Am I just really... lazy?

[HensInTheSkirtingBoard]

OK, so obviously it's lockdown so we're not really going anywhere or doing anything. And I have older teen dc who are self-sufficient. And it's winter so it's cold and dark and meh.

But all the same, I can't shake the feeling that I am just becoming a bit of a lazy slob!

I WFH in a fairly full-on job, but at the weekends DH and I spend a lot of time on the sofa, doing pretty much fuck all. I read, knit, MN, doom-scroll Twitter, watch box-sets or films eat chocolate. I do a bit of yoga most days but sometimes that's not much more than just 15 minutes breathing slowly

Either DH or I cook every evening and we go for a long walk every weekend and I do a bit of vague cleaning / tidying but apart from that...not much. And during the warmer months we did more or less the same but just outside and with a bit of herb-growing thrown in.

And I'm not sure whether I'm ok with this, or not, really? I'm not bored, exactly, but it does feel a bit as if I'm wasting time when I could (should?) be doing...more? I can't get over the idea that everyone else is busy and productive and Doing Stuff all the time and I'm just sat on my arse under a blanket all day.

And yes, I know some people are working ridiculous hours and juggling childcare and home-schooling and barely have time to think - I'm not trying to be insensitive to that. But I can't be the only one stapled to the sofa and feeling odd about it, can I?

Sounds idyllic op. You’ve got it sussed.

I'm lying on the sofa, under a blanket, watching Netflix, with my dog, and haven't seen another human properly since Monday. I think we're doing fine :D

I’m exactly the same. DH is doing so much better..he walks for at least 1.5 hours a day. But I hate walking and I love my sofa! I just tell myself I will make up for it some time.

I'm the opposite - I'm having a major extension put on my house, I'm writing a book and I changed my exercise from an ad-hoc routine to a planned routine that I'm tracking weekly. That's alongside running my own business and homeschooling two primary-aged children.

It turns out that my anger about lockdown is very very good for my productivity!

I've managed to declutter the house (sort of). My God, that effort will keep me going for years.

I have retired to the couch and expect to be there for the foreseeable, guilt-free. Your routine sounds sensible to me, @HensInTheSkirtingBoard. You are conserving energy in a moment of ongoing crisis.

OP, I feel the same. First lock down, we home schooled a 5 and 8 year old, husband a key worker, I have a intense job, long hours, worrying about parents 100s mile away.

And I felt guilty for not getting faster at running, not losing a stone, not taking all the opportunities to..... etc etc

I've been trying to unpack this so I don't make the same mistakes twice. I'm going to screenshot wildraisin's post.... in the autumn I thought I'd come to terms with it, and now we've gone back in I'm slipping into those mindsets again. I need to convince myself that surviving this is enough, be kind to myself etc. I've always been very aspirational (not for money but career, improvement etc.). Normally we don't spend much time at home so I think I'm viewing this as missing an opportunity.

Oh this is the thread for me

No energy no motivation no sign of getting any

Bored bored bored even of tv. Got a pretty full on wfh job and studying but meh. Everything is ok and I’m not depressed but I could spend all day in pjs sleeping. If there was somewhere to go I would and I would love it...but there isn’t.

Not helping matters by not looking after myself well though to be honest. Drinking a little more than I should, diet questionable, exercise zero.

I'm the same. Spend %90 of the weekend horizontal.

Currently laying down on the sofa after stuffing my face with kebab watching a film. Tomorrow will be much the same, we don't have any kids to run around after so spend the home weekend eating/watching tv/playing video games

I love it!

I know what you mean. I did a lot of cleaning and tidying before Christmas but considering nobody ever comes round, even that seems less worthwhile. I can't go for long walks because I'm disabled . I seem to spend a lot of my time on MN which is definitely not very productive.

Are you happy OP?

If yes - crack on

Me too OP, I do work full time in the NHS but at home I've become a lazy pig. Never out of pyjamas, the house is a tip, I haven't finished the decorating, it's all half done nor have I been out for a walk in months.
I've been eating junk non stop - that God I am teetotal or I think I'd be a drunk as well.
Today I went to the supermarket and replaced all the junk with healthy food and the resolve to go for a fast walk every day.

I'm exactly the same

I find I am just sleeping more and more. I fall asleep after dinner - around 9 pm - go to bed at 11ish and sleep on and off until 7.30 next morning. Still don't want to get up - no reason to!

What you’re doing sounds fine- you say you have older children, work full time, knit, read, go for long country walks and you and DH cook decent meals.

What more is there? You need to rest on weekends, even if you WFH. Also, we’re in a pandemic, so you can’t go anywhere anyway. You knit, which is a great skill and more than I’m doing. Cut yourself some slack.

I WFH 4 days a week, have a toddler in nursery then am with him on Friday’s. Weekends we do a long walk each day, play with DS, cook good meals and just about clean and tidy the house. I’m not doing anything else at the moment.

It’s January, I’ve got a cold, it’s dark and miserable and we’re trying not to catch a potentially fatal virus. That is more than enough for anyone.

Leave picking up a new hobby for when all this is over.

@HensInTheSkirtingBoard you're perfectly normal. My job is full on, long hours, mentally draining and when I'm not doing it I do nothing. Sometimes I don't even have the energy to read - or MN.

It's also the stress of living in this pandemic - it's exhausting and has gone on for a long time, and this wave has the potential to be worse than last year.....

I'd say just carry on doing what you're doing. It's ok to take it easy and ok to not have a long list of things that you should be achieving.

Work is draining. Best thing I ever did was give myself permission to be lazy at the weekend. Sometimes I’ll say to dh “my plan for today is to sit here and drink at least 2 coffees and then I’ll consider getting dressed but I might read in my pjs instead”. We have a dog and 3dc agreed 9-13 so we do go out every afternoon for a walk but dc sort themselves out brilliantly most weekend mornings.

Same here. We’ve been out for a walk today actually and I’ve got some chores to do tomorrow but I opened the Prosecco at 6.30pm. Not much else to do.

Well I start work at about 8.15 and finish at about 6.15. Trying to have a morning walk round the block first and a 30 min walk in daylight.

Had a 45 min walk today and passed off it was only 5500 steps!

Watching Shrek with dd (22). Just put another log on the fire. DH wants an opera night every Sunday which we've done a few times and will make more regular!

DC at home this term.

Will work tomorrow pm. Work is intense. DC need jollying (22 and 26 and both a bit pissed off about uni - one in 3rd Yr; one doing phd).

As I keep saying, this will pass, the days will soon be longer and hopefully in 5 or 6 weeks the old and vulnerable will be vaccinated and we can put in behind us.

I have to try to get out of my pyjamas ! Made redundant September - can’t motivate myself to do anything! Day in and day out four walls! Do go out to get some food shopping though! I want to go to work!

@Bluewavescrashing I love that saying. I'm stealing it!

My DH is a ‘busy’ person, it is really hard to be around right now. I hate it at weekends when he is constantly doing and all I want to do is what you have posted. I feel so much better reading this and that I can have down time without guilt. Tomorrow I will sit!

One thing I've done every single day since 16th March is to shower, do my hair and make-up, wear usual work clothes to keep a mental and physical routine. I simply can't work in slippers (psychological I guess) but I bought myself a pair of black leather clogs and they are a great half way house.

I know what you mean and you could be describing me.

I wfh full time in quite a demanding job and I’m juggling home schooling DS. I do all the cooking and housework etc but I’m shattered by the weekend. We usually go out for a walk on of the days but I spend a LOT of time on the sofa.

I cooked a full English for everyone this morning and washed up. Brought the bins in. Cleaned out the fish tank, cats litter tray and fed said creatures and I’ve banged a load of washing on but that’s it’s. Other than that I’ve had a bath, watched a film with DS and been on the internet.

I DO feel lazy but what else is there to do? If it was Spring maybe we’d have a bit more zip but...it’s cold, we are in lock down and it’s dark by 5pm.

Ha! You do more than me and we're in a very similar situation to you!

@wildraisins

And I'm not sure whether I'm ok with this, or not, really?

I think this is the key part of your post, OP.

Doesn't really matter what you're doing but whether you're OK with it... sounds like you're not and you are not really feeling fulfilled.

I wonder if you need to do more, or if you just need to find acceptance?

@wildraisins, I think you make really good points, thank you. I'm not unhappy - sitting on the sofa with DH is a nice thing but I do worry that I'm just wasting time.

I think I've always enjoyed 'downtime' - I don't think of myself as someone who needs to be busy all the time - but this is something else. It just seems endless and I'm sluggish and just a bit worried that I'm slumping into permanent unwashed-hair-and-yoga-pants mode. Which isn't awful, obviously, but maybe I need to rethink things a little.

I'm really relieved to know there are so many of us though!