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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to have been so angry at my Mum

154 replies

CoolNoMore · 08/01/2021 22:54

DH, DS1, DS2 and I are all living with my parents at the moment. They are generally amazing, very involved with the kids and my Dad has an excellent habit of doing all the washing up before anyone realises there is any. DS2 is a challenging 6 month old so I really do appreciate all their help.

However, my Mum is a dumbass sometimes. She gets overexcited about things and overlooks basic safety. Example: handing my 3 year old a blow torch. The torch was off and the safety catch was on, but surely I'm not the only person in the world to think that kids and blowtorches should be kept apart?!

Anyway. My parents arrived back from a walk with DS2 today, very excited and proud of themselves. He had been fussy, as usual, but today they decided to fix that by sitting him up in the bassinet, hood partially down so he could see out. He was at the far end of the bassinet, facing whoever was pushing. It's a tired old bugaboo, so although it's quite deep, the bassinet tips a little if weighted at either end.

I will readily admit that I'm an emotional, sleep-deprived hormone monster, but he looked like a small bump or an over-excited dog could have easily knocked him out. DH didn't see so is reserving judgement, but reckons that if I think it's unsafe that should be the end of the discussion.

I have never seen anyone propping up a wobbly six-month-old in a bassinet, except possibly in cartoons. When I furiously expressed my fears for DS2, my Mum was defensive and dismissive. She agreed not to do it again, but only because she recognises that the decision is mine to make, not because she thinks it's dangerous in any way. This makes it difficult to trust her judgement.

YABU: She managed to raise two kids, she knows what she's doing/ I'd have done the same thing
YANBU: That was really stupid and dangerous

OP posts:
Lookslikerainted · 09/01/2021 12:25

You sound quite disrespectful, calling your mum a dumbass. This is the woman who has raised you, allows you to love with her and helps you a lot.

No one will parent exactly like you, just have a rational conversation if they aren’t parenting the way you like, maybe stop using them for free childcare.

FanGurrl · 09/01/2021 13:22

I had the original Bugaboo Cameleon, (only mention this as OP said hers was old) - my MIL did exactly this with my DS and I agree that it wasn't very secure or stable. My DS was only about 4 months at the time, but he was a chunk! I changed over to the seat unit not long after.
I wouldn't be happy with a DC being propped up in the carrycot of my Cameleon, though I've a feeling the newer Cameleons are sturdier!

GoLightlyontheEarth · 10/01/2021 08:16

[quote CoolNoMore]**@BusterTheBulldog* aw, thanks buddy! And thanks to @Iminaglasscaseofemotion* who was dosing out the sensible responses like a pro.

The baby is actually asleep in the cot. Wtf. I'm going to bed! Sorry to those who got upset - my love and respect for my Mum is unrivalled. We are chums, pals, buddies... and we value each others' input. Even when it comes in the form of 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DUMBASS?!'*

*I have never said this to her. She has, however, called me a twat. And rightly so.[/quote]
I’m sorry but a mother calling her daughter a twat and a daughter calling her mother a dumbass seems a bit of an odd dynamic to me.
You say you are best buddies, but you’re on an Internet forum criticising the way she looks after your children. Why don’t you discuss it with her in a reasonable way?

Bookworming · 10/01/2021 20:27

Move out and lead your own life!

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