Am I just really... lazy?

[HensInTheSkirtingBoard]

OK, so obviously it's lockdown so we're not really going anywhere or doing anything. And I have older teen dc who are self-sufficient. And it's winter so it's cold and dark and meh.

But all the same, I can't shake the feeling that I am just becoming a bit of a lazy slob!

I WFH in a fairly full-on job, but at the weekends DH and I spend a lot of time on the sofa, doing pretty much fuck all. I read, knit, MN, doom-scroll Twitter, watch box-sets or films eat chocolate. I do a bit of yoga most days but sometimes that's not much more than just 15 minutes breathing slowly

Either DH or I cook every evening and we go for a long walk every weekend and I do a bit of vague cleaning / tidying but apart from that...not much. And during the warmer months we did more or less the same but just outside and with a bit of herb-growing thrown in.

And I'm not sure whether I'm ok with this, or not, really? I'm not bored, exactly, but it does feel a bit as if I'm wasting time when I could (should?) be doing...more? I can't get over the idea that everyone else is busy and productive and Doing Stuff all the time and I'm just sat on my arse under a blanket all day.

And yes, I know some people are working ridiculous hours and juggling childcare and home-schooling and barely have time to think - I'm not trying to be insensitive to that. But I can't be the only one stapled to the sofa and feeling odd about it, can I?

I just love sitting and sitting however perhaps you should commit to doing 3 things before you hit that couch eg tidy clothing cupboard even one shelf, 15 min yoga stretching, make lasagne (even to freeze) then hit that couch and let the piles of tea and books and websites pile up. You’ll feel you’ve earned it more, the day won’t seem a waste and you won’t look back and think you just wasted the time. 3 things you need to do before 1 thing you want to do (book atomic habits which is excellent). So make a list of 20 things you’d like at the end of the month look back and be glad you’ve done and then as I said to get under that blanket you have to have ticked some off. Even if you do work from home and it’s hectic that obviously doesn’t make you feel that that warrants you sitting around. It also wards off depression or depressive thoughts as slumping and soothing around can make us feel so negative.

I don't think you sound lazy at all. I think majority of people "slow down" at this time of year

ATM I am not going a lot, walking dog once a day and DH does later walk. I get up late as dc homeschooling from 9.30- 10.15 and then 10.45-11.30. set he in afternoon. I get up for 8.0am feed cats and quick walk for dogs then cook dc a nice breakfast. Make sure he has his school stuff, a drink, and watch he logs himself on to Teams for 9.25 ready to start on time. Then I feed the dogs and let them into garden for 20 mins. Make myself a whole potful of tea. Get dogs in, wipe them down. Drink more tea whilst reading online newspaper. Son finished first line session. Check he understands what work he has been set. He has a 25 mins break. Then log him back on for second session. Let cleaner in and ask her to start upstairs whilst ds home learning. Get on load of washing. Load up breakfast fishes into dishwasher. Read more news paper. Son finished online lesson. Check he understands his hw tasks for afternoon. Make another pot of tea. Chat to sister on phone for 30 mins. Move child and myself to bedroom so cleaner can clean lounge, fining room and kitchen. Take DH up coffee as he is wfh. I do a bit of crochet in bedroom. After 3 hours cleaner goes. I let child out of his room and get him a drink. He gets on with his work on computer. He asks if he gets stuck. I go and make a quick lunch eg toasties. DH and I eat ours together sometimes in garden. DC eats whilst he works. DH makes me a pot of tea and himself s coffee. I feed cats again and give them milk and fuss them after. Dd goes into garden for a break. DH goes back up to work. I put on TV and sit under blanket drinking tea. I might email or attend to paper work for 20 mins. I might MN. I check DC work task 1 and suggests improvement before he emails it across to his teacher. DS comes back in TV comes off

You do more than I do OP.....

Don't be hard on yourself OP. It's a pandemic and I would rather you chill at home than go out. I think as long as you aren't bored or depressed nothing needs to change at this moment in time.

If you have time to do fuck all then crack on - I definitely would if I could!!! I don't think it's a poor use of time, you are giving your brain a rest from work. Whenever I think I have a free weekend day I get all excited but when it comes there always seems to be a tonne of housework shite to plough through and I resent it. I would much rather sit on my arse watching donald duck cartoons and eating haagen daaz.

I think one good think about lockdown is the absence of “should”, in terms of what you “should” be doing more of.

Thanks all

We went for a walk this morning but have been sofa-bound for most of the rest of the day.

On the back of this thread I've decided to embrace it (have treated myself to a big bottle of Aromatherapy Associates bath oil in the sale to make those long baths really luxurious!) but equally I'm also going to do a couple of the things suggested on this thread to feel a bit more focused and productive. I'm going to start a new knitting project and ensure that I keep a daily yoga journal (this feeds into some training I'll be starting later in the year), so the weekends have a bit of structure.

Best of both worlds hopefully!

Wake up
Go downstairs
Work for 10 hrs trying to get up and mooch about the house in my 1 hours worth of breaks spread over the day
Finish work
Cook dinner
Walk to next room to sit on the sofa and watch telly
Go to bed

Rinse and repeat.

By the time work is over its too dark/cold/crimey to venture outside and my lunch is only half hour long.

I am a walking potato at this point.

@Bluewavescrashing you’ve got it spot on.

I agree, we have been almost conditioned to believe that being constantly busy is the only way to lead a ‘productive’ and worthwhile life.
We just need to keep ourselves together right now. If thats lazing on the sofa, so be it!
I’ve started to put on pyjama bottoms (clean, so I’m winning) with a T-shirt and calling it lounge wear! 😂

I'm the same as you OP. I work in a full time demanding job in a professional role and at the weekend I'm a complete slob - I often wonder what clients and colleagues would think if they could see me at home!!!

We are childfree in this house so spend weekends doing exactly as you describe - watching tv, reading lots, cooking, doing our own hobbies. We do venture out for a walk with the dog every day but other than that we are staying indoors and just relaxing. I felt guilty at first but now I don't - we are abiding by lockdown rules and enjoying each others company and enjoying doing nothing intense.

Saying that both of us have put on a bit of weight but trying not to be too bothered about it - we're happy and healthy and that counts for so much than I had realised previously.

Same here work full time from home and hate being stuck in. I’m 2 stone heavier having gone from gym junkie 10 classes a week to nothing. Can’t motivate with online. Don’t like long walks in the cold. Did walk dog twice today forced self to declutter utility room and hoovered car. Ironing still there and can’t be arsed to dye my roots.
Everything is beyond an effort. Am totally lost. Was once so organised busy & well just alive !!!
I’m not depressed just well lazy and apathetic.
At least now I no I’m not alone. Can’t help thinking that all these cooks & DIYers must be on furlough

Sounds blissful!

I feel exactly the same. I was just sitting her worried that I have become very lazy then saw this post. I can see I'm not the only one that feels like this but I do worry that I won't 'snap out of it' when things finally get back to some sort of normal (whatever and whenever that is). I know I put too much pressure on myself to be doing what I think everyone else is doing but I just have no motivation whatsoever, I feel incredibly lazy.

Full time carer for my mum plus homeschooling my 2 primary children. I'm run off my feet during the week. Weekends I try to spend time with my children relaxing but im a single parent and my youngest makes a lot of mess (additional needs) i started running in September when they went back to school and have lost weight and improved my health hugely. Running is keeping me sane right now. Just that time out the house helps so much. I'd love to lounge about watching netflix
You go for it if you can OP x

@Bluesmartiesandpandapop

IME the more you do the more energy you have. When my life is packed with things to do I get the energy for socialising to work hard, from work to exercise, from exercising to learn new things, from learning new things to clean the house, from cleaning the house to socialise, etc. It's like they all support each other. How is sitting on my bum all morning going to energise me to do something fantastic in the afternoon? It's not, and doesn't. I find not being able to switch off exhausting. A lot of the time I'm just browsing the news or mumsnet finding out what I can do the next day, whilst keeping an eye on my kids while they stare at the TV. But I'm on guard all the time. I rarely find moments of true relaxation, fun, joy, excitement, exhilaration, anticipation, wonder, etc. I don't get into a flow of productivity or creativity. I've stopped having "Eureka!" Moments. It's just a grey tepid sludge life. But I'm stressed and burnt out from being on 'pause' all the time. Being on standby uses nearly as much energy as being on, IYSWIM. And I'm never off. I like to live life in 'full.' Fully awake, fully asleep, fully inspired, fully at peace, fully at work, fully st rest. This is like being in purgatory. I can't wait for the world to switch back to 'full power' mode.

Thank you for putting into words what I haven’t been able too. It’s so true what you’re saying, being on “standby” & it is exhausting

I would have longed for that kind if day about 3/4 years ago but that's when my children were still young and it was chaotic. I find pressure exhilarating and now I long for the energy demanded for younger children. I would say though that we did loads with the children when they were very young inside and out of the home. Those things are not available in the new Covid world so perhaps it would not be as energising as I think.

I was so exhausted at Xmas that’s all I did OP
And I’m in bed now
This is very mentally tiring
So normal

I’d be happy with that level of activity if it was me

I think if you are content and trying to do a bit of exercise then what works for you works for you. It sounds like you work very hard during the week so good to have some downtime. It is a very unique situation and the weather is pretty grim also!
I’m someone who needs exercise to get more energy. My life is very busy with a part/time jobs and 3 very , very energetic sons. There is no way in hell we can sit in our pjs for the morning. We are out by 10 am ( my dcs are all up by 6.30am) and we do at least two activities outside a day. I cook a lot and clean as I have to have a tidy , clean house. I go running as I find it good for energy and over health.
We’ve tried chilled out, at home tv days but it never works for us , our dcs just get agitated and need to get out. Sometimes I would like a more relaxed pace and I can get jealous of how much downtime and chilling other plp get to do I need fresh air and space and nature or else I become low too.
I compensate by going to bed v v early and getting as much sleep as I can.... Enjoy your relaxing op x

It’s really interesting actually because I have never stopped and rested until the lockdown. It has been a complete revelation just chilling as people put it. Reading, watching Netflix, doing a jigsaw. I would have said that wasn’t me, but it is now. And I love it, I feel like I have found my inner lazy person. But, what I do notice is that the time passes much more quickly when I am doing nothing on the weekend and it bothers me that it feels over before it has started. When I used to cram loads of things in, the weekends felt much longer. As soon as we are able, I will go back to sport, shopping and socialising but I am glad I have discovered how to relax and I am not dreading my retirement anymore as I now think I will be quite content slowing down.

Agreed. This weekend I was so lazy. Sorted my horse out, but otherwise I did nothing really, only about 1/4 of the housework I wanted to do. Don't even feel that rested.

I found last lockdown harder maybe because I wasn’t able to work but this time I can do my week is quite busy so I’m fully embracing the weekend laziness. Maybe it’s the weather. I have committed to redoing couch 2 5 k when it gets a bit lighter in the evenings.

I do a Coursera course when I start to feel uncomfortable about my laziness. (And then go back to being lazy...)