Am I just really... lazy?

[HensInTheSkirtingBoard]

OK, so obviously it's lockdown so we're not really going anywhere or doing anything. And I have older teen dc who are self-sufficient. And it's winter so it's cold and dark and meh.

But all the same, I can't shake the feeling that I am just becoming a bit of a lazy slob!

I WFH in a fairly full-on job, but at the weekends DH and I spend a lot of time on the sofa, doing pretty much fuck all. I read, knit, MN, doom-scroll Twitter, watch box-sets or films eat chocolate. I do a bit of yoga most days but sometimes that's not much more than just 15 minutes breathing slowly

Either DH or I cook every evening and we go for a long walk every weekend and I do a bit of vague cleaning / tidying but apart from that...not much. And during the warmer months we did more or less the same but just outside and with a bit of herb-growing thrown in.

And I'm not sure whether I'm ok with this, or not, really? I'm not bored, exactly, but it does feel a bit as if I'm wasting time when I could (should?) be doing...more? I can't get over the idea that everyone else is busy and productive and Doing Stuff all the time and I'm just sat on my arse under a blanket all day.

And yes, I know some people are working ridiculous hours and juggling childcare and home-schooling and barely have time to think - I'm not trying to be insensitive to that. But I can't be the only one stapled to the sofa and feeling odd about it, can I?

Until you mentioned your DS I assumed from your description of your life that you had no kids and was going to say “enjoy it while you can!” if you intended to have a family. But I guess your DC is/are old enough to look after themselves now? In which case you must have spent a lot of the past being very busy and not able to lounge on the sofa. Just enjoy it. Knitting is an actual activity anyway and you are making something- it’s not lazy. And keeping up with current affairs is also a legitimate way to engage your brain, even if it is via Twitter.

And you go for a long walk every weekend! You’re doing very well, believe me.

Love the description of your day OP. Much like mine.
I just try and fit all my “jobs” in the hours between Homes Under the Hammer and Escape to the Country....feel I have achieved something meaningful for the day if I just get to clean out the fridge and get my post from the garden gate. 😂

I'm the same and it's making me depressed to be honest.
I'm fine with not going out every day - it is the middle of winter after all, but I need to be doing something more than sitting on my arse at least a few times a week.

OP, your life sounds absolutely fine to me. If you feel you need to do more what about volunteering once a week for maybe shopping for an older person? I think you are missing out on having a purpose.

Really though, unless you have a huge desire to help others, I say just crack on with what you are doing.

Me too OP, I just CBA to do anything. Sit around drinking coffee and browsing mumsnet most of the time. Feel like I should be more bothered but I'm not.

It's lockdown not a productivity competition. Do what you need/want to do to get you through. If that's sitting and watching telly, knit, read with a bit of yoga chucked in you go for it :)

I should add that's on my days off and in the evenings. Work is extremely hectic so I do feel genuinely knackered.

Bluesmartiesandpandapop that's a really good post, I hadn't thought of it that way, well I knew about "if you want something done ask a busy person" and I agree that the more you do, the more energy you have, but being on pause is neither one or the other and it is really exhausting.

@CheetasOnFajitas - yes ds is 17 so very self-sufficient now! All I have to do is stick my head around his bedroom door now and again to nag him to bring plates and cups downstairs! But when he was younger I was a single parent working FT in the NHS and studying so, yeah, maybe I've earned some sofa time

Cognitive Load! I read an article about this!

There are loads of things we normally do on auto pilot, wander round the supermarket is an example - now we might have had to get used to ordering our shopping on line but even going to the supermarket - wiping the trolley, gelling our hands keeping our distance from other shoppers, we can't do it on autopilot!

Add in the Tiers systems, rules, can I do this can I go there we're all using chunks of our brain all the time and it's making us tired!

It's the same part you use to control how much you eat, whether you have a glass of wine or not!
It's worn out thinking about other stuff hence we're all eating biscuits and knocking back the gin! 🤣

I can't be the only one stapled to the sofa and feeling odd about it, can I?

No.

I've stopped having "Eureka!" moments.

Have you tried sitting in the bath?

If you’re not unhappy but just feel you need to be a bit more productive - why not make more of your knitting? Go through your patterns, make a list of the things you want to make and work through the list.

Sounds a bit daft, but it worked for me when I was poorly and immobile for a while to feel like I was doing something.

Yep- the less l do, the less l want to do! But l have made peace with that

Your weekends seem similar to ours, during the week when I am working from home the week flies by because I'm so busy, but at weekends we just seem to sit on the sofa most of the time.

The psychology of this is really interesting.

I think, be kind to yourself and if you can't manage much today, that's OK.

Interesting point about cognitive load @Isolatedizzy. My job is related to the NHS so it is pretty bonkers at the moment with things changing day by day, and usually where I would be super-organised I find now, as I said up-thread, that I'm just not processing information in the same way.

I get up.
Get ready and go to work (can’t wfh).
Get home, cook dinner, slob on sofa until bedtime.
I squeeze in laundry, online food shop and a tidy up.
DP who wfh, does an hours housework each morning. Our house is pretty spotless really. He also puts washing on and hangs it up before he starts work.
My exercise is 6K steps around the office daily - I also go out for a walk around our building, especially if sunny. It’s on a large business park, now empty.
We don’t go out at all apart from this unless the vets, collecting prescriptions or the butcher.

I'm the same. Is this a problem? I've always been a bare minimum person. My house is neat and tidy, but all I do is keep on top of it, put a wash on, a quick Hoover. I like sitting down doing not very much, mn'ing.

Other times if it's something I'm interested in, learning a new xero accounting module, or booking flights and restaurants to Berlin or Krakow, for my group of girl friends, then I'm driven, and a hive of activity.

But mostly not!
Never bothered me before!

What I'm finding really hard is being bright and hopeful and encouraging to my team (18 on zoom largely). Sometimes I don't feel bright and hopeful but expend so much energy keeping other people up and sympathising looking for solutions for them!

There's some stuff I could be doing today, but I haven't finished doing nothing from yesterday yet.

Back in March and April last year I used the extra time when I wasn’t going out to do all those little jobs that I don’t normally have time for eg tidying cupboards, washing lamp shades - then the warmer weather sent me into the garden
When rules relaxed we started going out more - days out, longer walks and picnics
Most recent lockdowns November and thus one I have completely lost the impetus to do anything - I struggle through working week, caring for elderly DM, on a weekend I just collapse in a heap and try to recharge my batteries
I know I’m low end of being depressed but in past have not found drugs helped so just carrying on as best as I can

You should just enjoy the quiet time. As long as you are cooking healthy meals, keeping housework up to date and getting some fresh air every day, just enjoy.

When I was going out to work 5 days full time, taking dc to activities and birthday parties, I had very little down time. I used to get a cold sore each month, lots of colds despite jogging at lunchtime in work and eating healthily.

In fact if the pandemic didn't happen and if I had to keep going in my normal life, I think I would have got very sick. I am 48, have always worked fulltime and have 2 tweens. In fact I had an earache for a month when I stopped up last March. It took a few weeks to get up and running with wfh.

Now I have a nice amount of downtime the house is tidy as I am wfh every day and can tidy as I go. The big thing is losing the work commute, losing the 'browsing shops with tweens' and the kids activities/socialising.

I'm the same and I think I'm doing plenty 😁. I mean what else is there to do.

@Bluewavescrashing
"Everybody fed, nobody dead"
Good motto! That's just what I'm going to strive for from now on!