To ask what you think of SAHMs?

[HarryHarryHarry]

For the past 3 years I have been a SAHM. I never imagined that I would be one but I actually quite like it. Eventually I plan to go back to work but it could be that I just work unskilled-type jobs instead of having a proper career. I really don’t know what my options will be when the time comes. I might just stay home and focus on my writing, which is my real passion, or I might go back to university and retrain in something. (We are lucky that we can currently afford to get by on just one parent’s wages). Recently though I have been wondering what my children will think of me when they’re older. Especially my daughter. Am I a bad example to her?

If your mum was a SAHM, did you have any thoughts about that?

I am mixed on this. I think as lovely as it is to be at home, a lot of SAHMS I know have not sent their children to school until they are 5 and I think it's more for their benefit than the child's.
Personally although I could SAH, I work PT as I feel that I want my children to see that mummy works to and is not reliant on dad!
I know several SAHMS and the husbands do not seem to show they respect, I want an equal partnership and working makes me feel like we are equals.
But it's personal voice and personal thoughts.

[quote Baws]@Cleverpolly3
The feeling is mutual however I’m obviously adult enough to believe that we are entitled to our own views. I hope you’re not this judgemental when others disagree with you in real life![/quote]
The feeling is mutual comment wasn’t even in relation to you

Having said that you’re another of the a SAHM s are addle painted or nincompoops brigade so quite happy not to be part of the vipers’ nest thanks
You crack on

@Baws What possible reason would there be for someone with grown up children not to work if they didn’t have enough money? Surely that’s the logical solution? I have no idea, I'd never presume to know the ins and outs of someone else's decisions. We all have our own reasons for decisions we make, that aren't always shared on Facebook.

My god that’s an asinine response @TarnishedSilver
Of course everyone has their own reasons,the point of mn is the exploration of self and other people motives. Which has an ouch factor that some on mn just cannot tolerate

[quote Baws]@GypsyLee
It’s wrong to expect people not to work to support their family when there are no reasons why they shouldn’t? I’m baffled that you think this is acceptable! You sound very entitled![/quote]
I'm baffled as to why you are so narrow minded.
I'm an activist and campaigner, and ironically fight for women of my culture to be able to work if they choose.
You don't need a job to be useful in society

I think women should be free to do what they want and that includes being a housewife if both parties are happy with it.

A lot of people seem to believe that it's 'good for society' for women to work but I thought that this was supposed to be one of the factors in why buying properties is so unattainable for young people now, because the market prices reflect expected contribution from two partners as opposed to previously one.

Some of these comments are laughable!
Imagine me expecting people whose kids are adults and who are moaning about not having enough money and who are are also physically and mentally able to work to actually get a job? How judgemental of me!
Isn’t this a general expectation in society that we work to support ourselves unless we are unable to? I’ve obviously got things wrong, maybe I should quit my job and sit on my arse expecting everyone else to support me! Unbelievable!

@GypsyLee
That explains things...

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee
Totally agree!

@TarnishedSilver
This person updates when they’ve had a shit on FB so not much that they don’t share!
I disagree, if you are part of a couple and only one works and money is tight when the other is able to work then of course that person should get a job. Surely it’s logical?

[quote Baws]@TarnishedSilver
This person updates when they’ve had a shit on FB so not much that they don’t share!
I disagree, if you are part of a couple and only one works and money is tight when the other is able to work then of course that person should get a job. Surely it’s logical?[/quote]
I have no time for people moaning about other people's posts on Facebook. Take control of your feed, if they annoy you, block their posts (they won't know) and move on, you'll feel all the better for it.

*At a societal level it is a shame that so many intelligent women with so much to offer chose to opt out and SAHM
*
I actually think that society benefits a lot from mothers spending time raising children and looking after their families.

Mothers going to work will raise the country's economic output, but I feel society would be better off by mothers investing their time in their children's future.

SAHMs can also contribute to society in lots of other ways eg volunteering.

And fathers who work are they held to the same standards,do they need to invest time?
Or Just the working women who are deemed as lackadaisical on investing time

Baws

I Have a PgCE (Post compulsory) teaching wasn't for me, but performing was.
I can no longer do this and me and dh business has almost gone, but diversifying has saved us.
We are asset rich as in our 50's now, and cash poor.
I'm lucky I met dh because not many gogers (non gypsies) would have wanted me to keep my culture.
I work hard to inform our women that they should do what they want to and they can stll keep their culture.
We have a Barrister, Solicitors, Police officers, nurses, dinner ladies, cleaners, hairdreesers and beauty technicians, bed shop owner, and so many other professions and jobs.
All our husbands are driveway pavers, or dodgy tree fellers.
I've been very lucky to also share a passion and experience in the same industry as my dh. It's enabled me to keep up with changes and issues concerning the entertainment industry.
This is an ever changing industry, and one I know that once I left there would be no going back.
But with our own business and not having a job I've been able to take the kids on tours, festivals and of course dedicate the time to our gifted child. Who had her own professional diary from 8 years old.

Now, I'm not telling my story for any other reason to point out that we can all be so different and giving someone a title is ridiculous unless they are following a strict code they can't wander from with defined roles and responsibilites.
I don't expect anyone to say my life is for them, because I know it isn't.
But, many lifestyles aren't for me, either.
Let's live and let live eh?
Please make your own choices, show an interest in other womens views, we aren't each others enimies, we should be supporting each other. Bloody hell, enough men put women down, don't join them.

Any parent, regardless of gender, should invest as much time as possible into their children's upbringing, but it's highly unlikely to be financially possible for both parents to do this, unfortunately.

I haven't read all the thread as I know how they go every time.

I loved my mum being a SAHM. Some of my mates found it hard not having a parent at home after school and during holidays and felt guilty if they kept their mums home from work when they were ill.

I think if a woman wants to stay at home with her kids and it's best for her family, she should, she shouldn't miss out on that because of others views, similarly if she wants to go back to work, it should be facilitated for her to do so.

I also think the same options should be made for a man, I know a couple of SAHD who love it and think it's best for their family. It is whatever works for the family.

The sooner we stop judging others for their choices the better off people will be.
Surely people are still not that naive or arrogant to think their choice fits all and are best for all.

And the Oscar for the most blindingly obvious statement goes to @Rosesaresweet
Any parent, regardless of gender, should invest as much time as possible into their children's upbringing duh, you think?

...a lot of SAHMS I know have not sent their children to school until they are 5 and I think it's more for their benefit than the child's.

What on earth makes you assume that?
I presume you do what you feel is best for your family, why can't that be the case for these parents?

I know several SAHMS and the husbands do not seem to show they respect, I want an equal partnership and working makes me feel like we are equals.
I know loads of working women who's husbands don't pull their weight. Their wives work hard all day and then come home to work all evening, the husband usually has a time consuming hobby which takes them away at weekends too.

My husband and I have a partnership, each of us feels respected and we're happy with how things work. This has applied throughout our marriage regardless of my employment status.
He was offered a position that means he's not here during the week, it's hard to do your fair share around the house and with the children when your not in the home to do it.

I must say you’re sounding slightly more coherent today, Handbag. What happened, did the off-licence close early?

Hello @Pa1oma you’re a funny one aren’t you, I’m bemused but no I’m not taking your obvious bait
Please continue though, it’s semi-amusing in a predictable way

My children were never out of school for my benefit neither were any of the other H.edders we met.
Quite a few were unfortunately unable to be provided for in mainstream education.

Once again you don't have to work in a career or job to have an equal partnership with your husband and for him to respect you.
With men like this it would make no difference what you did.

the point of mn is the exploration of self and other people motives.
You don't seem to be interested in anyone else's motives. Maybe a little self exploration is required as to why.

Just live and let live and move on .