Am I just really... lazy?

[HensInTheSkirtingBoard]

OK, so obviously it's lockdown so we're not really going anywhere or doing anything. And I have older teen dc who are self-sufficient. And it's winter so it's cold and dark and meh.

But all the same, I can't shake the feeling that I am just becoming a bit of a lazy slob!

I WFH in a fairly full-on job, but at the weekends DH and I spend a lot of time on the sofa, doing pretty much fuck all. I read, knit, MN, doom-scroll Twitter, watch box-sets or films eat chocolate. I do a bit of yoga most days but sometimes that's not much more than just 15 minutes breathing slowly

Either DH or I cook every evening and we go for a long walk every weekend and I do a bit of vague cleaning / tidying but apart from that...not much. And during the warmer months we did more or less the same but just outside and with a bit of herb-growing thrown in.

And I'm not sure whether I'm ok with this, or not, really? I'm not bored, exactly, but it does feel a bit as if I'm wasting time when I could (should?) be doing...more? I can't get over the idea that everyone else is busy and productive and Doing Stuff all the time and I'm just sat on my arse under a blanket all day.

And yes, I know some people are working ridiculous hours and juggling childcare and home-schooling and barely have time to think - I'm not trying to be insensitive to that. But I can't be the only one stapled to the sofa and feeling odd about it, can I?

It's an emergency situation. Just surviving is fine IMO

I mean, what else could you be doing? It's not like there's lots of options open to you

I work and it’s exhausting mentally & emotionally
When I’m home I stream,faff online,dvd with the kids and batch cook
I’m very observant of the rules,I limit going out. There’s nowt else to do

Anyone who says get fit, learn a new language etc. That's not how the human brain works. Under stress it's very difficult to do anything constructive

Today I've cleaned the house, sat on mn, played with the DCs for a short time, watched a film with them, poured a vodka and tonic. I'm winning. Everybody fed, nobody dead.

Yeah we are being very observant of the rules. I basically don't leave the house during the week.

Work can be emotionally tiring.

I dunno really, I just feel as if I'm being a slob. Like I should have all the windows sparkling or something!

It’s expedient to conserve mental & physical energy in a crisis
I also use Headspace app and the apps for meditation they have really helped
Try eat well and use sleep casts at bedtime

Love the username!! And same feeling here I have a long list in my head but have no motivation. Also added to it is the feeling that I used to tell myself ‘oh I’ll lose weight, get fit, learn to sew, learn a language when I have the TIME’ and here I have nothing but time and do nothing whatsoever

Though my cooking has improved and has become an enjoyable daily ritual (glass of wine, music etc)

Your routine sounds great to me

I've been the same. Had a few A/L days from work and have done very little, although have been out each day for a walk. I take comfort knowing that currently being a slob on the couch makes me as responsible citizen.

IME the more you do the more energy you have. When my life is packed with things to do I get the energy for socialising to work hard, from work to exercise, from exercising to learn new things, from learning new things to clean the house, from cleaning the house to socialise, etc. It's like they all support each other. How is sitting on my bum all morning going to energise me to do something fantastic in the afternoon? It's not, and doesn't. I find not being able to switch off exhausting. A lot of the time I'm just browsing the news or mumsnet finding out what I can do the next day, whilst keeping an eye on my kids while they stare at the TV. But I'm on guard all the time. I rarely find moments of true relaxation, fun, joy, excitement, exhilaration, anticipation, wonder, etc. I don't get into a flow of productivity or creativity. I've stopped having "Eureka!" Moments. It's just a grey tepid sludge life. But I'm stressed and burnt out from being on 'pause' all the time. Being on standby uses nearly as much energy as being on, IYSWIM. And I'm never off. I like to live life in 'full.' Fully awake, fully asleep, fully inspired, fully at peace, fully at work, fully st rest. This is like being in purgatory. I can't wait for the world to switch back to 'full power' mode.

also everything I could be doing is self motivated, and that's not a good driving factor for me. I'm driven better by external factors. Left to my own devices I'm lazy and a procrastinator. I like working with others, with people. I do a social job for that reason (that I'm now doing but remotely and zoom is fucking stressful too!)

Not everyone is self motivated, and in normal times that's ok.

I'm busier in the sense of having responsibilities you described (single parent, one is pre school age, working from home, home school for primary one) but when I get free time I do lazy stuff. I am learning a language but that's only a bit here and there. Also yoga like you, normally a short session. I normally read books, scroll about online, watch a film maybe, and I like painting. What the hell are we meant to do? I've got COVID at the moment so I've been in the house for nearly two weeks until today when I dropped my son to his dad (who also has COVID).

Can't wait to get out and do more when things are better again. Normally I love going for meals and drinks.

18.30 and I'm still in my dressing gown ...

@Bluesmartiesandpandapop

IME the more you do the more energy you have. When my life is packed with things to do I get the energy for socialising to work hard, from work to exercise, from exercising to learn new things, from learning new things to clean the house, from cleaning the house to socialise, etc. It's like they all support each other. How is sitting on my bum all morning going to energise me to do something fantastic in the afternoon? It's not, and doesn't. I find not being able to switch off exhausting. A lot of the time I'm just browsing the news or mumsnet finding out what I can do the next day, whilst keeping an eye on my kids while they stare at the TV. But I'm on guard all the time. I rarely find moments of true relaxation, fun, joy, excitement, exhilaration, anticipation, wonder, etc. I don't get into a flow of productivity or creativity. I've stopped having "Eureka!" Moments. It's just a grey tepid sludge life. But I'm stressed and burnt out from being on 'pause' all the time. Being on standby uses nearly as much energy as being on, IYSWIM. And I'm never off. I like to live life in 'full.' Fully awake, fully asleep, fully inspired, fully at peace, fully at work, fully st rest. This is like being in purgatory. I can't wait for the world to switch back to 'full power' mode.

I know what you mean, I've lost some of my usual sparkle. I'm normally vivacious but it's hard to be lively in the house all the time. Sometimes I find myself singing and dancing and am glad I've not gone into a depression.

I've been feeling the same today. Tired from a stressful week working in front of a computer screen and just feeling very meh. My plans of a long walk and getting stuff done in the house have fallen by the wayside. Instead I'm under my electric blanket, mumsnetting and drinking wine

@Maunderingdrunkenly, exactly - all the time in the world and doing sweet FA with it!

I like the idea that this responsible citizenship though

I do agree that energy breeds energy. I worry I'll not snap out of it when the time does finally come. I'll just stay glued to the sofa, because it's easy...

God it sounds heavenly.

Did actually give up drinking last year. Maybe I need to start again

Wfh is ruining my daily steps!! It’s hardly any effort from bed to shower to desk for the day and it’s making me feel lazy. I have two young kids but definitely not as active as I once was. I’m trying to get out for a walk at lunch which has made me feel better

Well my habits sound similar to yours and I hadn't thought that I was slobbing out until you mentioned it

Well my life is mental (WFH full time, have DD who is 4, single parent and doing a Masters) but that's not the point. The point is, are YOU happy? Is you are then fuck it! Happy flowers for you if you are

I'm so stressed I actually cannot sit still so am envious!

Sounds lovely btw x

@Bluewavescrashing

It's an emergency situation. Just surviving is fine IMO

Totally agree with this.

Your post gives me hope - I miss that kind of relaxed weekend a lot with a 4 year old and part of me can’t wait for self sufficiency so I can chill. Enjoy it.