is different to my September bubble

Apologies, I read it as you were in a bubble with a different bloke in September.

@SparklyPixie as i said if you have reservations or concerns regarding the womans lifestyle offer gentle advice or support

all im asking of people who do not agree with the life choices is to guide not shame and that is very much what is going on here

i think that anyone having a go at this point is slipping into the mindset of being right - and there is no right or wrong

and as for the child being dragged from bit to bit im sorry

the mother was in an abusive relationship and the only dragging i can see is the child being dragged away from a dangerous situation within an abusive relationship

with regards to the dating days unless the child was present a woman is as i said entitled to do what she pleases with her free time

and as for new partner - they ar buikding ikea furnture the last time i checked the only detrimental effect to building furniture on a child would be learning a new skill

i do agree the woman comes first and her hapiness should come from within

but jeezo lady just got a bit happy at finding someone who treated her nice to the point she think someone helping her is a big deal

lots of spoiled princesses on her me thinks that husbands treat them regular - (while eying up the strictly dancers) who dont know what its like to be treated so badly that they think they are being spoiled because someone showed them care time and repect !

@Whatisthisfuckery sound non judgemntal advice !! and great explanations and guidance while agreeing a woman has a right !

but bravo for delving into the REASONS and BEHAVIOURS of woman who need validation

im still down with the womans right to choose her own path and delightd she is tentavily trying something which makes her happy for now and if ir dosent work out - vibrators at the ready and the bonus of a nice man doing something nice for her !]

but also hope that of this is the one then it all works out xx

@FuriousWithTheNHS

Also, fuck knows where people have got the idea from that I was in another relationship in september? I mentioned on a completely different thread that my current support bubble is different to my September bubble

Apologies, I read it as you were in a bubble with a different bloke in September.

She was

@Goatscheesewithhoney - Spiteful? The posting history was public.
You’re more concerned that I’ve mentioned that, than someone who admits to sleeping around during a pandemic and breaking the rules, that says more about you than me.
But hey off course it doesn’t matter because OP had a great time shagging and met a ‘fantastic’ guy, so we should all shut up and be supportive
The rules apply to everyone, people have lost jobs, businesses, loved ones through the wreck less behaviour of people like the OP!

Reckless.

@Lady089

So you’ve either had close physical contact with 25 people during the pandemic and then gone home to your child and potentially infected them, or had these people in your child’s home. Bloody stupid.

@LunchBoxPolice you could change your name to CovidPolice. It's more fitting.

Op have fun :)

How did you manage to find, and shag, 25 different people in a couple of weeks, during a pandemic, while single parent to a small child, all without those people ever coming to your house?

You're lying about something one way or another and expecting applause. Totally fucked up.

Has the whole pandemic thing totally passed you by?

How did you manage to find, and shag, 25 different people in a couple of weeks, during a pandemic, while single parent to a small child, all without those people ever coming to your house?

I was wondering the same thing....

Because apparently the ex is difficult about having the child for extra time and let's be honest, 25 different blokes over a period of a few weeks is rather a lot of nights out....even allowing for threesomes.

The nest thing we will hear is :

'My DS is a really good sleeper who NEVER wakes up and they were all gone before morning.'

Let me tell you as someone who, as a child, has been there, your children don't sleep as deeply as you think.